Healing
96. Goodbye to the Past

After discussing with my family, then mom and Dad listened to Juna's explanation. Finally mom and dad agreed with my plan to start a new chapter in a new place. It was in the big city where Juna contracted.

" What do you want to open a business there?, you have not cooked for a long time, have not made cakes and snacks market. Do you stay at home for a few days, trying to practice cooking and various kinds of cakes?", asked Mama.

Mama said, I haven't made all that food in a long time. But seeing the chef cooking every day at Bian's restaurant, maybe I can do the same thing as that chef.

" Open a small rice stall, for the beginning of life in a new place there is no harm. I will start cooking there, Ma, Juna will have to leave tomorrow, and I want to go with Juna" I said.

" If that Juna agrees, it is not Juna need to go out to find food every day, there are already kak Raya who cook, and later, later, Juna will promote rice stalls with friends Juna. There are a lot of rent and costs, so Juna thinks selling rice has good prospects".

After dinner and discussions until the evening with the family, I went back to my room. Maybe I'm the only woman who doesn't bother because her marriage is canceled. Because I had prepared my heart from the beginning, with the worst possible, worse than this.

Sad for sure, but I do not want to dissolve in my sadness, indeed from the beginning I did not want to get married. But meeting Bian made my future shadow change, but it was only for a moment. Now my mindset has changed again, not like it used to be, not like yesterday. There is no marriage and a focus on making myself happy, if I used to focus on working to support Shaka and family, but from now on there is Juna who helps mom and dad, but from now on, I just want to move on with my life in search of my own happiness.

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In the morning I asked Juna to return the wedding dress and kebaya to the boutique, too bad to have paid dearly but not so worn. And the rent can not be asked back, because the dress and kebaya have been taken home for several days.

I deliberately did not go to the boutique, worried about meeting Utari, or maybe meeting Bian. That's why Juna set out alone carrying a big suitcase with my matic motorbike.

Returning home from the boutique, Juna first stopped by the station to book a train ticket. Tomorrow is the day that I will leave with Juna to the city, we will stay in Juna's rented. Hopefully everything goes according to expectations. Start a new life in a new place.

" Why don't you come to Juna's shop to Ra?, but still here, do you not want to go for a walk first, so that later the memories around here you still remember when there".

I shook my head. " Maybe it's just this house that I still want to remember so I can remember going home to see my mom and dad. Elsewhere, I don't want to remember anything. Because my purpose in getting out of here is to forget all the bad memories that have happened here".

Mama nodded in understanding. " It was supposed to be 11 years ago, mama followed your wishes when you asked her to move out of this house. Start a new page somewhere else. But at that time our economy was not good. Mama is afraid that if we move and sell this house, it is precisely in other places we can be homeless because living in a big city is nothing expensive".

" Mama hope you will feel at home living in a rented Juna, and your business can grow rapidly, and you can succeed there. Mama will not tell you to get married again, now mama handed all the decisions about your life to you Ra. because of your own sadness and happiness that you feel, Ra, and you know how to create happiness in your life" said Mama.

Tonight this Sunday night, Rita came to my house after hearing from Juna if tomorrow I would go and stay with Juna in her rented house.

Rita deliberately stayed at my house, of course we continued to chat and sleep until late at night. Tomorrow's Sunday, Rita's allotment is off at the restaurant. And Rita knows that I'm not okay. Rita came to cover lara in my heart. But all night I deliberately didn't talk about Bian, or about my wedding cancellation. Rita knew it. He also continued to discuss other things about the excitement we both had together.

Just need to remember the beautiful memories, no need to remember the sad things.

In the morning Rita accompanied me shopping for daily necessities such as bath soap, toothpaste, shampoo, and so on. I deliberately buy here, so that until the city later there is no need to rush to the supermarket and shopping, because said Juna, if leaving in the afternoon, until the city is already night. Straight to sleep and the next day Juna immediately began to go to work.

That's why having to prepare everything from home, after all carrying daily needs is not heavy.

Juna promised that when he got there tomorrow he would accompany me to shopping at night after he went to work, Juna said there the market was open until night. I did have to shop for household furniture, to start a food stall business.

Juna Contract consists of 3 compartments of space, which Juna uses as a living room, room and bathroom.

If I stayed there, Juna would sleep in the living room, and I would sleep in his room, which could be used for both the kitchen and the lounge, all in one place.

In the future I already have plans to contract in a bigger house, not just maps like the one Juna lives in now. Juna also agreed with my plan. Moreover, I will make a rice stall, it takes a large place, so that buyers can eat on the spot, not just in packs.

Plan after plan I had thought carefully, although this plan was very sudden, but I was determined, so that everything could come to mind quickly.

In the afternoon, Juna and I said goodbye to mom and dad, we both chose to book a car online to the station because there were quite a lot of things we brought. I also bring almost all my clothes. Because I don't want to go home anytime soon.

The backpack Bian bought while going up the mountain was quite useful as well, so I was able to put a lot of my clothes in it because I did not have a suitcase.

This was my first trip away from home, to start a new life. If I had gone far with Bian and his friends before for a hike, and enjoy nature, this time was different. I don't go to enjoy nature and have fun. I'm going to start a new, better life.

Mama cried to let go of me and Juna. Likewise with Rita who since yesterday still continues with me. Maybe all this time she is the only friend who is really kind and sincere to me.

" Frequently tell me about Ra.., who knows someday I can play in the city, and can stop by your rented. If you change your phone number, please call me right away, I want us to keep in touch even if you're in a distant place".

I just nodded, because honestly right now I also really want to cry, a place that bears witness to my life since I was born to this day. Today I chose to leave this place. I gave up trying to stay afloat until the end. Because maybe my happiness isn't here. I have to find my own happiness that might be somewhere else.

" Please convey my apology to all the friends at the restaurant, and leave this to Riko or Bian, I resign from my job, she said, if Riko gives the rest of my salary this month please give it to my mama yes Rit", I said softly, this throat feels like choking, it's very difficult to talk, sometimes I look up, I look up, to hold back the tears that had filled my eyelids.

Rita nodded as she received the envelope containing my resignation letter.

" What should I say if Bian or Riko asks you where you're going?", asked Rita.

" Just answer what it is" I answered briefly.

Rita again understood.

This morning I also sent a message to Yoga, I said if I let Shaka stay with him, I leave Shaka to him, to be taken care of and schooled until Shaka succeeds. That's all I said, I didn't tell him I was going far.

Precisely what Yoga knew I was saying was because he thought I was married to Bian, and was about to start a new chapter with Bian, go from my mother's house, to live with Bian. Karen from the message she sent, she said good luck with my new life, and prayed for me to be happy with my new life. I just replied to her by saying "Aamiin".

But thank God if that's what Yoga knows, he doesn't need to know if my marriage is off, because if he finds out, I'm sure he'll come back to see me again.

Goodbye home full of memories, goodbye mom and dad who I love the most, goodbye all dark past. I'm sorry I gave up staying here, I went to find my happiness.

And welcome new life, welcome happiness, I go to reach you in a new place....