Healing
116. Pregnant

At one o'clock in the morning Yoga called me, telling me that he had arrived home safely. Of course I am grateful for it, I did not deny when I was about to sleep earlier I had time to remember, worrying about his journey home. And pray for his safety.

" Thank God, if you arrive safely, now rest, it's late at night, you must be tired after driving for 5 hours, I also want to sleep again, there is still 2 hours to close my eyes" I said in a phone conversation with Yoga.

" If you had just come home with me, surely would not feel tired traveling alone with you, especially after reaching home we can do as it was last noon again, hehehe... after that, we will both sleep well. Huh...just got home I've missed you again Ra....".

Yoga started saying sweet words to seduce me. If we lived together, maybe my body would crumble because it had to serve the desire of Yoga that was passionate. Maybe a day can have sex repeatedly, and surely my body will be crushed.

" Why are you quiet Ra...., have you slept?, I talked alone dong from earlier?".

I deliberately did not respond to the words Yoga, because I did not know how to respond to his words that lead to it. I'd rather be quiet, thankfully it's a phone call, not a video call, so Yoga can't see what I'm doing.

Yoga thought I was asleep, so he hung up first.

Half two, I still wish I could close my eyes and sleep, but unfortunately, my sleepiness has gone somewhere. And now I can't sleep anymore. Maybe because I slept long enough this afternoon, so now I'm not sleepy anymore.

I decided to get ready to go to the market early. After yesterday's holiday sale, today we start early.

Back to selling food as usual for 4 days, and on the weekend Yoga came back, but only alone, not invite Haidar or Shaka, he just wanted to meet me and complete his desire. Of course again I must serve him, for I am his wife.

Yoga until 5 pm in my rented and early morning return home. He said because he missed me so much, and could not resist meeting me again, so he came, but on the cloth side he was busy with his work in the office, that's why Yoga defends my contract and returns to her house in the middle of the night, after taking pleasure with me several times to have sex.

And since then, now almost every weekend Yoga comes to ask for his ration. I actually felt sorry for him for a long time. Just for the sake of meeting me he had to travel a long distance for 5 hours. Should I stop selling and stay with Yoga?.

Until the second month when Yoga said that his latest project is almost complete. Yoga decided to stay and sleep in my rented room. In the evening we slept at the end of the contract which had been renovated.

This contract is bigger and more comfortable than my contract. Especially new to the renovation, everything is still all new, from the floor, wall paint, ceiling, to furniture such as mattresses and curtains are all new.

And tonight feels different from the usual day, when I wake up at 2 am, to take a shower before going to the market. Somehow my head felt very dizzy and throbbing, not to mention the nausea that suddenly appeared.

I had to go to the bathroom many times to vomit, until I finally did not go to the market, and Yoga took me to the hospital around 3 am.

Yoga is very worried about knowing my situation, Yoga has indeed prohibited me from selling since a week ago, precisely on the weekend, because it sees my face that looks pale and thin, let alone my energy that feels weakened. It's like I'm just giving up every time I and Yoga have sex. Because I feel more tired than before.

Maybe I became tired easily, because I used to always sleep well and did not have to serve my husband, so even though I was tired, but balanced with enough rest, he said, whereas now I have to serve my husband who if he comes can up to 3 times repeat the heat struggle with me. While during the day I have to keep doing my routine is very solid, from shopping to the market, cooking, selling and a series of routines that I have to do every day.

Yoga immediately took me to IGD to be treated by a doctor, because I was worried about food poisoning or eating something wrong.

And all those worries changed instantly as soon as the doctor told us the cause of my nausea, vomiting, and feeling tired easily.

Turns out I was pregnant.

I should be happy to hear the good news, I will have children, because that is what all couples expect after marriage. But I don't know what I feel right now, I just feel like I'm not ready to have children.

All this time I followed her desire to have sex because I was his wife, but there was no love in it, and if I am now pregnant, this child is formed not based on love. That's all I love, I wish I was pregnant after I came back to love Yoga like I used to. But it turns out that what happened was not always what was expected.

I just realized that I haven't been here for two months. And the doctor advised that from now on I should not be too much activity that makes me tired.

And Yoga.he must return home immediately to take care of his company.

Worried about my frail physical condition, Yoga asked me to agree to go home and live with him, because if I stayed at the Yoga house, I could have a complete rest, in the house there is already ART that does all the homework. And I don't have to do anything but eat and sleep in that house.

" Now you can choose, want to be admitted to the hospital with a nurse that I will hire specifically to care for and take care of you. Or you want to come home to my house, so that you can have a complete rest at home".

" I don't want you to be exhausted and things happen that we don't want to see our child".

The choice was quite difficult, but the truth I was feeling right now after knowing that I was pregnant was to stay with the father of the baby in my stomach.

I used to be pregnant and live without a husband, without feeling the warmth of a small family, even I was locked up for months in the house so that no neighbors know the shape change of my body, he said, it feels like a prisoner.

And right now, I no longer want to get pregnant without the care and affection of a husband. I want this fetus in my stomach to get an overflow of affection not from his mother, but from his father as well.

That's why after thinking about it maybe I should obey Yoga to come home and live with him.

" Well, I'll come home with you, but we'll take the contract first to tell Juna, and get my clothes".

I thought I should be near my husband.

The doctor let me go home, and Yoga took me straight to the contract, until the contract at half-time at 6am, Juna was already sitting on the bench in the front stall of my contract.

" Sister from where?, did something happen?, Sister today is not selling anymore?", that's Juna's question when I saw me get out of the car with in the armchair by Yoga.

I sat on the bench next to Juna.

" Sister must go home, and from today on, brother does not sell anymore. The food stall will be closed", I said without telling Juna if I was young pregnant.

" Do you want to live with Kak Yoga?, Kaka has made a decision?", asked Juna again.

I also nodded. " Yes, you want to learn to be a good wife, this is your own desire to live with Yoga. You can dismantle this stall, and occupy the brother contract again. Don't ride in Bang Rasid's contract continue, it's not good to bother him all this time".

" Then give this to Mala, this is her last salary, tell Mala, if she likes cooking, try to open her own food stall, because you have to close your sister's food stall".

I handed over the envelope with money to Mala who had always come to help me cook and keep the stall.

Juna nodded, "I'll tell Mala later. May you be happy living with Yoga".

Juna turned to staring at Yoga, "I tipped kak Raya yes kak, lately she is easily sick and very easily exhausted. I agree that Kak Raya came home and lived with her husband. So someone is looking after him all the time. And again he won't be as tired as if he lived here".

After saying goodbye to Juna, I went into the contract and packed my clothes. All the furniture and cooking utensils I live in rented. I told Juna, if this furniture makes a narrow contract and wants to be given to Mala I do not papa.

Instead, I will feel happy if my cooking utensils are not neglected and someone uses them to cook.

Finally after 5 months of marriage, Yoga and I will live together in his house, like a couple in general.