Healing
90. Find you

The night is getting late, I have not dared to go home because Mama forbid me to go home before finding Shaka. It's all my fault, I was so stupid that I couldn't help but keep this a secret.

If Shaka meets later, I'll apologize to him immediately, and of course I'll say if I misspoke. Shaka must not know the truth, until whenever he must remain my sister, not my son. That's the most appropriate decision for everyone.

It still rained hard, I began to feel cold and hungry, all day I forgot to eat nothing since morning, even I had not had time to drink too. But now my position is away from home, not carrying a wallet, just a cell phone that I carry. All because I was so panicked and just left when I saw my anger.

My legs have started to feel sore, it turns out I have walked quite far from home, even now I am close to Bian's restaurant, should I stop by there just asking for a drink and a meal. But my situation now is not worth seeing by the rest of my friends.

But my stomach was very hungry, my feet were sore, let the other friends see me wet, with my hair cut, and body odor like this. I walked into the restaurant, but only the headlights were still on. What other employees are on the job today?, isn't my wedding tomorrow. But why is the restaurant closed only at 10, because usually the restaurant closed at 11 pm.

The lights in the restaurant are dead. The door is also locked. I tried calling Riko, asking how the restaurant was today. And Riko answered everything was fine, and it turned out that the afternoon shift came home early because early tomorrow morning everyone had to gather at the restaurant to prepare dishes for the Yoga and Utari wedding at the hotel.

" Why are you asking for a restaurant?, what is the boss of 2 days off at home?, instead of more activities in your home, for tomorrow's event?".

Riko's question made me realize, right also, tonight will be installed tents and bridal decorations in front of my house, maybe the installers have come. But I didn't dare to go home now because I haven't found Shaka yet.

What kind of man am I, maybe I'm the bride-to-be who wanders alone on her bridal night. Mama and papa's words from a few days ago forbade me to go outside on my own, today the ban no longer applies. Because today I wandered alone and no one accompanied me.

Surely Juna is also looking for Shaka and has not found him, because an hour ago Juna sent me a message, if he had searched Shaka to the next village.

I sat on the long chair in the small garden in front of the restaurant, straightening my legs which felt very tired and achy. Though tomorrow is an important day in my life, because tomorrow I officially become Bian's wife, but why at this time I think of something else. Not thinking about my wedding tomorrow.

Maybe because for me Shaka is my life, there is nothing more important than his salvation. My priority now is finding Shaka.

Raising Shaka is a testament to the long struggle I've been up to, she is a testament to how great a mother's affection for her infinite son is. It is true that the lyrics in a song that likens a mother's affection are like the sun shining on the world. That is the kind of love I give her.

Although I did not show it by continuing to be beside him like a mother in general, because my duties are threefold, being Shaka's mother, being an older brother, as well as a father for Shaka, he said, because I have to work in order to have income to support it all this time.

But I played the role of a mother and father who were kept secret. Because the status of the brother is listed on the family card.

My phone vibrated, there was a call from Yoga, I immediately raised it, all this time I was so quick to pick up the phone from Yoga, only the first ring I immediately lifted, I picked up, because usually I let it go, or even I reject if I know it's a call from Yoga.

" Hello Ga, how about, did you find Shaka?", I asked without further ado.

" Where are you?, let me pick you up now to meet Shaka, because if I were to meet him maybe Shaka would be more curious and want to know the truth. Maybe he'll guess and find out if I'm his father".

The sound of Yoga sounded so loud in my ears, because of the atmosphere in the quiet restaurant, as well as the passing of vehicles in front of the restaurant that began to be quiet.

" I'm at Bian's restaurant" I replied briefly.

" All right, you wait, I'll be right back".

Yoga hung up on me, and I said I was at Bian's restaurant, but Yoga didn't tell anyone to pick me up, and not for five minutes, Yoga arrived in front of the restaurant and came out to get to me. I quickly walked over to Yoga and got into his car without being told to.

Yoga seemed confused at first because I was sitting in the front seat, because Yoga had opened the back door, maybe he was worried I would refuse if asked to sit in the front, next to him.

But right now, all the awkwardness and discomfort that I used to feel when I was with Yoga was being set aside, for me right now the most important thing was finding Shaka, explaining to him the misunderstanding that occurred, which was, and bring her home.

" You look so pale, have you walked all this way?", asked Yoga while putting the umbrella that I had folded back.

I nodded in agreement.

" It seems that you have not eaten either?, eat this", Yoga handed him mineral water and torn bread that was still tightly wrapped. I just stared at him, not intending to accept it. " Let's calm I haven't opened at all, it's still sealed, so there's no way I'm giving you sleeping pills" .

I just pulled the tip of my lips while snorting, it turns out that he also has the same memory as the one on my mind, I remembered the incident after the camp that I finally fell asleep in the Yoga car after drinking a drink from him.

" Eat, I'm afraid you'll faint before you get to the place where Shaka is. Your face is as pale as the undead" says Yoga.

Finally I received bread and mineral water from him because the bread and mineral water were new and tightly closed, I ate a piece of bread and I drank a bottle of mineral water to the toilet.

Yoga also gave me the wet wipes I finished eating and drinking. I feel like my food is not broken.

" It makes your face clean, I'm so cute, surely you didn't go home and didn't take a shower this afternoon?, I know because you still wear the same clothes that you wore this morning".

Yoga speech is true, I also take a wet tissue and wipe my face to make it look a little more fresh. You can imagine how I am currently, the whole day has not been bathing, because not only in the afternoon I did not shower, all morning I also did not take a shower, but also did not take a bath, because the shirt I was wearing was the night shirt I used to sleep in, the long black toad pants, and the gray pink striped t-shirt. I don't know what my body smells like now.

Not to mention I'm coming months, and don't ask, all day not changing pads, of course it's been leaking, fortunately my pants are black, so it doesn't look, but the fishy smell is very pungent.

And luckily the Yoga car seat is black, if it leaks, not too clearly visible, and the Yoga car uses a car fragrance that is quite stinging and fresh smell, he said, so as to disguise my body odor and fishy smell from my menstrual blood.

" We have arrived" said Yoga, pointing to a ball field near the Junior High School where Shaka was attending school.

" Shaka is there?", I asked while staring at the dark field, because there were no lighting in the field, there were only a few lights on the edge of the room, and it wasn't bright enough to light up that vast field.

" Yes, Shaka is there, you meet him, and talk to him" Yoga said.

I got off the Yoga car and turned on the lights on my phone, as lighting. I could see a child sitting on the floor with his legs folded, so that his knees were as headrests, with his back resting on a pole in the parking lot with his face down.

Could it be that Shaka was sleeping?, but as I got closer to her, I could see Shaka's back rising and falling down, it seemed that Shaka was crying sobbing.

I am saddened to see how he is now. Since grade 4 Elementary, I've never seen Shaka cry again. And today, because of my mistake, Shaka was crying to such a whim.

" Saka... This is Kak Raya, can you accompany Shaka here?".

Shaka turned his head when I heard my voice, I saw his face was swollen, and his eyes were swollen. Is it possible that Shaka cried since this morning?.