Healing
3. Two Pill Grain

Arriving home I was confused again, there was a truth to what Ms. Herni said earlier, if anyone found out I was pregnant, not only I would be embarrassed, but my mother, papa, also his father and mother Yoga will also be embarrassed, especially those from prominent families. I can smear their family's good name.

I heard Papa's chat with Yoga in the living room, everything sounds normal.

Papa also seems to be increasingly fond of Yoga, because Yoga is a fun and connected conversation partner, even though they are different ages.

Papa does not know yet, what the young man has done to his only daughter, if Papa knows, maybe the face of Yoga is currently battered to be made a substitute for samsak by papa.

Now what I ask, does Yoga know with her mother's plan to abort the fetus in my womb?. If so, then he also agreed to kill his own flesh blood?. And what can I do if they all don't want this kid.

I still keep thinking between obeying Bu Herni's desire to abort the fetus in my stomach, or not. If my mama had known, could it be that mama would have thought the same as Ms Herni?.

Until the morning I had not taken the pill given by her mother Yoga. I even dreamed last night that a little boy was begging me to be saved when a big snake was about to swallow him. And I managed to save the boy, in my dream the boy gave a little bird of his own as a token of gratitude to me for saving his life.

I woke up in the morning and realized it was all a dream.

Today is Sunday, my mom is off from her job at the factory. Mama as usual had finished cooking before 6 am, because usually every time she left for work, all the food was served at the dinner table.

" Ra, later accompany the mama shopping needs monthly yes.. oh yes you need anything at all in the record, so later do not forget the fitting has reached the store".

I also as usual record my monthly needs, this has indeed become a habit, mama will be shopping big for needs for a month at our subscription store. Starting from kitchen needs, bath needs, to unexpected needs such as candle supplies, and stall medicines.

My mom read the list I made. I noted that my facial soap, deodorant, powder, and perfume were all gone. I saw my mom clenching her forehead.

" Why Ma?", I asked, because my mother seemed to be staring strangely at me. But then Mom shook her head and smiled again.

We both shopped like our monthly routines. At home, my mother went into my room and her gaze swept across the room, like looking for something. But I don't know what Mom's looking for.

I saw my mom stop on top of my closet. There's where I keep the pads I usually wear. What?, pads?, so it turns out that my mom realized that I hadn't put pads on our shopping list for three months.

Mama took a pack of pads my supplies were still intact. Not even open at all.

" You haven't come by the moon?", asked the mother with a probing look.

As soon as I was confused as to what to answer, the sudden question from my mother of course I had not predicted, and I was confused as to what to answer.

" Em.. anu.. ma. actually some time ago at school there was socialization of one of the sanitary napkin products, and all students were given pads for free, free, free of charge, so Raya wear that is given from the sponsor first, and the one bought by the mother, has not yet used Raya".

It was the first lie I told my mom, I was really sorry, but I had to.

Mama believed just like that with my words earlier, not one bit of mother was suspicious. That's what makes me feel guilty. Mama came out of my room after putting my sanitary napkin on top of the closet again. I feel safe this time, and I hope there will be no more second lies and so on.

I became convinced to follow the advice of Ms. Herni, I should take her pills, so that all the problems are resolved. I'll be fine and so will my parents.

I took her mother's Yoga pills that I kept in the dresser drawer in my room. Two whole grains. I looked at the pill again carefully, "excuse my dear mother., may you forgive your evil mama", my mind as I stroked my flat stomach.

I take water from the bottle that is always available at the dressing table. I swallowed a pill that Ms. Herni gave me with a bottle of water.

I hope this medicine doesn't cause any side effects in my body. And if this drug can poison me, it means it's my destiny to die with my son. I've resigned, rather than embarrass the family, die and let them be happy without me who just made this shame.

One hour I slept in bed, nothing I felt. All my body still feels fine. Is it because it is expensive, so this drug can abort the fetus without side effects at all?. I'm getting curious.

And I really feel every organ of my body, everything is still fine. Or should I have taken two pills at once?, but yesterday there was no message from Ms Herni, she just told me to take this pill, that's all.

Because there was nothing I felt I was out of my room, my goal was the kitchen, I was hungry and wanted to eat immediately, yes.

Mama looked at me with a probing gaze, I was taking lunch so felt like a thief caught stealing food in someone else's house.

" Mama why look at me like that?, is there something wrong with me?", I asked because I felt uncomfortable with the eyes of my mother.

" What laper are you?, see you take rice up like a mountain so. Will you eat it all?".

It turns out that Mama continues to stare because my portion of food is increasing more and more day. It is intermittently I feel hungry, which is why I have to eat a lot so that I am full.

Before this, my mother had never seen me eat, usually my mother went to work in the morning, and was busy with various preparations before work to make our family never do breakfast routine together. We ate alone, as well as lunch and dinner, always eating alone. That's why mama was a little surprised because this is the first time mama saw me take rice with a large portion.

" It's worth it lately mama saw you look fatigued, it turns out your appetite increased. Good then, so not so skinny this mama's boy". Mama pinched my cheek that was getting chubby.

A week after I took a pill given by her mother Yoga. I still did not feel any change, at that time I thought maybe I should come to the Yoga House and ask if the fetus in my stomach is still there or not.

But when I got to the front of the house, I saw a lot of cars parked in front of the house, there were also some cars that entered the yard. There is a family event at the Yoga house. It is my fault that I did not inform Yoga of my planned arrival.

The open gate allowed me to see all the way to the porch, where I saw Yoga joking with some of his older children, boys and girls joking together, I even saw Yoga embracing the shoulders of one of the beautiful girls of my age. I'm still trying to think positively, maybe he's his brother.

And I called Yoga's cell phone, to tell him where I was here, active phone, and connect, but never to be lifted, I saw Yoga still joking with his friends on the porch, it's possible that her phone is in the room so Yoga doesn't know I called her.

I am confused, it has been my responsibility to get here do I have to go home without meeting Yoga?. But if you enter just like that, it will certainly be very impressed disrespectful when in the big house there is a family event.

I decided to send a message to Yoga by sending a photo of the gate of his house that was open. Telling Yoga if I had time to come, but did not dare to go inside because in his house there were many guests.

Finally I went home, my plan to ask the state of the fetus in my stomach was finally delayed. I didn't manage to meet her mother Yoga.

The next day after school Yoga came to my school, he picked me up to go home to school together and apologized for not knowing yesterday if I came to his house. I forgive him, because all the explanations that Yoga says make a lot of sense.

We went home together. And on the Yoga bike asked me how I was doing. I said I was fine, and said I wanted to see her mother again to ask her something, but Yoga said she was out of town for a week. I left this morning, so I was able to meet him when he came home.

Four weeks since I took the pill, I still feel the same, even I have not managed to meet his mother Yoga, because it turns out he is a very busy person. Finally I asked Yoga to tell his mother, I want to meet.

We finally met two weeks after that. I again met and spoke with Bu Herni four eyes in the same room, his facial expression looking angry.

" Aren't you taking the pill I gave you!", the sentence sounded furious.

I immediately shook my head and said that I had taken the pill from him. I saw Ms. Herni coming back to feel my stomach.

" How can this fetus still survive here if you've taken my pills?".