Mistakes & Selfishness Behind Happiness
Chapter 11

My tears

" I know everything is buk. " My response was when my mother told me.

" I knew from the beginning, of you guys who fight every night, it disturbs my deep sleep.

" Yes and my mother expected it. Ibuk has guessed it from your test scores are destroyed, ibuk know, what problems make your grades can be so, surely it is because of us. "

when I was in Primary School I was not very smart, never a class champion. But I'm not that stupid either. At least my graduation yesterday I was in the top 5. But on the exam yesterday I didn't even get in the top 10.

This time the problem was quite severe for me. Not only did it impact my heart, but its shock was able to mess with my mind, and it broke my value. My father is amazing. My inner.

" I'm sorry mom and dad? it's made you like this. Even you also become our victim, mother also did not expect this to happen in our family nduk. My mother did not intend to hide this matter from you. Sooner or later you will know. Ibuk just wait for the right time to talk to you, so you can accept it with airy chest, as honestly as I do not have to tell you. But this time I have to tell the story. If I parted with my father, would you blame my mother for not being able to maintain this household?.Are you going to hate my mom?. I don't know what your father wants anymore. I was confused for him.

This is your brother from Lampung sending a message. It seems like your father is already in Lampung with that woman. I've tried to talk well with my father, but your father seems to want to be with the woman, it looks like he doesn't love my mother anymore. I'm afraid nduk ,buk can not maintain this household, if one bed there are two loves. Mother is just a normal human being, mother is not willing if you have to share a husband with another woman."

Oh my God what else is this? what other crazy thing is Dad doing? what kind of pain do you want to put on your heart sir? haven't you ruined us enough yet?. Remember, sir, you were also crazy - crazy with your mother, like you are crazy - crazy with her at this time. What did he give you that I couldn't give you? I prefer him who I just knew. Be aware sir before it's too late, before my mother and I leave you.

When it has been hurt, it is not appreciated, it has been made to leave. Then your apologies, will not be able to ask for it back.

So be aware before that happens, because I believe your current behavior,

someday you will regret.

I was silent for a moment, pressing down on the tears so as not to escape my eyes. I don't want my mom to see me cry.

" Buk, don't think about me. If ibuk is no longer strong to undergo this, give up buk, do not be forced. I also can't keep seeing my mother tormented. It seems like you would prefer that woman over us. Do not torment your heart to give me a whole family. For what family if only I was happy but my mother suffered. I've grown up buk, I'm fine. I can understand all this, I quite understand this situation. Like my mother, I was also very disappointed with my father. Do what your mother thinks is right, which will make you happy. "i said.

Actually tightness in my chest makes it hard for me to breathe. I can't cry in front of my mom. I have to be strong, I can't see me crying. What can I do to help you? I feel useless for not being able to help you ease your pain.

" I'm sorry that mother who has not been able to make you happy, has not been able to be a good mother for you. Sorry, you have to feel all this. I promise I will give my best for you. Thank you for being present in mother's life, being the strength of mother," said mother while crying hugging me.

" Thank you, my mother's girl is already a big girl. Yes, already at night, rest yes nduk, mother also want to rest. " Pamit ibuk while kissing my forehead.

After my mother came out of my room, I cried. As much as I can bear so that my sobs and cries, so as not to listen.

I don't want to lose my father, I want this family to be whole. But it seems like this rift is already difficult to repair. I know his real mother still loves him very much. I can't describe how your mother feels right now, if I were a mother maybe I wouldn't be this strong. I don't think with all the behavior of the father, wasted a woman like mother. What kind of woman do you really want ?

I called Afif. Luckily Afif wasn't sleeping. Without speaking I just cried, Afif mas who already understood, calmed me, let me cry until I was satisfied. After a new calm mas Afif asked, actually what happened.

" dude? "calledme.

" Yes what's the deck? is there another problem with Dad? "

" Hu, um mas." Answer me.

" What else did you do that made you cry like this again? "

" it seems like you're crazy, man,"

" haa!! how could that be?"

" I was right, I didn't expect you to go this far. This time, you've gone too far for me. Can - can he do this, is there no me and mother in his heart? at least do you not think about my feelings? I almost went crazy for him."

" What have you done the deck, no kirain the father has improved the same mother? "

" The old man did not come home. I'm sending a message, I'm not calling you up."

" Thinking positively is the deck. Maybe the father is busy working or you call him when he sleeps. "

" But unfortunately the reality is not like that mas, the reality is not as good. The truth is more painful, yes he is busy mas."