Mistakes & Selfishness Behind Happiness
Chapter 17

Obviousness

" Not yet nduk. My mother also misses you. Every time you dream about you, you must wake up immediately. Take good care of yourself - well there huh nduk?"

I already thought buk, your departure is not that simple.

I don't know when you'll leave me.

Honestly, I am very disappointed, because I always try to honestly think that you will come back soon.

But the truth says something else.

Swallowing back the bitterness of this life, I think I'm used to it.

" Yes, take good care of yourself, too. I miss the same mother. Oh, how is buk? if you have not been able to appreciate mother, you should go home, for what ibuk survive when mother is not ignored."

" For the time being you don't understand, there will be a time when you will understand."

My mother had told me, when she arrived in Lampung, it turned out that the affair of the father had been returned to Jogja.

Because my bude did not like the behavior of the father, finally the father forced Bude to return the affair.

Arriving there, still clearly reflected the sadness of the father, because he had to part with the woman. My attitude was very cold to my mother. Mother-in-law was like that too. The arrival of ibuk was greeted with various insults, the presence of ibuk was not expected them.

That's what I meant by following my father there. Maybe I already knew, if it was going to be like this. But still I followed there.

What makes me even more surprised is that the father has changed his status identity to be single, and his plan is that the father will bring the woman to Kalimantan they will marry there.

I really didn't expect you to do anything crazy so far.

Buk, what's your real reason for following you there?

What is the reason why ibuk persists, when the presence of mother is never expected?

What is the reason Ibuk still maintains a relationship, when clearly your arrival has been greeted with insults and insults?

I honestly don't want to go there. I am worried about my mother. There, the mother had no one - who, if the father was not kind to the mother, who would defend him. Which child is willing to see his mother persecuted.

" Nduk ibuk want to tell you, if mom is pregnant, you want a boy. If it could be men. If your mother's child will be a woman, you must agree that you will marry another woman. If your child will be a man then you want to maintain this household. Pray yes nduk later this mother's fetus is male. "

This is crazy anyway. How can you get pregnant quickly, he said again cold war. How can I get pregnant? is it possible that the day of the war is cold but the night is war in bed. My father was really, amazing.

" Is your dad healthy? it's all God's will. I don't think about my father's behavior. We are not gods, who can change a person's gender according to what we want. That's probably just the reason you're open, just looking for a loophole on how he could marry that woman he loves,"

" May ya buk, whatever later the results, it is the best thing that God gives. I'm sure we can be happy without a father,

You have to be strong, right? later when I graduate I will catch up with my mother. "

" Well, whatever the outcome may be our best outcome, God knows better what is best for us, but for now I will still try and pray."

" Yes, I will always pray that God will grant you what you want."

" Yes, you have not eaten, surely you have not eaten, right? "

" Yes buk. I also take care of my health? hopefully, in the stomach is also healthy. I am so happy to hear this news. Yes, yes, yes, yes, assalamualaikum."

" Yes nduk, Wa'alaikum salam. "

I still haven't given up, I'm still looking for a way to marry that woman. I wondered what that woman was like, so I could make you this crazy.

I still think about what Mom said. How can I have a mother boy. I can only pray, I hope everything goes the way my mother wants. If not, maybe God wants to test us for the better. I believe in what God chooses.

I immediately rushed to refresh myself, so as not to think too much about this. It makes me feel more dizzy. There was a behavior that disappointed me.

Day after day I went through with incredible loneliness. Missing the presence of my mother who continued to torment me. Since no one was paying attention to me, even my current appearance was very chaotic and random. Because they are lazy to take care of themselves. In the past when there was always a mother he was the one who reminded and noticed my appearance, but since the departure of mother some of my spirit was lost. To take care of myself, I was very lazy.

Before going to bed I could only cry, so that the pain in this chest was reduced. As longing continued to slash at me, tears were speaking, a sign that the pain I was feeling was so overwhelming.

I still desperately need her figure, to take care of me and take care of me. I missed her bring, her attention, her warm embrace.

But luckily there were still people who were concerned about me, who were always worried about my situation. Well he's one of those people who knows how spoiled and dependent I am, so maybe more or less he knows what I feel now. Sometimes Afif calls me, accompanies me to talk until I fall asleep.

The day after the teenagers in my village held a mountain climbing event and they invited me to participate. Because I have no event, and to fill my time off, I also accept the invitation.

In addition, so that my mind can be fresh, maybe after breathing the air in the mountains can make me calmer again.

Well a good opportunity for me, to know the outside world, because all this time I never knew the outside world.

Count - this is also for the holidays. All this time it has been wrapped up with various problems and sadness makes me stressed.

Hopefully by mingling with friends and being able to breathe the air outside can make my mind calmer and my heart does not grieve continuously.

On the mountain must be a good view, can all spoil the eyes.