Mistakes & Selfishness Behind Happiness
Chapter 64

I waited until Nirwan finished his bath.

" I'm sorry about the old one. How have you not eaten the food?"

" No, wait for me."

" No need to wait, if you are hungry and eat first."

" It would be nice if it was alone - alone, not polite also cook who was invited to eat even eat first."

" Yes, you eat."

" okay."

We enjoyed the food, not talking.

After we finish eating, we continue to talk.

" Have you worked here long?" ask me to start a conversation.

" No, no setaun."

" That's how I applied to work here, hehehe."

" Want to work here? don't deck here till night."

" What's the matter?"

" It's not good for girls to work late into the night."

" A good reason, say no. Oh yeah why Adi has arrived here anyway, was last night the same mas?"

" So early this morning, I told Adi to leave first."

" So good boss yes, I'll just tell the boys the job is done."

" Boss?"

" Yes said Adi mas boss here."

" I've never considered myself like that sek, for me he's working, here there's no boss or anything. If he's on holiday or there's a need to replace me, and vice versa."

" How many people work here?"

" I'm just the same Adi, but if again rame usually call his friend Adi to help."

" Oh, "

" Where are you going, or where are you going? when you get to work a little too late, how?"

" Yes no papa mas, but do not malem - really malem."

" No deck, we muter - muter bentar yuk."

" Yuk, once - time the same way guys, let's guess have a girlfriend, hehehe."

" Therefore have a girlfriend let someone take the road."

" Nobody wants it yet, do you want it? hahaha."

" Want to do it sek."

" Kidding, hehehe. I'm ugly where I want to be, hehehe, I'm on my way."

" Yuk, where do you want to go?"

" Where are you, hahaha."

" Are you sek, a little serious napa? joking mute."

" Hehehe, joking it makes you happy tau mas, make you young."

" Yes good, just kidding continue so do not have to buy - buy skin care already young."

" Beda knows that."

" Yes it's up to you, the handle really let's not fall."

" Yes well bauble. I've fallen for a while, fell for you, hahaha."

" Yes start again."

" Hehehe, sorry."

While chatting casually, with the slow pace of the vehicle while enjoying the scenery.

It's like a couple on a date.

Why am I like this? I so lowered my guard when with him, when I just knew. Is it because of the attention he sometimes gives, so that makes me comfortable. Attention that I have not received from the opposite sex. Though there is no romantic guy, no sweet - sweet.

After being satisfied around, I asked him to immediately drive towards my workplace.

" This is where your work is still far away?"

" No mas, just turn right, continue to crossroad in front of turn left into the alley already up."

" Would you stop by for a meal?"

" It was a few hours ago."

" But it's still full."

" Oh, okay."

***

I'm in front of Ririn's book house.

" Eventually, I was tired all day riding a motorbike."

" Yes, the hunt goes on a break. I'm going straight home."

" What? didn't stop by first? not tired of what?"

" No thanks, would help Adi too, pity her if later rame no one helps ."

" Okay mas, thanks already in the anter, already fed, taken to the streets."

" Same - same sek, if you want to go home - I'll pick you up again, if you want."

" It's very dong. Hahaha free e-jek."

" Heh this you. Yes, I've said assalamualaikum."

" Greetings waalaikum, hearts on the road mas, news if it has arrived."

" Yes." Yeah."

I'll go in and rest for a while before making a matter for the kids tomorrow.

Mas Nirwan well, I'm getting comfortable with him. Is this when I start to open my heart to him. But I'm still scared, scared that I can't control it anymore and like it too deeply.

Follow the flow. Don't think too far either. Not necessarily she likes me.

***

The more days my relationship with Mas Nirwan gets closer. We have been like a lover's relationship, but there are no words between us, maybe because we already understand each other's feelings. The feeling of mutual love, has been clearly illustrated through the attention we alternately give.

Finally after a long time, there was a guy who came back to make me comfortable. Makes me feel loved and missed each other. Makes me able to divert my mind no longer to the past that I have been trying to forget.

Mas Afif, I have found a man who is able to attract my attention from you.

The man who made me feel so beautiful is in love again.

The man who made me feel loved and missed each other.

Mas, I still love you, but this love I keep in the bottom of my heart. This love is still stored neatly, because it is unrequited, it is not able to bloom again.

Even though there's been a new love, I still can't forget you. Tall, handsome, dazzling smile you still cling to my eyes.

Your name, still etched clearly into my heart, cannot be erased or changed.

No one will ever be able to replace you in my heart.

And the new love that is now, is not a substitute.

I put it in a new place, so as not to be in the shadows of the past.

A new love will continue to bloom as long as it still loves, loves and complements each other.

Mom, I've found a new heart patch.

Which makes me finally give up chasing you.

I gave up expecting love from you.

I gave up hoping to be with you.

May I be free from the shackles of love for you, the shackles I created myself because I love you too deeply.

I want to be happy even if I'm not with you.

With a man of my choice, who loves me though not as well as you.

Opening a new page.

I painted it with new colors. Creating a beauty that is different from the past.

Hopefully this is the beginning of my journey, and not repeat the mistakes I once made.

This time, I want this to be the last patch.

Tired of having to move on to another heart.

You have to adapt to a new heart, then it ends and it starts again,

That's not what I want.

If I can be honest, I can choose, I choose not to be heartbroken and feel the pain that reoccurs.

Being left, being dumped, having a clap on one hand, it was very painful.