Mistakes & Selfishness Behind Happiness
Chapter 47

**Crying because of you, again**.

Arriving at the destination, I immediately contacted Afif mas.

He asked me where I was working at.

I really hope to meet her.

I can't wait to see him soon.

In my head was already filled with shadows, that I would meet and walk with him.

It was a clear look of happiness on my face.

But it doesn't go with what I want. The truth did not match what I expected.

All that wishful thinking was gone when I found out from the mas that,

it turns out the distance between where I work and where Afif mas is very far. And impossible to meet, that's what Afif told me.

I'm very disappointed. Actually not papa, anyway can still be traveled by vehicle. Still a long distance to Lampung, right? But still my opinion is meaningless, mas Afif still strongly objected.

Okay, I don't even bother about that anymore, even though I'm very disappointed. I gave up because I didn't want to be selfish. This time I will follow what he wants.

A few days have passed since that incident.

I also started working a few days.

Every time I finish working, I always contact Afif. But strangely he never raised my call. I'm starting to get scared of making it.

How not to lift again, right? where's she? maybe it was busy. Try to send a message, if it is not busy, he will definitely reply.

But still I try to think positive, convince myself that everything will be fine, maybe he's working again. I also sent a message.

📨I

Mas how are you? you're all right, right?

how come the phone never gets picked up? what else is busy? please dong mas if busy at least reply to my message. I'm concerned.

but the result is the same. Days - days my message was unrequited.

Until now there is also no reply, actually where are you mas? what's wrong with you. The more I get here, the more unpleasant I feel.

I tried to contact through his sosmed account, but also there was no response or answer, even though his sosmed account was active. It makes me feel worse. The positive beliefs and thoughts that I had always instilled, finally faded.

From there I was sure that mas Afif had indeed thrown me away.

Pain, disappointment, anger and sadness of course. The last time he called me, he didn't say anything - just saying that he couldn't meet because the distance we worked at was quite far. And he can't see me. I agreed to his decision, without protest.

Because I was very curious and worried about him.

I'm trying to figure it out.

Then I remembered Bima, she must have known something.

Oh yes Bima, he is his best friend. He must know something. Surely mas Bima also know the reason why he rich gini to me. I'll just ask him.

But I don't have her phone number anymore.

Try to ask Mbak Yani once he still keeps his phone number mas Bima.

I also contacted Mbak Yani hoping he still keeps the Bima mas number.

" Mr mbak Assalamualaikum."

" Yes waalaikumsalam Yu, what's wrong with the phone?"

" There is nothing - what do you just want to know mbak still nyimpen mbak number mas Bima yes?"

" It's still, but don't know if it's still active."

" Emang mbak broke up long ago.'

" It's a long time ago, you rarely call, so do not know the latest news right, call only if there is a want."

" Oh, I'm sorry, I'm busy, hehehe."

" There is a secret, hehehe. There's something I want to ask Bima mas mbak."

" Oh, yes I will send, hopefully still active. When are you coming home?"

" It's still planned, hehehe, not yet certain. Later if I don't hear it."

" OKay. I'm waiting for the good news."

" Well, yes, thank you" Mbak."

" Yes." Yeah."

And fortunately, Yani still keeps it. The number is still active, apparently Bima has not replaced it.

I didn't wait long to contact him.

" Hello assalamu'alaikum."

" Wa'alaikumsalam, sorry who is this? "

" I'm mas. Ayu, have you forgotten me? "

" Oh, how's the deck? long time no news? "

" Good news. How are you doing yourself?"

" Good deck too. Adek where now? "

" Working in Jakarta."

" Tumben called what's going on? "

" Want to ask about mas Afif how are you doing now?"

I did not tell about Afif mas to Bima mas. He was afraid he would not be honest.

" O Afif, he's healthy deck. She has a boyfriend now. He also works in Jakarta."

The deg!!!

Like a big rock. My chest is tight, breathing is very difficult.

" Deck, Hello."

" Uh yes. It's good that he's happy. I'm happy."

" So this call just wants to call Afif."

" Hehehe is yes."

" Aren't you ever talking about her deck again?"

" Yes, it's been a while."

" Cie, still love huh? up to belain call me just want to ask Afif news only"

" Not so, I just want to know how it is."

" Oh that. Yes, yes, the deck. They want work. Connect later, huh? "

" okay. Thanks mas. Assalamu'alaikum."

" Na'alaikumsalam."

Tonight will be a long night for me. I looked at the photos of Afif that were still neatly stored in my diary.

My world is broken. The thing I was afraid of finally happened. The fact that I am no longer the love of his heart makes me very sick. I was disappointed in myself for expecting too much. Eventually, it ended in injury.

I didn't expect my dashed hope would leave such a painful wound.

This reality slapped me so incredibly, able to wake me up from my beautiful dreams and face the harsh reality that had welcomed me.

Is this a reply for me? what pain like this did you feel first. Now I understand mas. I deserve it. But why don't you say it from the beginning. Why do you do it now, when I come with a myriad of expectations. I'm here for you. Want to meet and miss you. Why do you give me hope when you already know that you are someone else's partner. I never thought there would be such a thing. I didn't expect you to repay me this way. It hurts too much, even if I accept it. Can I, can I?

Well, I'll try to sincerely live it. Maybe it's time I give up. let fate do the talking.

I'll let you go with him. I hope he can make you happy.