Mistakes & Selfishness Behind Happiness
Chapter 42

First kiss

After receiving advice from mom. My heart and mind are much calmer.

All that is left is guilt. I've been able to accept it, and take this as punishment for me.

I searched for the name Afif in the row of names contacted by my phone. After being able to make peace with my situation. I decided to send a message to Afif. I hope that Afif is still using the same phone number, and has not replaced it.

📨I

Assalamu'alaikum. How are you doing? always healthy, huh? sorry if I'm interrupting. I just wanted to apologize. Sorry to be selfish once again, sorry to hurt you so many times and sorry yesterday still can not calm down. It took me a long time to accept your decision. I will not break our friendship. May we always be friends as before. Don't hate me for hurting you so many times.

*Sorry I am, it turns out I was the one who unknowingly made you go again, I was the one who forced you to hurt me like this. This pain happened because I was selfish.

I'm sorry I hurt you again,

It must be hard for you to forgive me again.

But no papa, I'll take it all.

Because of all this I am the cause.

This is my punishment that I must live with. As hard and painful as I will try to live it sincerely, this is the result that I am old from the seeds that I have planted.

I'm sorry, but I made you go myself.

I will always love and cherish you in my regrets.

I know time can't be turned back.

Then I will gladly accept all this.

Although it's not easy for me to get through.

But I will try with all my sincerity**.

It turns out that Afif still uses the same number, and still wants to reply to messages from me.

📩Mz Afif

Greetings waalaikum, thank God I am good news deck. You yourself how are you?

Sorry for making you hurt by my decision. I'm glad you can now take it. We will always be friends. If there is a problem do not hesitate to tell a story, yes deck?

📨I

I am also good news. If anyone wants to tell me, I'm ready to listen. Hehehe.

📩Mz Afif's.

Yes deck. I worked on the deck. I'm overtime.

📨I

Okay mas. Heart - heart it works.

After I send my message. There was no more reply from him. Maybe he's back at work. Actually I still want to talk more, but I don't want to feel it even grows deeper again.

Besides, now I'm already the boyfriend of Bang Rian, as much as possible keep his feelings and little by little learn to start loving him.

Night as usual, learn the same bang Rafid on the terrace again. While studying, bang Rian came out of the house already in his casual clothes.

" Where are you going? " Tanya bang Rafid.

" Where is that neat, where are you going? " i'm asking.

" Just want to find a meal in front of the deck for a while, what will Rafid buy? "

" Fried chicken as usual om, " replied Bang Rafid.

" What do you want deck? " bang Rian asked me.

" No need to bang, I ate already."

" Truly, don't you want to buy what? "

" Yes bang. Yes already sono brother buruan gih departed. Disturb people from learning. "

" Who is studying outside, "

" It's not wrong who - who, want to find a new atmosphere bang. Sono brother has left. Be careful with the motor. "

" Cie, someone's paying attention. "

" Ihh abangggg!! "

" Yes yes deck brother left. "

I continued my studies again. Until Rian bangs back we're not done yet. Bang Rian entered without greeting us. Maybe he didn't want to bother us who were seriously studying.

" Okay bang, it's done. Tomorrow again, "

" I'm hungry now, I can't wait to eat. Oh yes brother Rafid named Rara also lo rich Rafid first, until now can not read,"

" His time ? one class with brother ? "

" Yes, brother, that's my brother. His son's mother who has a counter beside Ajo's shop."

" Oh whose kid is skinny, white, pretty, short hair huh bang? "

" Yes brother. Can't you if he's studying with us? soon Rafid exams brother, "

" May bang if he wants, but usually learn the rich night gini bang. If it's noon brother keep the dedek. If the exam is soon, it means you have to actually dong learn it. That's a matter of counting - the count is still often wrong, tomorrow learn to count in many yes bang? if you read it, you are already good ."

" So ready brother. Rafid ngikut aja. Yes Rafid wants to eat first, I can't wait, surely my chicken is waiting for sis, kasian ."

" Hahahhahha my brother can. Eh notya just before learning to eat already bang? "

" It's hungry again, brother, "

" Oh my brother, look ha, brother's stomach is already rich clown no, do not fat - fat napa bang? "

" But it's empty, brother. Make learning just now. "

" Hahahahaha there is a brother, be aware of the later rich chubbiness of the ball, "

" Tuh big brother is fat now too. Hehe"

" This is his body contains bang, not fat, hehehe"

" Same time brother. Hehehehe yes already

Rafid comes in first, brother. "

" Yes bang. " I replied in a fit of anxiety while randomizing the hair bang Rafid.

Studying with rafid bang, there is happiness for me. Besides I love teaching, I can also learn patience and learn many things. The development of Bang Rafid is a hidden pride for me. What I taught turned out to be acceptable by Bang Rafid.

Well learning with bang Rafid is very entertaining. Because I love this job, so I really enjoy it.

After Rafid left, I moved to sit on the side seat of the house. I look at the charm of the sky tonight, a perfectly round moon decorated with a sea of stars, what a perfect view. When looking at the vastness of the sky, my heart felt relieved as if there were no problems and burdens of the mind. That's why I like to sit looking at the sky at night.

I felt a hand touch my shoulder, it surprised me, so it woke me from my daydream.

" Oh brother, I'm surprised. Next time don't worry about it? "

" See who daydreams? but what is this boyfriend of mine? " ask the brother who will be sitting next to me.

" Who's dreaming anyway bang? "

" So brother came just didn't realize it, did it not dream his name? still thinking about ex-fuck? "

" Not really bang, "

" Yes also no papa on deck. Do you know for sure adek can't ya lupain him? "

" Huh, to forget it I can never, not only him, everyone who has ever been present in my life, I will not be able to forget it bang, what else has known for a long time. But indeed I no longer think of her bang, still focus on seeing the moon the same star, very beautiful tonight. "

" Beauty is good too. That's a pretty moon - pretty far away. If adek is already pretty close again can brother hug - hug. Hehe"

" Apaan is bang. "

" It is, isn't it? "

" Yes, it's up to you. "

" The deck entered yok is already night, "take brother while leaning his head on my boat.

" Ngajak enter even nyender anyway bang, brother tired huh? "

" Yes very tired deck, today a lot of work. "

" Duh kasianannya my brother."

" Yes hug geh, let's get tired."

" Ihh want, right brother already alone how can I hug? "

" Grand stood up first."

I followed my brother's orders, I stood up and my brother pulled my hand so I could sit on his lap, I said.

" Don't gini ah bang, I'm heavy, I'm fat."

" Just a deck. Adek is not heavy, said who fat? " brother's hands while hugging my waist and then bringing his face close to my chest.

" She's ticklish, don't put it down, will you? said bang Rafid I'm fat."

" Fat adek not fat, brother likes adek rich gini, with a height adek that so adek full. "

" What is it? "

" Yes, adek pretty, brother likes. "

" I'm a dreadlocks."

" really adek. Dek loi brother, "

" Yes bang, What? " i asked while looking down a bit at my brother's face, because I was on my brother's lap, so I was taller than my brother.

My brother held my nape and kissed my lips. I was surprised to make my eyes perfectly round.

" Sister what the hell, that was my first kiss, brother. "

" Oh yeah? well, it's an honor to take your first kiss."

" Yes, my brother stole it. Already ah I want to go in, same brother."

When he was about to get down from his lap, he held me back, and he kissed me again. This time not just a kiss but with *******.

Brother biting my lips, it made me open my mouth. Brother's tongue immediately broke through dancing deftly there. I still couldn't keep up with the game but I really enjoyed the game.

Brother's hand started to jail fingered there - here. Groping my beautiful hill from the outside of my shirt, made me tickle, this is my first time.

Because not satisfied just fingered outside the shirt, his brother's hand slipped into the shirt. As the hand slipped in and felt my stomach, I pulled my hand to stop the activity.

I'm starting to run out of breath. But my brother hasn't let go of his support yet. I had to bite his tongue.

" Cock got bitten, sick. "

" My breath abis bang." I replied still with unordered breath.

" That means having to exercise often so that you can set the deck breath, hehehe.

" What a bang, not so clear. "

" Geek if you are embarrassed again gini, funny tau, so anxious, so want to bite again. Again, yeah, a moment? "

" There is no more - anymore, embarrassed when viewed by people. "

" Nobody saw, nobody here but us. Again on deck? "

" No bang."

" Who's wrong with adek's lips. My brother is addicted."

" Reason. Turunin geh bang earlier said tell me to come in. "

" Bentar first, why was my brother's hand pulled? "

" Let's not be clear. Wrong who hands where - where can not be inem. Amused bang."

" Yes that's the deck's natural instinct. Haha. "

" Yes down first geh."

" Okay, slow down the deck. Yes, I got in. Later even brother can not live anymore."

" Haha. Sukurin, I'm already in. good night brother." I said as I ran away from my brother.

" See tomorrow deck. "

He chased me and hugged me from behind.

" Good night is also deck. Have a good rest, have a good dream. Don't be sad anymore, you don't like to look sad. "

Then I turned to face my brother.

" Thank you for making sure I'm always smiling."

My brother kissed my forehead.

" As long as it's the same brother I won't let this beautiful lady of mine grieve. Thanks for the kiss deck. Haha. "

" Hadn't done that, I'm ashamed."

" Well why your tease is cool deck. Haha. "

" Get in yeah bang. "

" Please, my daughter. "

I entered with a smile on my lips. Touching my lips, I smiled - my own smile was not clear.

The sensation that my brother gave me was still left making my heart continue to pound.

My brother gave me a pleasure I had never felt before. A pleasure I should not have enjoyed. In my heart I did not justify what I just did. But the sensation that I had gained dismissed all such thoughts, and justified the mistake that I had begun to slowly commit. Until it gets me hooked.

There I had not yet begun to realize that I had unwittingly entered a black hole.