Mistakes & Selfishness Behind Happiness
Chapter 13

Ibuk's departure

" Ibuk will follow the father to Lampung nduk, "

Those were the words of my mother that instantly made me speechless. I was confused how to react. I really didn't think I was going to make this decision.

I decided to follow my father to Lampung. What do you plan to do, asking for clarity on relationship status? what is fighting marriage?. Only my mother can give me answers. But I choose not to ask, let him do what he wants. Let your mother do what she thinks needs to be done. I have no right to question. Between the end or the end both options are the same - equally painful.

" You're testing soon, right? so I can't take you, "

" When did mom leave?? " tanyaku.

" Fast."

" Then me? "

" There's a crap that'll take care of you,"

" How long was Mom there? "

" It's just for a second. " My mother's answer, which I did not know was truth or a lie, was to comfort me. I did not dare to stare at my mother, I was afraid that I would not be able to hold back my tears.

" If it's your decision, then go buk. I'd be fine if mom only went for a few days. I'll take care of myself, don't worry about me." Answer me with a smile.

" I know you must be disappointed with ibuk nduk, I'm sorry ibuk, I have to take this decision, actually I don't have to leave you. But I have to go there."

" Yes, I know. I'm not papa buk. Go, do what you think is right. I will always support you, "

" Thank you nduk. I understand ibuk. I'm sorry I had to leave you here. I'll be right back."

" I'll wait for you here buk." Answer me with a smile.

" Take care of yourself while you are not there, remember to be able to maintain your honor, I decided to leave you, because I believe, this mother girl is good at taking care of herself, she said, I believe in you, do not be disappointed ibuk.Seradain ibuk ya? "

" Yes buk, I also take care of myself. I'm sorry tomorrow I can't take you, I leave in the morning, right?"

" Yes ibuk leave in the morning, must learn so that the value is better yes, later there is no ibuk even enek - good is not learning."

" Yes buk, mother tomorrow heart - heart huh?"

" Yes nduk."

" I'm definitely gonna miss you so much buk."

" I'm sure I'll miss you, too, so take a break this night, '" she hugged me for a moment, then kissed me on my forehead before she left me alone in the room.

Don't ask me again how I feel right now. Angry, disappointed, sad mixed into one. It's the first time I've been separated from my mother, maybe for a long time.

I was disappointed that my mother would prefer to follow my father there, leaving me here. But after I thought again, it was selfish. Maybe I want to go there to solve the problem. Maybe my mother is also tired because this problem does not always have a bright spot. Maybe it was my mother who was very hurt.

God, what else is this ordeal? can I be without him? I still need her.

Buk ? why can't you leave me alone here, why not take me with you,?

It's very heavy for me. All this time I was so pampered and dependent on my mother. This is the first time I will be away from my mother. I honestly don't want to leave, I still need my mom here. But on the other hand, maybe this is a decision that I have to make. inevitably, I have to live it. Even if I knew, it wouldn't be easy. I would, if this was what I had to sacrifice for her happiness.

I was tired of crying until I fell asleep. When the dawn Adhan woke me up, why I was so lazy to wake up.

" Nduk let's get up first. It's dawn and we'll sleep again. Tomorrow if the exam does not forget the dawn straight learn do not go back to sleep again."

" It's gonna be open any minute."

" Wake up now, nduk, noon hunt. Habits are hard to build. Tomorrow if my mother does not exist, if you do not learn to wake up alone, you can - you do not continue to school because of bad luck. Let's get up." That's my mother's nagging every morning, if I'm hard to wake up.

Tomorrow who's gonna remind me of these little things? who will build me? I will be very lonely and lose you. I will miss mother's scolding like this.

" Yes, it's awake."

" It is accustomed that after dawn do not sleep again, learn to wash clothes or clean up the house. Learn to be independent, you are big, do not continue to depend on the same mother. As long as mother goes you should be able to take care of yourself and your own needs, do not bother the waste, the work of waste is already a lot."

" Yes buk."

" Must learn to wake up in the morning by yourself. If you're on holiday try to learn to cook."

" Yes buk.

Mother's nagging makes me not sleepy, I just say his long nagging. Maybe because I am worried about you. I have been so dependent on him all this time.

Why did I know that tomorrow my mother was leaving, some of my spirit was gone. I was lazy to get out of the room, yes even though mom had been nagging from this morning. But why did I refuse to get out of my bed. I just play cell phones and laze around. I don't mind my mother's nagging. Let me enjoy my sorrow now, for tomorrow I must focus on taking the test. I need to be able to improve my grades, I need to be better than yesterday.

I will miss your nagging so much. This house would be deserted without you.

All day I was in the room. Just go out to eat and shower. I ignored the mother who had been nagging. I still can't accept that tomorrow my mother is gone.

The morning as it could. I did not eat breakfast today because of the fast. Yes, today is my exam, today is also the day of my mother's departure. Today's exam is the toughest.how not? I was sad at my mother's stay, but I also had to focus on doing the exam.

Because of school, so I can't take you to the terminal. At least I didn't cry watching my mother go in person.

I can only let you go buk, only with this can I help your problems, hopefully with your arrival there will be a bright spot for our family. Actually heavy buk I let you go. But for the good of our family then go, happy fighting, forgive your son who can not accompany you. I will always pray for you. Hearts on the road. Come back, I'll wait for you here.