Mistakes & Selfishness Behind Happiness
Extra part 6

Arriving at Ririn's house.

" Assalamualaikum."

" Neylorda."

" Are you not asleep?"

" Not waiting for my dad to come home yet."

" Oh, you're not coming home at this hour?"

" He said overtime, you brought your own motorbike, you bought a new motorbike?"

" No buk, that's a friend's motorbike, because no one's coming here."

" Yes already there rest first, must be tired right, bude has also slept."

" Yes buk, I rest first ya buk."

" Oh yeah, if you haven't eaten, eat first."

" It was already buk."

From noon I have not eaten anything. Having fun with Nirwan mas makes my appetite disappear.

I cleaned myself first, before laying on the bed.

Today is very long and exhausting enough to drain the emotions and tears.

Before falling asleep I checked the phone first, it turns out there were many missed calls from Nirwan mas.

Actually I didn't intend to call back, but again the fear of being left behind by him encouraged me to call him.

I was so afraid to make her even more angry, because it could make her leave me. In my mind there was only her, not to leave her, and I had to marry her. He has to take responsibility for my crown that I have given him.

That is why, I am willing to go as low as - low, even I do not hesitate to beg for his love and mercy. So I can stay by his side.

" Hello Assalamualaikum."

" Waalaikumsalam's. Have you arrived?"

" It's been."

" Why don't you wait for me to come home?"

" Because I don't know, it's gone until when. I'm sorry I brought the bike, tomorrow I'm back."

" You just don't wear it, papa. Oh yes I want to go home, I'll call you when I get home."

Deg !! I immediately remembered the theme message earlier. It reminds me of the pain in my heart again.

" Want another party, bring another woman?"

" No, it's my friend who didn't bring me."

" Halah where there is a cat that will be silent if in front of him there is a fish in the feed."

" Geez, ask Adi, I'm not going along. I'm just drinking."

" Well drink a lot, let it go crazy."

" Yesterday's last promise. Tomorrow will not be again."

" Don't promise if you can't make it right, just be disappointed."

" I'm really, really, the last promise of yesterday. If you don't believe it."

" Well, is the love and affection I give you lacking? what haven't I given you? I gave it all to you. Do you know why? because I love you, dear! Please dong mas if you are also dear, do not lie to me, you know I again imagine you are making out with other women, it makes me sick. Please don't do things I don't like. I hate being lied to the most."

My tears broke again, when I remembered the thing earlier, my chest felt very tight, what else mas Nirwan did not want to admit his mistake.

" Okay, I'm not going home tonight. And believe me, I won't get drunk anymore."

Even to apologize, you don't want to. What do I mean to you actually, am I just an outlet of your lust.

" Yourself?"

" Yes sek, besides there are also stalls still buyers. Kasian Adi if I live alone."

We chat until late at night, well this problem is finished just like that, without any words of apology and just passed like nothing happened.

" Oh yeah, I don't like it when you upload your photos on the sosmed."

" Lha why?"

" That's a lot of his plays."

" Are they friends - old friends of mine, in Lampung."

" I don't like it anyway."

" Yes yes."

" Every day you have to send a photo."

" ha? make what?"

" Just send it anyway."

" Yes,"

" Yes, it's late at night, I help Adi close the shop first."

" Yes, I want to sleep too."

" Have a good rest, sweet dreams."

" Yes, love you."

" Love you to."

***

The next morning after taking a shower I tidied up my appearance, I suddenly became a model, posing as beautiful as possible in front of my phone camera, in order to get the best possible results. Several times I took pictures changing different styles.

After seeing the results then I chose and sorted out the picture that I thought was pretty enough to send him.

I always want to give my best to my loved ones.

How to tumben yes my phone is not lifted, usually directly lifted not use for long.

My mind drifted to where, my feelings became chaotic again. Yesterday's events scared me so much that it made me think that I didn't - no.

But I need to stay calm, because I still have to work. I can't be affected by this. Don't interrupt my work.

When I entered the room where the children studied, apparently many had come.

Their smiles to me, made my heart calm and cooler. They were able to distract me from the thoughts that bothered me.

I worked as usual until it was over.

After the kids came home I checked my phone, before I continued my work.

There were no messages or missed calls from Nirwan. I tried calling her again, but still not picked up.

This child where from the morning my message is not answered, the phone is not picked up. He is not usually like this.

I was really worried and scared too.

I immediately finished my task, and decided to nyamperin mas Nirwan into his stall.

After completing my task, I gave Ririn permission to return the bike to a friend's house.

I immediately drove, towards the stall where Mas Nirwan was. Arriving there, the lesehan was very quiet, it was closed. When I want to get into the back room, the door is locked.

I was getting scared and worried, finally I called Adi to ask the whereabouts of mas Nirwan.

" Hello Yu what's wrong?"

" Where are you?"

" I, I'm in the shop."

The deg!! adi's lies made me more anxious, my mind less and less.

" In you don't like me, please be honest with me."

" Yes, I'm at Yu's shop."

" I'm in the shop now."

Adi was silent for a long time.

" All right, I'm honest, I'm home."

" Then Nirwan?"

" He's at his house."

" I'm calling from the morning not picked up."

" Maybe still sleep."

" Yet another party?"

" Yes,"

" Take a woman?"

" Yes." Yeah."

" Are Nirwan drunk?"

" Slight."

" What time is the girl there?"

" Till morning. Please don't tell Irwan that I said it."

" Yes." Yeah."

I just decided on my call. I sat on the floor with a sobbing, my tears breaking like rain.

Why are you the same with me, why are you doing this again, why are you lying. What's my fault?

I have to go to Nirwan's house, I have to ask for an explanation.

Maybe this is when I'm gone, maybe it's time I let you go. Well let the mistake I have done this I consider as my punishment because I have done something that is not appropriate to do.

In the future how I will accept it.

This time I decided to end my relationship with Mas Nirwan.

The pain he gave me, I could no longer bear it. All this time I've been trying to give up, love him sincerely, give what he wants, but it turns out that it can't make him love me, maybe from the beginning he just wanted to use me.

I saw my phone, the time showed at 17:30, I immediately gasped towards the Nirwan mas house.

Along the way I tried to stay focused on driving a motorcycle, so that nothing unwanted happened. To stay focused, when the heart is overblown and the mind is runyam, it is not an easy thing.

Apparently the weather was very supportive not only my heart was cloudy, the sky was pouring rain. Well I can cry as much, along the way. My tears trickled along with the rain that swept my sad face.

No matter what, the clothes were soaked. Cold because of wet clothes in the wind I did not feel. Want it just fast to the destination. Quickly solve the problem, and go home.

That's what keeps spinning in my head.

After arriving in front of the house mas Nirwan, with a chaotic appearance, wet clothes, moist eyes, shivering body, lips turn blue from the cold.

I knocked on the door.

I knocked on it a few times, before Nirwan opened the door.

Mas Nirwan opened the door, I saw his face a little surprised, not because of seeing my appearance or shocked because he was caught lying.

Seeing his cold face, my tears came back, I threw the key to his motorbike that hit his chest.

Mas Nirwan just kept quiet, without saying a word.

My anger began to rise.

" Why do you give hope that in the end you will only be disappointed? I told you that your goal is to play, don't make me love you. I also said never promise me anything if you can't keep it in the end.

What's my fault? besides the treasure I have given to you, if my treasure is not, I am not the son of a rich man.

I love you so much, I love you so much. Butwhat? by lying you lie to me again and again. What did you think of me all this time? I'm just limited to the outlet of your lust, right?. I didn't think you were this bad, could hurt me like this, was satisfied right?. After you made me fall in love, you threw me away. It hurts, it hurts so much. Now, I'm tired I've given up, whatever you're gonna do I don't care anymore. You're free now. I'll go, thanks for the happiness all this time. May you always be happy."

After I revealed what was in my heart, I immediately turned around wanting to leave the place. I did not want to wait for an answer or explanation, I just wanted to go home to calm my heart.