Mistakes & Selfishness Behind Happiness
Chapter 46

Go again

Getting together with my beloved family is one of the things that makes me so happy.

Things I often forget to be grateful for.

He was lulled with happiness, forgetting that it was His gift.

I'm sorry God, though,

Often lulled by the pleasure you give.

May you keep us and bring us together to always be reunited.

I decided to stay home for a while while giving up longing, while waiting for a new job vacancy.

I was home for a year, but I never got a job. Actually many have offered, but the father always does not agree, for this reason it is. I was made dizzy and furious with my father, but yes it is, maybe that's how he got me a job that he thought was good for me.

As long as I'm home, I don't expect and I don't expect, Afif even calls me often and it keeps us close again. At first I didn't think he would call me again.

I'm glad he came back and still remembers me. I thought she was happy with her new boyfriend, so she forgot about me.

I still remember her phone number, I deliberately did not contact her, other than because I was afraid to disturb her new relationship, also because I wanted to focus on forgetting the feeling that was there for her. I was also afraid to hear the fact that she was already happy with her lover.

I didn't think he'd call me again. There is a great sense of happiness, because basically I still love and miss him a lot.

This time I promised myself I would try not to disappoint him again. Trying to keep her heart from getting hurt.

Someone offered me a job in Jakarta. But father would not allow.

I tried to convince my father to give me permission.

" Mister let me work?"

" No need to go, it's far away. Find the one near the house."

" Where is sir? yesterday there was only deket, you also did not give permission to leave."

" The decet if you can go home, let you not be separated from the eyes of the father."

" Apaan sir, Ayu already big, already can be differentin which is good and which is not. Besides, if work in a place where people might be able to wander as they please. If the work in place of people can not go out anywhere sir, what else is the work to keep the same care for a sick grandmother."

" O Father knows, his name is also in the city."

" Ayok lah sir, want to until when Ayu locked up in a rich house gini, I also want rich menmen who have been at work, can buy what they want. I believe you can meet my needs. But if I work that money to meet my needs it can buy another. I'm big sir, don't want to keep ngrepotin. Will I be forever dependent on my father? I promise to take care of myself. Yesterday right from work, also back okay right, it's proof that I can take care of myself sir."

You just shut up for a moment, maybe you're thinking.

" Yes if indeed your determination has been unanimous, if it really wants you, sir let you go. But remember your promise, you must be able to take care of yourself. Don't break your trust. If you hear the news that is not careful, do not expect you can get out of the house. Your self-worth is important."

" Yes sir yes. Thanks for your permission, I'll remember your message."

I really don't believe in me, have a guy, how to try weird.

Maybe if I go back and forth pregnant must be directly hung by the father, ih serem also yes hehehe. May not be so rich.

With persuasion and seduction, finally he gave his permission.

I insisted on leaving not because of his job. But by going to Jakarta hopefully I can meet him.

Since you gave me permission, I decided to leave tomorrow.

While packing, my mother came to help me.

" Are you sure you're going to go nduk?"

" Yakin buk's. I wish I could meet him."

" You haven't given up? "

" Not yet. My feelings are too deep for him. The time turned out to be unable to fade the existing love.This miss torments me buk. coming back, makes me restore my hope as well."

" Don't expect too much. Don't love her too much. I'm afraid you'll be disappointed."

" That's a risk I have to face. I'm ready for him. Before fate unites him with anyone else, I won't give up."

" Yes if that's your decision. You too can decide your own path. I always pray that everything you want can be granted."

" Thank you buk. I also want to go home nengokin soberah. Who knows, I might go back there. I miss everyone there, my brother and my best friend."

" Ibuk also want to go back there nduk, have been here for years mother."

" Wish that later Ayu can bring mom home ya buk,"

" It must be nduk. Do not forget to always tell. You have to take care of yourself."

" Yes buk. I will always remember."

" I'll miss you again, nduk, just a little while at home already want to go again."

" What was just a minute. It's been a year more buk. I also miss my mom a lot. Yes although I can not give you a lot of money, at least by working, I can buy my own needs without inconveniencing mother. Can reduce a small load of ibuk's life."

" He doesn't take you as a burden, I'm sorry, I can't always give you what you want. Hopefully you feel at home there, I also do not expect money from you. With you can buy what you want, mom is happy to nduk. "

" I also don't want to ask for something that can trouble you, while Ayu can already find money to buy it herself. May Ayu be at home yes buk, so that Ayu can also replace buying what I want."

" Amin, mother will always pray for the best for you, remember always the message of mother, take good care of yourself. "

" Yes buk, thank you. "

As usual, a warm hug from my mother becomes the beginning of our separation. Before leaving I really like to spoil the same mother.

Again, I went to a new place.

A place where no one knows me and no one knows me.

I left with hope.

I can meet him who I miss so much for so many years.

Until that feeling made me forget all the possibilities of what awaited me in front of there.

I forgot that there was a chance that I could not meet him.

My hope blinded me with all the possibilities.

I was too confident in the love I brought.

I also forgot that it would hurt as much as I felt disappointed, when I would not be able to meet him.