Mistakes & Selfishness Behind Happiness
Chapter 36

The end of our story

At lunchtime it was true that my phone vibrated the sign of an incoming call, and I'm sure it must have been from Afif mas. But I didn't pick it up, because I happened to eat with the boss.

After the boss mom returned to the office, it must have been her lunch hour was also over. I decided to call him tonight.

As usual, I accompanied the grandpa to play on the terrace. It just so happens that Rian doesn't know where he is from.

" Tumben Yu noon - noon is on the terrace? "

" Ihh often om. Who rarely see. "

" Cooking anyway? maybe I'm back at work already? "

" It could be. Where's that om from? isn't it the break is over, is it? "

" By buying cane ice. Coincidentally, there is no work to relax. I bought them all for you. "

" Thank you, often - often yes, hahaha. "

" That's what you want Yu. "

And we laugh together.

Rian added another new friend to me. Now I'm familiar with om Rian. If mas Afif again overtime and om rian fit again at home, he accompanied me to chat on the front porch.

The next night after completing my assignments with Bang Rafid, I decided to contact Afif.

" Assalamu'alaikum mas? "

" Greetings adek waalaikum, "

" What else is mas? I'm not disturbing? "

" Don't bother the deck, this is again a deck break, adek again what? "

" miss you again. Hehehe "

" Cieee, is there anything missing?"

" Don't miss you? "

" I miss you so much too deck. "

" Want to meet. "

" Patience on deck? "

" Sometimes I like to be tired of being patient but I want to do it again, the circumstances that force me to be like this."

" Yes, I understand. Surely one day we will meet. "

" Am I going to work there? "

" I can't, I don't ngizinin, here the weight of the work deck, I can't bear."

" But we can meet. "

" Yes, but I don't want you to work here. "

" Yes yes. "

And that was my whole night with him.

I haven't felt like I've been working for months at a people's place. Sometimes when feeling tired is amazing there is a sense of not feeling at home want to go home. But remembering my goals and dreams made me habitually endure.

And the longer you get used to it, there's a sense of comfort too.

My love relationship is still straight.Sometimes Afif is also busy with his friends. I didn't realize I was getting along with Rian, he always gave me more attention. And honestly it makes me comfortable.

I forgot to tell Afif that I was shopping today. I never thought this mistake made tonight would be the worst night. Either because of this problem or just as an excuse.

While on the way home, while holding the grandpa who was sleeping fast, I exchanged messages with mas Afif.

📩Mz Afif

Good night deck, what else? why hasn't the phone been picked up?

📨I

Again in the car, the way home.

📩Mz Afif

Where did it come from?

📨I

, Usual mas, from shopping. Sorry I forgot the Ngabarin.

📩Mz afif

What is your commitment deck in a relationship with me?

N**ah lo, this means what try, why arrive to discuss the commitment. Tumben nanya seriously rich gini? I don't feel good, though.

I was amazed by it, and kept asking questions in my heart. Because daydreaming, and busy guessing makes me long to reply. I haven't been able to reply to the message. Afif has sent another message.

📩Mz Afif

It seems you are not serious about our relationship. We'd better end up here on deck, than we're getting hurt.

I read the message, rounding my eyes in disbelief. Repeatedly I read it hoping I read it wrong. But even a thousand times the results are still the same, I did not read wrong.

Like a dagger, my heart hurts. Fortunately my tears did not go away. And luckily I remember that I was with the boss again. I can't help sharing the questions I want to ask. Looks like I'll have to pay it back when I get home. I want to get home quickly, solve this problem. I felt like the car was going very slowly. Until it feels so long.

I looked at the side of the road outside the window, coincidentally it was raining but not too heavy.

I opened the window glass, I send my head to the side of the window, so that my face was swept by rain even if it was just a little. Wishing the cold water would wake me up from this painful nightmare, but no matter how much rain washed over my face, I could not wake me up, for it was not a dream, but the reality that inevitably I have to swallow.

What does this message mean. I was hoping you'd just write it wrong, or maybe your friend was a prankster. I know all this time maybe I've let you down a lot. Even so but I love you so much, love you so much. What exactly was my fault this time? until you break the heart that loves you.

If I'm wrong, then talk, which part did I make a mistake?

If I'm bad, then tell me, which part should I fix?

If love and love are lacking,

then speak slowly, then I will add as much as you want.

If there is a misunderstanding, then speak up for sure I will explain.

If you don't believe me, speak up, then I'll be happy to prove it.

What's my apology for not being able to make up for your pain just yet?

What was my mistake that still hurt your heart?

Honestly, I don't know, what words have I said that make you sick, until you decide to end our relationship?

I also do not know, what things I have done to make you disappointed in me, so you can hurt me with your word break up?

Are you not happy with me until you want to throw me away?

Do I no longer deserve to be next to you, until you kick me out and want to find my replacement?

Where is your darling going for me?

Where can the love you give be lost?

You really confuse me with all this. I hope you can provide an explanation that I can accept, why you suddenly want to end our relationship. Give me a reason that I can accept, so that I can release you with sincerity and airy chest.