I Fall in Love Wrong
Chapter 40 Belief in the Household

Trust is one thing to have in a relationship. If that trust has been violated, then that trust is simply gone. 

Can a relationship be without trust? Especially in household relationships. Isn't it with that trust that the couple will become more comfortable?

Now the trust given by Velicia is not only cracked, but has been shattered into pieces so it is difficult to put back together despite using a super powerful adhesive.

Velicia's hand pushed her husband's body to let go of his embrace. It's just that Velicia's power is not comparable to Ferdi's. That hug could still be defended by Ferdi.

Velicia's energy is already very weak, making her just resigned to being in the arms of her husband who is currently very hated.

"What's your reason for doing that, Mom?" asked Velicia who was still in Ferdi's arms in a soft voice.

Ferdi just kept silent by closing his eyes. He seemed to not know the direction of his wife's conversation.

"Let go!" velicia exclaimed with a trembling voice.

Ferdi still hugged Velicia, even now his embrace was tighter as if he could not let go of his wife to go far away from her.

"Tell me or let me go forever" Velicia said in a choked voice and her tears returned without excuse.

Ctaaaar!

Like being struck by lightning, Ferdi's heart stopped beating when Velicisa said she would leave his side for good.

"I beg Ve. Don't leave me" said Ferdi in a voice that sounded sad.

"Tell me! What's your reason for doing that?" velicia asked back in a higher voice even though her voice trembled withstanding her cries.

Slowly Ferdi broke his embrace. He felt he could no longer dodge.

Velicia's on the patient's bed. Ferdi sat on the bed facing his wife.

"I'm sorry" Ferdi said, starting their conversation after being calm and facing each other.

Velicia looked up at her husband with teary eyes. Her tears welled up in her eyes until if she only blinked once, they would surely fall unstoppably flowing again.

"That's not what I want to hear" Velicia said cynically.

"I'm not having an affair" Ferdi said as he looked into Velicia's eyes as if he wanted to reassure her.

Velicia smiled bitterly at the word cheating coming out of Ferdi's mouth. Then he said,

"I don't care if Mas Ferdi cheated or not. I just want to know why Mas Ferdi had a vasectomy, even though Mas knows that Mom and I really want a child in our household," velicia said with a restraining anger and suppressing her sadness so that it was clear that anger was coming from her eyes.

Ferdi's heart seemed to be pierced by a dagger hearing a sharp sentence spoken by his wife.

Undoubtedly, his heart is very sad and sick at this time when he heard that his wife no longer cares about him, especially about the allegations of his affair. 

"Sorry," Ferdi apologized again by lowering his head so as not to see the anger clearly visible in his wife's eyes.

"Sorry, sorry. Why is it that only an apology can come out of your mouth?" 

Velicia could no longer hold back her anger and tears. Her tears were rough. After that he inhaled his breath deeply and took it out slowly from his mouth to suppress his anger.

"I'm not ready yet" said Ferdi without looking at his wife, she still lowered her head.

"Why?" velicia asked with tears dripping back on her cheeks.

"I'm afraid that I won't be able to please our son" replied Ferdi in a soft voice and his head still bowed, not daring to look at his wife.

Velicia smiled wryly at the answer from her husband. Then he said, 

"Why should we get married if we don't want to have children?" 

"Because I don't want to lose you," replied Ferdi quickly and reflexively he looked at his wife to reassure her.

"Why get married if we don't have children when our condition is fine? And what is this reason? It doesn't make any sense to me. While Mas himself knows my desire and Mother is very big to present children in the middle of our family. You're selfish!" velicia said with a breath of breath that vented her heartache.

Ferdi closed his eyes again. It felt like he didn't want to be in this kind of condition because this wasn't what he wanted.

"I. i.e.," Ferdi could not tell his wife the real reason.

"Why? Not ready? When is Mas Ferdi ready to have children?" velicia asked with her trembling lips holding back her cries.

Ferdi sighed. Now he felt he could no longer hide it. He stared at his wife's eyes intensely, and then he said,

"I'm traumatized."

Velicia widened her eyes to hear the word trauma coming out of her husband's mouth.

Velicia just kept quiet, she did not chim in on her husband's words. But, from the look in her eyes she told her husband to continue his words.

"Huuufffftttt..," Ferdi sighed heavily before he again said the reason.

"Actually my father left my mother while I was still in her womb. The reason I know is that my father's fate changed when my mother was holding me. My father's business went out of business and everything he worked for was fruitless. He was bankrupt in every single attempt. And the word that comes out of people's mouths is, I'm the son of the unlucky bearer," Ferdi said with a bitter smile remembering what had once happened to him.

Velicia was shocked to hear what her husband said. He did not expect at all if the reason did not want to have children for that reason.

"Since childhood, I've always been everyone's subject. Even their kids my age don't want to play with me" Ferdi said, smiling bitterly about his childhood.

Without making a sound, Velicia held Ferdi's hand to strengthen him.

"The little guy has no friends. And I'm alone everywhere. At home I was alone because Mom was busy making money for our living expenses and my school. In my home area, of course, all do not allow their children to play with me. And they made fun of me as a son of a bitch. It all went on to school. I just vent my loneliness by learning and being determined to be successful and proud of my mother" Ferdi said.

"Then, why don't you want to have children? Mas can already prove that Mas is not the son of an unlucky carrier. The proof is that Mother now has several costs and Mas Ferdi is now the head of a division in a private bank. What should Ferdi worry about?" 

Velicia was already unable to hide her curiosity. He asked what he wanted to ask from now on.

"What if our son feels what I used to feel? And you know if the present bullying is very scary compared to my time, right? I don't want our son to feel that" Ferdi said with a few tears in his eyes.

Velicia immediately hugged her husband. She could not bear to see her husband's tears dripping down in front of her.

"Mas, can I ask you something?" velicia said as she hugged her husband's body.