The Essence Of The Darkness
Episode 65: Faithful or Traitor

Xavier's shock seemed real, and his expression darkened when he received Elana's pity-filled gaze. She looked at Elana vigilantly, while her lips opened to ask.

“What do you mean, Lana?” ask her with a calm voice full of calculations.

Elana's wide eyes watched Xavier's defensive expression, and she finally voiced out what she had in mind to explain clearly.

“All the offers you made to me. It was like a continuous goal you always gave to people who meant something to Akram, right? If I pass that one, then you'll give me the next harder test, keep going until you decide whether I meet your standards or not, do I deserve to live or have to die in your hands …. Don't you realize that you treat me almost as much as you treat Akram's enemies who invite you to cooperate? You tested them to see how far they were able to hurt Akram, and then you took them out?” Elana watched Xavier's expression intently, finding an almost invisible crack from the perfect mask worn by the man. “For so long I thought that you did it because.. because you hate Akram so much, but now... I so think that you did it because you... love Akram very much.”.

Silence stretched between them. Between Xavier's unread silence, combined with Elana's patience to wait.

Xavier seemed to doubt. But, after taking a pause to set his heart, Xavier raised his head, the man finally decided to take off his mask completely and looked at Elana with the full of unbearable pain that he had been hiding all along.

“I've said no, Lana? That the boundary between hate and love is very thin,” he said then like a confession.

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"Mr Akram, I get periodic reports from your men who are guarding there. Until now, Mr. Xavier had locked himself in the treatment room with Elana. But, according to the data infusion entered digitally, the serum administration process takes place smoothly according to the program. That means, right now Mr. Xavier is doing nothing but sit down and talk to Miss Elana.” Elios has come for the umpteenth time to give an hourly report according to Akram's request. He stared at Akram's frustrated expression, then unconsciously he took a deep breath.

Twenty hours of Elana treatment is a stressful twenty hours for people who are unlucky to have to spend time around Akram Night.

For Elios himself, other than because they were currently risking Elana's life in the hands of Xavier who could do anything against Elana according to his mood, the terrifying aura that his master Akram was stirring in his study really made his hair stand up.

Akram Night canceled all of his meetings today, and chose to do everything related to his work through online connections and avoiding face-to-face. For Elios, it's better. Because, with the state of Akram Night is so grim and terrible as a bomb that is ready to explode, it would be very dangerous if there are people who do not know anything then are unlucky and become the trigger of anger Akram Night then make it explode uncontrollably.

At least by confining himself in his study like this, only Elios had to face the bad mood of his master.

“No eavesdropper can penetrate Xavier's house. That means all we can do now is wait until this fucking time is over while still monitoring the report from there,” Akram glanced at his watch and frowned when calculating the estimated time to pick up Elana later. He drove Elana to Xavier's place at seven in the morning. That means, only about three in the morning can he pick up Elana to return home. Though at this time, the clock had not yet shown twelve o'clock in the afternoon, it was still very long before he could see Elana again.

Akram leaned his back against his big chair. His mind was counting the seconds that passed and somehow felt so slow to torture his soul.

“Elios. Prepare a car to pick up Elana from twelve p.m. I'll wait in front of Xavier's residence until Elana's done.” Akram decided with a calm tone that Elios immediately obeyed.

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All Xavier's protection against his feelings has collapsed. Elana, with her innocent and sinless eyes, had succeeded in forcing Xavier to admit his defeat and choose to be honest.

Never once did Xavier let anyone know his deepest feelings. Maybe only one person had known all along, and that person had already died. The only woman who can make Xavier love her sincerely. That person was her foster mother and Akram's biological mother, Marlene Night.

Throughout Xavier's childhood, either because he was filled with guilt, either because he really loved Xavier, or because he really loved Xavier, Marlene used all her time to support Xavier through the trauma and encourage him to achieve mental healing without despair. Marlene was never absent to accompany Xavier when she met with a psychiatrist to overcome her psychological trauma. Marlene is also the one who knows the deepest feelings of Xavier hidden behind his evil attitude, how unfortunately Xavier on Akram Night, his adopted sister.

"I loved my sister so much that I became her enemy just to identify her enemies and eliminate them. In fact, anyone who tries to hurt my sister, I will finish mercilessly even if she is my close friend or my own men,” Xavier put on a smile full of irony. “Suffering, right? In return for my love, my sister hated me half to death and wanted to kill me with her own hands.”

Elana looked at Xavier sadly. He wanted to understand Xavier's feelings, but this man in front of him was really so complicated to understand. Even the way Xavier loves himself seems inversely proportional to common sense.

For, which man is the way to love is to put himself into an enemy figure for the loved one?

“You said you loved Akram Night. But why do you always kill and snatch things or? In fact…. You hanged and mutilated Akram's pets.” Elana expressed her doubts, once again trying to ascertain what was still lingering in her soul.

Xavier still looked fragile, however, his eyes when talking about the murder he had committed, glistening horribly like a bloodthirsty madman.

“They all broke and I finished because they did not deserve the love of Akram,” he replied slowly, in a terrible whispering tone.

“Not worth?” Elana still did not get a clear answer, which is why she tried to dig once again.And Xavier gave what he wanted, a complete and detailed explanation, and, that could make Elana understand Xavier's true motives behind his evil attitude that likes to provoke Akram.

“You know, after the abduction..,” Xavier's tough attitude seemed a little tidied up when he forced himself to discuss about the abduction that had befallen him in the past. “After I recovered from my trauma.I sought the friendship and affection of my younger brother. And you know what I got? He doesn't even care about me, Akram is busy playing around on his own and doesn't pay attention to me at all.”.

Elana frowned seeing Xavier's revealing childish attitude appear behind her perfect attitude. His mind counted quickly before he then issued a protest.

“After your abduction….Akram was only four years old at the time, he was still a child. So I think Akram might not understand that..” Elana gulps, not expecting that she will sit here, confronting Xavier and providing a defense for Akram.

“Yes, I know, Akram is still a kid. But don't forget that I was a child at the time. The mind of my child who was burdened with psychic trauma also could not understand, why my sister would not play with me and even busy with her toys.”.

“That's why you destroyed Akram's toys?” Elan concluded slowly without getting any denial.

“You kill innocent animals just out of jealousy?” Elana exclaimed in surprise, suddenly a sense of horror crept on her.

It takes an unspeakable abomination to commit murder. Even killing small animals requires a lot of courage. And Xavier committed murder - not just ordinary murder but torture of the animals - when he was a teenager.

Whether what makes Xavier so cruel, maybe according to Akram said that the kidnapping and torture had turned Xavier mentally cruel, maybe Xavier actually had seeds of cruelty in his soul, just waiting for the trigger to resurrect it.

“Not jealous. More precisely, I began to do a selection on everything that caught Akram's attention. I just categorize them on two things. Faithful to Akram, or a traitor. The faithful will then let live and the unfaithful deserve death,” Xavier's eyes again narrowed by the lightning of thick madness. “The wild cat, whom Akram had saved lovingly, scratched my sister to fever her for two days and two nights due to an infection. I immediately finished off the cat before the ugly creature hurt my sister again. And that dog…. People say that dogs are loyal to their masters, but the stupid little dog receives food from my hands, follows me all the time, even asks to sleep on my bed. He forgot which one was his master with just a swab of his head and a little biscuit from me. Such disgusting creatures do not deserve to live in this world..”.

Xavier raised his head so that his eyes met Elana's eyes again. A terrifying grin appeared outstretched on his lips.

“So much as the women of Akram I destroyed...you must still be wondering about Akram's first lover, Anastasia, right? You want to know why I killed him,” correctly Xavier managed to guess what was in Elana's mind.

Elana did not wail, she simply nodded thinly and tried to hold back her thumping chest due to the crawling fear. Really, having a conversation with Xavier who talks about murder is like talking about the weather, inevitably makes his feelings of misgivings unspeakable.

“Anastasia,” evil smile appears on Xavier's lips as his eyes are slightly closed and reminisced. “A brash bitch who thinks she can get all the guys she wants, just because she has made Akram Night bend her knees at her feet.” Xavier continued then in an unconcealed tone of disdain.Xavier folded his hands on his chest, slipping his long legs casually as he began to open his mouth to uncover the past.

“When Akram came home from the school dormitory which all contained male students, making him have no experience with women. Anastasia's beautiful appearance instantly captivated her without defense. Anastasia's own parents, whose house was next to ours and friendly with our parents, deliberately asked Anastasia to stay at our house often for various reasons. I know their real purpose is to make Anastasia the bait to ensnare Akram, the main heir to the Night family fortune who has enormous wealth and power. Of course Anastasia managed to carry out her duties. My innocent sister had absolutely no experience of love and immediately fell in the trap of that bitch.” Xavier looked towards Elana with his hideous sweet smile. “Anastasia immediately got a special place and became Akram's lover. They tie promises like a couple who love each other and will be faithful to death,”

Elana watches over Xavier's expression and realizes that until now, Xavier's apparent anger has been stashed on anyone who has betrayed Akram in the past. For now, Elana did not open her mouth at all and chose to listen carefully, waiting for a bright light that would uncover all the complicated confusion of the two brothers' very strange pasts.

“It only takes one appeal to persuade Anastasia to fall into my arms. Even then I did not seduce with all my heart, but the woman immediately fell at my feet,” Xavier pointed at her own dazzling face and smiled wryly towards Elana. “This face, you know, this face is poison, especially for weak-hearted women. I think you're the only woman who's immune to it.”

Xavier's words made Elana thin her lips to hold back a smile. He remembered Akram's sentence that the more dazzling a person's face was, the more poisonous he was. Unexpectedly, Xavier even admitted it himself with a relaxed attitude.

“So, Anastasia didn't pass your test?” Elana asked slowly, with a cautious attitude.

Xavier moved from where he sat and stood. The man stopped when he reached the edge of the bed, close to Elana.

Unknowingly, Elana inched slightly away, her body reflexively trying to avoid Xavier's intimidating posture.But, Xavier did not act any further. The man just stood on the edge of the bed and watched Elana with his sharp eyes full of indecipherable flashes.

“Not only didn't pass my exam. But, Anastasia has failed miserably,” Xavier squinted. “I never invited him to my bed. But one night, he came and gave himself away at a bargain price. When I tasted her, she was not even a virgin, but I knew exactly that Akram had not fucked her. And even more disgusting, Anastasia seemed to be addicted to the pleasure of betrayal behind Akram without being discovered, happy to have succeeded in ensnaring two brothers in his charm. The bitch always offered herself to sleep many times after, throwing her cheesy self behind the back of the clueless Akram,”

Elana was agape, not expecting to receive such information from Xavier's mouth at all. His mind hesitated, fearing that what Xavier told him was just another form of manipulation the man had towards him.

It's possible, isn't it? Could Xavier have deliberately made himself look right in Elana's eyes to cultivate Elana's empathy towards her and make Elana's self-defense weaken?

However, Xavier's expression was so dark as to reminisce. The disgust and hatred on his face was so real as if it was completely vented from the bottom of his soul. If Xavier is currently acting, it means that the man is really a very skilled actor who deserves an award for his acting skills.

“Despite…. Although Anastasia did something wrong…. But you.. You should not have killed him,” Elana managed to pull out the denouncing sentence even though her heart was filled with fear.

Xavier's eyes shone a little frighteningly, then suddenly, before Elana could dodge, Xavier leaned over the bed, half-overlapping Elana. Elana's stiffened body was filled with fear, her eyes widened while her body was bouncy, ready to jump, thrash or hit if Xavier did anything impudent.

But just like the previous one, Xavier did nothing but overlap Elana and continued speaking.

“I must eliminate Anastasia, because I saw that Akram had bought the ring, planned a surprise proposal and a wedding ceremony. I can't possibly let Akram fall into a marriage with that bitch, can I?“ Xavier answered with a question, but Elana was unable to give an answer.

As the man continued his words again, his expression seemed to bear a very heavy burden. “You may think I'm crazy or weird, but that's how I solve every problem. We can't trust anyone unless those people have passed the standard I set. As I said earlier, there are only two people at my standard. One was a loyal man and the second a traitor. These traitors, they must be eliminated before acting further and incurring great losses.”

Both of Xavier's arms trap Elana on the left and right sides of her head, while her eyes glitter by something so similar to an emotion called pain.

“My father was a good person and always thought of others. He even sacrificed me for the sake of thinking about the tens of thousands of employee fates that depended on him. But, such a good person, there were even still people who wanted to hurt him. The people who kidnapped me and tried to stab my father in the back, they were the men of the people near my own father. They disguised themselves as my father's best friend, but behind them they were busy looking for a way to bring down my father, trying to destroy my father with malice. When these bad guys found out that the kidnapper they paid for was misdirected and kidnapped me instead of Akram, they took their hands off and didn't want to interfere. Only paying half and then severing ties, not wanting to be responsible for the survival of my fate that has been kidnapped and refused to be redeemed. That's what made the criminals they hired become so angry and vent their anger on me. I was tortured with unspeakable cruelty that an eight-year-old shouldn't have experienced.”.

Xavier's fingers rubbed Elana's cheeks gently as her voice trembled slightly full of past trauma. “If you were.. If you experienced just a tenth of what I experienced at that time, you might prefer to die. But I. I survive to live. Every night that torments me when my mouth is full of blood that comes out of my teeth that were beaten, beaten, every night I froze my thin, bruised arms shivering to hug my stomach, which was biting with hunger, when my puffy eyes from being punched were no longer able to shed tears, and in the moment…. The criminals took off my pants, harassing me until the pain felt like being mutilated alive…. I'm staying put…. I keep fighting to live, I don't want to die…. You know why?” this time the vibrations in Xavier's voice were very real

When Elana raised her head timidly to look at the man's face, shock mixed with poignancy instantly encompassed Elana's heart as she saw Xavier's eyes were already soaked by tears, touching Elana's heart in a deep, empathetic pulse.

“You know why I stay at the most painful point where I should just die?” xavier's sobbing voice mixed with his cries.  “Because I want to go home. Because I want to go back into my father's arms, into my mother's arms and also want to hug my sister again. Because I still have hope, I still have family. That's why when they dumped me to die, I used all my energy to survive,” Xavier's body started to shake as he moved to hug Elana.

“I know why me and Akram are interested in you. You.your attitude, your innocence, your unfathomable kindness, all are similar to our mother Marlene…. After that torturous therapy, Marlene was always there to hug me, she was always there to make me strong…. Please, Lana…. Please hug me...”.

Unknowingly, Elana felt her eyes getting wet with tears. Xavier's pain, all the terrible torment he endured, was all reflected in the trembling voice and sobs that flooded in without theatrics.

Elana's hand moved in her attempt to lighten Xavier's burden, then hugged the man and let him vent emotions, crying in his arms.

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