I Borrowed Him : Diary Luna
Season 3: Episode 39

"I understand.." chirped Brother Jester

Although I know she's hard-hearted to take my orders, Jester believes what I'm saying is what Naomi wants. His steps were heavy as he left the room, as were Selena and Grece who walked behind Jester's sister. Not long after I heard the sound of the door closing, I deliberately did nothing so that I was sure that Brother Jester and the others really did not eavesdrop on my conversation with Naomi.

I took my breath in - deep and exhaled it slowly, I knew this conversation would be heavy and also drain all emotions. After preparing my heart for all the possibilities, I turned around and looked at Naomi who was still sitting hugging her legs with her head resting on her hands. Her body she leaned on the mattress cot, I slowly saw Naomi's hands squeezing her arms so tightly as if she was forcing herself to say something to me.

I slowly walked up to her, sat down next to her, then gently stroked her hair that felt so smooth. The first thing I could think of at the time was to give her a sense of security and comfort so she would talk to me about anything, I waited for her to be ready to start the conversation and let this state of silence make Naomi feel calm.

"You should stay here!! Go back to Jester!!" said Naomi with a little scream, she immediately turned her eyes to look at me expectantly even though her eyes looked glassy.

I sighed before responding to Naomi's emotional words, as I thought this would be a drama-filled conversation that again involved feelings. But given what had just happened, I could understand very well why Naomi wanted me to go back to Jester to take her place. I did the same thing to Selena, forcing her to take my place because Naomi and I wanted the best for Jester.

"You don't love Brother Jester?" I try as gently as possible

"Because I love her I did this for her!! I love her. and I want the best for her.." Naomi's voice sounded hoarse as she held back her cries, she said, even so he said it with great pressure and made me very sure if he was the same as me when asking Selena to replace myself as a lover of Jester's sister.

"Well, I'll stay here and come back to her, too." I said, accepting Naomi's request, saying it out loud even though my tone was still gentle.

"Thank you. and promise me that you will make her happy." said Naomi, along with that I also saw Naomi's hand squeezing her arm even stronger to the point that it had a nail piercing the skin of her arm.

"No" I said without the slightest hesitation, as I saw Naomi surprised at my rejection.

"What do you mean by no?!" kind of emotional Naomi asked me

I removed my hand from Naomi's head which had gently stroked her hair, I slightly shifted from my seat so that I could lean next to Naomi on the mattress cot. I pointed my eyes at the sky - the room sky and I rolled back my memories when I selfishly asked Selena to promise me that she would be Jester's lover. Now that I felt the pressure Selena felt at that moment, I again let out a sigh that felt so heavy.

"Sister Jester doesn't love me, he just loves you and if you ask me to come back to him?" much

A question I'm not really addressing Naomi, that question I'm actually addressing myself. Before this, I didn't realize how bad my choices were involving Selena and Jester, only regret haunted me until I finally came back here to finish all my regrets. But I get that karma from Naomi, where Naomi is me and I am Selena.

I didn't want Naomi to do the same with me until it made her feel the same remorse and guilt as me, I had to stop her from making the same decision as me at all costs. Because I know, there will only be regrets in the future if Naomi still chooses the path I once chose.

"Did Brother Jester know about your situation?" I asked as I turned my eyes to look into her eyes, Naomi only nodded her head a few times without a surprised look at me.

I know she's probably surprised I know about the secret Naomi tried to hide her whole life, maybe she finally realized that I knew it all from Selena. The expression of his surprised face gradually disappeared, now he looked at me with sorrowful eyes.

"What did he say after he found out?" ask me curious

"She wants this marriage to continue." Naomi replied doubtfully.

"My mother won't be able to keep Jester quiet forever, whether Daniel will come back to do something stupid like this. If this disgrace is exposed, I will ruin the good name of the Gates family..." naomi answered, for a moment we fell silent again until the sound of Naomi's breath was heard.

"The Gates family is a respectable family in this country, I heard from my father that Papa Jester was willing to come out of the big family because my father was insulted by Jester's grandfather and to avenge their actions, papa Jester and my father worked together to build a chain of hotels and hospitals using surnames that were not really the business areas of the Gates and Scott family" naomi explained about the condition of their two big families, I do not understand what Naomi said but at least I understand how much Naomi wants to keep the good name of these two big families.

"Revenge in a yes style, prove yourself that without the legacy of a large family but still able to rise and become rich" my timps with the sound of a small laugh that accompanies it, but Naomi didn't respond to my laughter trying to provoke her.

"I see, if your disgrace is exposed then the efforts of Mr. William to maintain a good name will be smeared in the eyes of the Gates family. Then have you said this to Brother Jester?" I was wondering, I wonder if Brother Jester had time to think about this heavy thing.

As far as I know, Jester is not the type of person who cares about things like this, he lives freely as he wants without being restrained by anything. At least that's how I felt when I was close to him and also how when I saw the closeness of Brother Jester with Mr. William and also Miss Marrie, they were a rich family that was quite strange to me. Because other than the Parker family, the only rich family I've ever dared to be close to is the Gates family.

"He said he didn't care, but he didn't represent the voice of a big family.I'm not sure if he understood this burden or not, because he was sometimes stupid" naomi said and laughed that I heard her words, as I expected that Naomi would think the same way as I did about Jester's sister.

"Either because I knew Mr. Jester or indeed that was the nature of Mr. Jester, I think he really did not understand what he was dealing with actually" my dream and I laughed for a while, Naomi slowly leaned back her head on the hand that was hugging her legs.

"But, Brother Jester is still brother Jester, even though he does not understand but I am sure when your fear occurs then Jester's foot will remain by your side and protect you with all his might. Since Brother Jester loves you so much, he'll protect you no matter what, haven't you felt it all this time?" I told Naomi

Maybe when my speech managed to resuscitate him, I don't know what Jester's sister had done to Naomi who made words I said to her heart. The head that Naomi had originally laid on her hand, was now slowly raised with the look of eyes that seemed to be aware of something. I smiled at the look in her eyes, and I immediately thought that this was the right first step so that Naomi would not fall into the same hole as me.

"Do you still doubt that Jester's feet will always be by your side? Naomi....who do you remember when you were scared, lonely, sad and in need of help? whose name are you yelling at when you feel cornered?" somewhat pressuring me as I said it, Naomi slowly raised her head along with all my questions to her.

"Jester.. I always imagined him whenever I got into trouble because of my stupidity.." Naomi answered stammered.

"You may still stubbornly ask me to return to Brother Jester, but your little heart will always reject your selfish request and that little heart will continue to rebel to do so... Naomi, who do you really want to be Jester's best friend?" I pressed her back so she wouldn't hesitate - doubting her own words, Naomi gasped as I pressed her even more.

Slowly but I could read what Naomi was trying to say from the motion of her trembling lips, "Luna" I saw Naomi trying to say that from the motion of her lips to answer my question. "No, you can't say that, Naomi!" I said in my heart so furious to see it full of doubt, but it was like affirming that I really hate myself? Naomi is really a reflection of my old self, right? :)

"Who?!" ask me in a softer voice while patting her shoulder

"Lu.." not finished yet Naomi replied, I cut it off

"Who?!!" my question with a little snapping, I got even more furious with him because he was still not being honest with his own heart

"Me!! i. I want to be with him. I really want to be with him... Luna... help me!!!" he replied and at that moment his cry broke, his tears rushing down his face. I didn't feel like I was shedding my tears, I managed to make it not fall into the same hole as me...

Can I be proud of this result? I managed to change it. I managed to make it not like me. I. proud of myself for the first time in my life.:).