I Borrowed Him : Diary Luna
Season 4: Episode 7

My brain is frozen, I can't think very well. Is it really possible to do? taking Luna to an open-air cinema festival at night was very dangerous for her health, my human mind could not accept the decision of the doctor who gave Luna permission to come out. Positive thinking brings about change, it is an unequal gamble.

"I'm afraid things are going to get worse.." I said it.

"Everything has been very well prepared by the nursing team, he will go to the destination with a special wheelchair that carries several infusions and other small medical devices" timpal Harry tried to convince me that everything would be fine, along with Harry's words Luke was seen walking up to me and patting me on the shoulder.

"Luna entrusted her dream to you, you must be able to answer that request well" Luke said firmly

I sighed and then turned to go back into Luna's room, Luna looked at me when she realized I was back. With a hand gesture she asked me to approach her and gather with Naomi, Selena, Justin, Grece, and Luna's parents, some of them still teary-eyed.

I didn't really get close at the time, a little further away than friends standing around Luna's gurney. But even from that distance I heard Luna talking, she purposely gathered us together at that time to say something.

"Listen to me~ I'm glad you came here to see me, but if you come just to cry about my situation. I wanted to finish my dream with a smile" sounded annoyed as Luna said it, alternately as Luna looked at us with her pouting face.

After that I saw Naomi, Selena and Grece trying to smile, they looked like fools for trying so hard to smile. While I could not force myself to smile according to what Luna wanted, my head felt like exploding and felt a twitch in every vein - a neck vein that went to the head. Maybe I was too stressed at the time, but there was something that finally made me laugh a little.

"That's the worst smile I've ever seen from you, Selena" Naomi chirped in her little laugh

"You have to read and look at your fake smile before insinuating someone" Selena replied upsetly

"You should all imitate me, my fake smile remains as charming as ever" Grece said

"That's worse than what I've shown you!" said Naomi and Selena at the same time, Justin was laughing to hear Naomi and Selena compact insult his girlfriend.

Instantly when the atmosphere of the room that previously felt gloomy full of sadness changed, it felt so warm with the sound of laughter all of them. Whether who started, in the end Naomi, Selena, Grece and Justin invited Luna to joke with their respective stories. Luna laughed as she listened to their jokes, she smiled broadly with all the silly things that Naomi, Selena, Grece and Justin showed.

Luna's smile made me realize something, well, I must admit I will never be able to bring a smile on Luna's lips whatever I do at a time like this, I should have relied on my friends from the beginning and not forced myself to do everything myself. Every now and then in the middle of that laughter Luna turned to look at me with sad eyes, I don't know what it means because it happened in such a short time.

A code that Luna gave me again and I did not understand it. That was my folly for the umpteenth time....

All started at dusk, Luna's wheelchair was ready in the corner of the room and several nurses were also ready to help Luna move from the gurney to the wheelchair. Luna's father and mother had tried to persuade Luna to delay her wish, but Luna was still Luna, no one can hold it.

It did not take long until Luna was ready to leave, now Luna was on her wheelchair. I took her to the front of the hospital entrance, behind us at that time Naomi, Selena, Justin, Justin, Grece and Luna's parents were also at the drop, but they stopped walking right in front of the hospital entrance. Hearing the footsteps that stopped, I looked back to see why they did not all keep walking with me.

"You guys.. don't come?" I was surprised, my question seemed to also attract the attention of Luna who made her look back to look at them.

"No, I'm a little tired, I feel jet lag" Naomi replied stammered, she turned to look at other friends as if looking for support.

"It's okay if you want to come, besides you are far away to come here" said Luna

"Aahs.. Eeh.. that.." Naomi had not finished speaking, Luke chimed in from a distance and shouted a little.

"Sir Will invites you to have dinner together at one of his friends' restaurants, especially for Jester and Luna. You just continue your show" Luke said, we all looked at Luke who was out of nowhere he came from behind Naomi.

"Then let's go see papa, Jess. hearts - yes and Luna. You don't push yourself" naomi said then she turned to walk up to Luke as her hands pulled Selena and Grece's arms together, not long before Justin and Luna's parents followed Naomi.

"Jester, do what you have to do" said Luke before turning around to go somewhere, but because there was no papa I wasn't worried about them all.

"They're all... Why?" asked Luna who sounded confused by the attitude of friends and also her parents, I smiled because I seemed to understand what was going on.

They let me and Luna both like what Luna wanted, we were given space to be able to realize everything Luna wanted and it was just me and her. I looked at her and smiled, the support from them certainly means a lot to Luna.

"They.. give time for us to be able to both complete all your dreams, we leave?" take me, Luna smiled and then she looked back to the front.

"Let's go!!!" luna exclaimed excitedly, I pushed the wheelchair to take Luna to the venue for the open cinema festival.

I tried to follow the spirit shown by Luna, my footsteps were so steady when I stepped. At first I thought like that, but it wasn't, I was able to step strong because of the smile Luna showed when we walked down the streets of Paris that night. Luna's eyes look sparkling around that show her happiness and cheerfulness, I've never seen her so enthusiastic like that even when we were in High School.

We talked a lot of things while it was all along the way, a pleasant chat and full of laughter. Sometimes he jokes about Paris that make me laugh and vice versa, all the laughter makes us forget if this trip takes a short time. In the end we have reached the place where the festival was held, the more happy Luna looked at that time. He slightly jumped his body several times while pointing at where he wanted to sit, but Luna's choice of seat made him have to get out of the wheelchair.

Although there was a bit of debate between me and her, but Luna finally obeyed me. I chose a chair that was a little mojok so that Luna did not need to move from her wheelchair, while I sat right next to Luna on a chair provided. Unfortunately we were a little late by then, the movie had already started probably already running more than a quarter of the views.

Aah yes, at that time the film shown had a genre of humor. Luna laughs at the funny actors, although I'm pretty sure she doesn't understand what the actors and actresses are saying. While I was not focused on the film, these eyes were on the face of Luna who looked happy with the humor film. Luna's happiness made me think, "Why can you laugh? have you forgotten what you're dealing with? why can you act like nothing happened?".

Maybe at that time he felt noticed by me, slowly Luna turned to look at me and we were silent to look at each other.

"Why brother?" asked Luna to break the silence between us, I immediately lowered my gaze.

"I can't possibly survive." he chirped and his words angered me.

"Luna!! what - what the hell are you saying?!" with a snatch I chimed in his words, at that time Luna looked at the screen and slowly she turned back to look at me.

"I know best about my body. I will not survive, brother... But I want to keep smiling in front of you so that when the time comes" he answered and I gasped to hear it, at once I threw away my face to avoid looking at him.

"Sister Jester." said Luna then, I slowly turned back to look at her.

"Please forget about me, ever since I learned of this illness, I've considered myself never to be in the world..." Luna said it with a smile

"You... want to get away from me the same way?! you want me to hate you again after what we just went through?!! what do you think I am?!!" my dream with a snap, I was so angry but this anger did not spit out the slightest of Luna's smile.

"About my relationship with everyone other than my parents, it's all in the shadows in my head. Being loved or hated is all in my imagination. I planned to live alone since I knew about my illness, but in the end I could not even live alone. I just realized that humans are not able to live alone when I am at the end of my life, I feel like the stupidest person because of it" replied Luna then she looked back at the screen in front.

I didn't know what to say at that time, Luna didn't seem to know what else to say. We were silent for a while, until Luna heard her sigh.

"I'm sorry to ask you to forget me. I'm just confused as to how I should behave in front of you, sis.." luna sounded sorry.

"I don't want to hear you say it again" I firmly chimed in, I tried to slightly threaten him with the pressure of my voice.

"As soon as I thought about death." chirped Luna again and the words again made me flinch.

"Luna!!" I snapped, slowly Luna looked back at me with her smile.

"I think the man experienced two deaths, the first death when the breath had stopped and the second death when the man was forgotten and his name was never mentioned again. I want to die in a state of being remembered by many people, that is the reason why I used to want to become a famous singer whose work will continue to be heard by many people. But right now, I just want you, my parents, Naomi, Selena, Justin's sister, Luke's sister, Harry's sister and Grece who will keep remembering me..." luna said then she shed tears so hard, but her smile did not also fade from her lip line.

I was stunned, staring at his face, it was so strange when someone cried and his voice sounded so heartbreaking that he could still smile....

"Sister... will you forget me when I die? I'm afraid.. I'm afraid to be alone... lonely.... will you all soon forget me...?" luna asked in a heartbreaking voice in my ear, my body shook and I didn't know what to answer at such a time.

I was like a fool who could only fall silent when someone asked me. Until Luna had to ask a second time, she said...

"Sister. will you forget me immediately when I am buried? I was afraid to be alone." asked Luna again and at once her smile disappeared, her voice now raspy and tears now wetting her cheeks.

The clear night sky in the sky of Paris with moonlight was unable to make the atmosphere back cheerful as when we were on our way to this place, the streets that are crowded with festival visitors and also the crowds around us also feel so quiet. As if this place was just me and Luna, Luna's cries filled my ears and head.

"I.. want to enjoy this movie, shouldn't that be what we're going to do tonight?" ask me to divert that heartbreaking talk.

I threw away my face to avoid looking at her, though, in my deepest heart I still have faith that Luna will recover from her pain which is why I don't want to think about what answer I'm going to tell her.

"Sister." Luna said, I cut him off.

"Don't you say we're here for fun? why did you break your own words? or should we just go home and end this as you say?" my timpal with a slightly pressing tone, I glanced at him and saw his response.

"You're right.why I got carried away with this unpleasant atmosphere.pardon me." said Luna and I cut her back.

"No need to apologize, I'm wrong for luring you with my questions. I'm just like you, I'm afraid to lose you... but it makes me confused how to behave in front of you. But now I just want you to be happy, I will realize your happiness starting from this second. let's just enjoy the moment of our togetherness in Paris" I firmly concluded, I immediately looked at her stunned face when I heard my words.

I smiled at him, I finally had to do this. I want him to always remember me smiling, no matter what happens in the future...

"Check list of your dreams.Let's do our best, I promise I will continue to accompany you to do it" I said excitedly, slowly I can see Luna's smile line lifted and back in sight.

"Promise me to finish that checklist?" asked Luna to confirm my words, when she thrust her little finger as if she was telling me to promise by tying our two little fingers.

I was silent looking at her little finger, only then did I realize how thin Luna's body was at that time. Even his little finger at that time looked just a bone wrapped in skin, the color of his skin looked so pale and felt very fragile.

"Why? don't you dare to make a promise with me?" luna asked, annoyed that I was silent, I laughed a little, and then I hooked my little finger on her little finger.

"It's good that I feel like you're treating me like a child" I answered and then I laughed, my laughter provoked Luna to laugh.

"Where's your promise? you just put your pinky on my pinky" said Luna sounding cranky, her jutek face was visible.

"I promise. Whatever happens, I'll finish your checklist. As long as you also promise to try to recover" I said my promise to her, this time it was Luna's stunned turn to look at my face.

"Thank you kak~ I promised to try to recover" said Luna after previously you were silent for a while