I Borrowed Him : Diary Luna
Season 4: Episode 6

In the middle of the song I stopped playing this acoustic guitar and bowed, my fingers could no longer move me to continue to accompany Luna singing because the fingers were shaking. My eyes also felt blurry because tears welled up, I wanted to hold it but it made my body tremble. I ruined Luna's last appearance that she wanted, how stupid I was to something like this alone I couldn't afford to do...

"Enough.. I can't continue it. sorry" sobbed I said it, then I heard him sigh.

It was never imagined for me to be in such a situation that tormented my inner self, watching and listening to the voice of the person I once loved so much and also giving me happiness in my past life singing a song about farewell at a time like this. Because I believe Luna sang this song especially for me, this song also describes the inner voice of Luna.

The beautiful sound feels give the atmosphere in this room to feel so sad, so sad, Luna actually performed this song with great passion to convey each verse very well in my ears and to make me drift away in sorrow. To be honest I wish it was just a nightmare in the middle of the night, my love may have been lost for him but the memories and happiness I can still feel well.

Luna continued the song even without me standing by her, I was like a fool who could only be silent with my own sobs in front of the camera. As Luna wrote earlier, this was one of the memories she wanted as much as the content in the song. I'm glad he's happy with what happened, even though I have to put up with my embarrassment now when I see the contents in the video. I could only cry for more than three minutes, embarrassing...

When Luna finished singing, she took a deep breath and patted me on the shoulder. When I turned her head back then she pointed at my phone without saying anything, I understood what she wanted but still said nothing back then... I knew she could no longer say because when she said something I knew right away that she was trying hard to hold back her cries, like that Luna in front of me...

I walked over to pick up the phone and gave it to Luna so she could see how it looked, but her hand gestured if she didn't want to see our appearance...

"No need, it must have been a bad performance. I just want it to be a memory - a memory for you, hopefully you don't erase it.." Pinta Luna told me, I turned off the phone screen and then I put it in my pocket.

When I was about to sit back down, Luna again kicked me out by saying...

"Go home, sis.." said Luna, I was again surprised because she kicked me out for the second time in two consecutive days. I turned to look at her and wanted to say "Let me accompany you here" but not yet delivered, Luna said a farewell...

"Thank you, I'll see you tomorrow~" in Luna's spoiled tone saying, her blotchy smile at the time made me think "Do you really want me to leave here?"

I'm not out of words like the one Luna wrote, I just don't want to argue with her like I have - it's been despite this heavy heart to leave Luna. My heart screamed not because he kicked me out, but because I knew he needed me here. But this is how Luna I know, she was always so strong and strong before me as if she didn't need me to help her. He's always been like this, it doesn't surprise me...

It didn't take long for me to get ready to go home, nor did I attempt to delay - procrastinating to leave this room even though I wished Luna would hold me back. I really expected her to be honest and asked me to accompany her here, but even until I was outside the room Luna did not hold me back. And it happened again as I expected. When I closed the door of the room and was silent for a while in front of him, I heard Luna crying again sobbing. Several times I heard him scream even though he tried to muffle it with his hands, but the sound of his screams I could still hear from outside the room.

In accordance with my promise to papa, I left the hotel because I was sure Luna would not look for me even though I had been waiting for her for a full day like today. I rested in the hotel and just stayed in the room without doing anything, occasionally I stared at the video recording between me and Luna who sang again All I Ask. My eyes were glued to the screen and pensively looking at the face of Luna who looked so tough with everything, "Why can you be that strong? how do you train all those skills?" ask in my heart

Not felt the day passed, when the morning before that time I woke up with a cellphone screen still showing a video of my recording with Luna. I stared at the window of the room whose curtains I did not close and at that moment I realized that morning had arrived, this was our fifth day in Paris and not what Luna wrote as the third day.

I grabbed my phone and I turned the video back, Luna's voice still made me feel sad. Pensively I stared at the video and my ears also focused on listening to Luna's voice that did not tremble in the slightest singing the song, "How strong are you, Luna" I murmured at that time. I was ashamed of myself for what happened in the tape, how could I have lost more than Luna who suffered more than me?

At that moment I daydreamed until the sound of knocking on the door of the room sounded, I gasped and then moved from the bed to look at the door of the room. For a moment I was silent and made sure it was not just a hallucination of my ears hearing the door being knocked by someone, until a second knock was heard I immediately walked over to open the door.

From the opening of the door I saw Naomi with a flat face she looked at me, I opened the door even wider but was still surprised by her presence this morning.

"For Jess.." she trembled a little, there seemed to be fear in her heart at that moment.

"Why.. are you here...?" I'm surprised, I can't believe he came here unannounced.

"Selena, I can't stand it, she said she would do anything to catch up with Luna. Do you know how strong their bond is?" naomi answered after she heard sighing before, but the answer was only an explanation so that I did not misunderstand her presence here.

"But... Luna wants to.." I'm not done yet saying, Naomi cut

"We will not interfere with the plans of the two of you, you and Luna can continue with your plans and do not think of us" Naomi said, sounding so calm, then somehow my heart was haunted by guilt as if I were caught cheating on her.

"Why? I'm okay, I'm just worried about you, all worried about your situation.at least, let me be by your side." said Naomi who sounded so worried to me.

The two women close to me showed me how hard I felt about facing me, I felt instantly that I was a stupid man who could do nothing without making these two women worry about me. I always hear these two women saying I'm worried about my situation, where I feel I'm fine. I don't really understand what they think of me, I'm running out of words...

"Are you the same as anyone here?" much

"Me, Selena, Luna's parents Luke, Harry, Justin and Grece, they are currently visiting Luna directly at the hospital. Papa told us where Luna was being treated, they are with me now" Naomi replied, then I allowed Naomi to enter my room.

When Naomi entered the room, I closed the door. I looked at Naomi's back from behind who was walking through the room and she stopped when standing right in front of the bed, her eyes turned to her left and was fixated at that moment. I didn't know what caught her attention until Naomi grabbed my phone and she stared at what was shown on the screen, "Oh Shit, that's a video of me and Luna" I said in my heart.

"You... okay?" naomi asked and it surprised me, I looked back into her eyes with a look of my surprised face.

"What?" ask me because I don't believe what I've heard, even at times like this he's still worried about me. There was no jealousy at all from the voice Naomi made for me after seeing the video, she asked about my situation instead.

"I said.. Are you okay?" Naomi repeated her question in an even more resolute tone, I just fell silent with a sharp look of eyes looking at Naomi.

"You look shaky, until it makes you unable to continue playing the guitar. Your heart must be hurting right now.How are you feeling? are you really as good as you told me?" ask Naomi again because maybe she saw me just petrified like a fool

"I'm.all right... Naomi" I answered

"If your heart is tired, you don't have to keep fighting alone, lean on me. Take a break and go home for a moment" Naomi gently said

Somehow the burden on my heart now felt so heavy at that instant, I walked up and hugged her tightly even though I said nothing. We hugged each other long enough then and really just fell silent without a sound, not long Naomi let go of her embrace and she sat leaning on the bed. With a hand gesture she asked me to lay down with Naomi's thigh as a pillow for me, I just obeyed her and I did her orders.

Her soft hands stroked my head slowly, she accompanied me until my heart felt ready to meet Luna again in the hospital. I don't know what makes Naomi sure I'm ready, as if she knows I'm ready and then her hand stops gently stroking my hair. I woke up from my fall, with a look in my eyes and a hand gesture I told Naomi if I wanted to go to the hospital to meet Luna.

We walked out of the room to get to the hospital, in front of the lobby I was about to call a taxi but Naomi refused by saying she wanted to enjoy the trip to the hospital by foot. Actually at that time I don't know why he asked for such a tiring thing, but in the middle of the road I finally understood why Naomi suggested we walk. The morning air at that time seemed to give me a new energy to be able to calm the emotional turmoil in my heart, this is like what I had taught him first at the top of the hill on the edge of our country.

It took a while, but in the end we arrived. Now that my heart feels stronger with all the treatment Naomi gave me, I feel better prepared to look into Luna's eyes.

In front of Luna's room my hand opened the door slowly, there I saw Luna, Selena, Luna's parents Justin and Grece standing around Luna's gurney. My eyes and Luna's eyes met and I saw her surprised for some reason, before Luna's eyes turned to look at Naomi and she said...

"Naomi~ I kangen~" instantly Luna's voice made Naomi cry, Naomi slightly ran up to Luna and said...

"Cheal quickly ya.." said Naomi, at that time Luna only nodded a few times.

"Where are you? what's better?" ask Naomi

"I feel healthier and more energetic, the nurse here is better than the hospital I was in. Unfortunately sometimes I don't understand what they're saying, so I just smile and nod when they say something to me" with a little laugh Luna answered

"Luna... It's a summer open cinema schedule, not far from here but.... You really want to go today?" selena chirped at that time, I was immediately surprised by what Selena said.

"Well?!! no, I can't!! you are still sick!!!" sounding angry Naomi said it, I was glad Naomi said it because if it was I would definitely Luna would argue with me.

"I've had the doctor's permission and the doctor's permission to let me" Luna said in a happy tone without the slightest burden, I immediately turned to look at Luna's father and mother who were inversely proportional to Luna's expression at that time.

Luna's father and mother were distressed and obviously worried about Luna's request, from there I was more and more convinced that I had to intervene to stop her. This should not be allowed, Luna was too selfish with all her wishes to make both her parents become sad. I immediately turned around and wanted to talk to the doctor, did Luna really get that permission.

"I'm going to see a doctor" I said as I walked out of Luna's room.

In the corridor in front of Luna's room, I saw papa, Luke, and Harry walking together toward me, I saw Harry waving his hand as he looked at me. When we got close, Harry asked me...

"Hey Jester, where are you going?" ask Harry

"I want to see the doctor who handled Luna, said Luna she got permission to come to the open-air cinema festival today" I replied rather annoyedly, as I saw Harry staring at papa.

"Well it's true what Luna said, she got special permission to do it" said papa sounding without burden, hearing papa's words when it became more and more astonished until my forehead felt shriveled.

"Why did the doctor give him permission? isn't it an act." I haven't finished saying, papa cut it.

"Doctors say the only miracle for Luna to heal is her own mind, you know all about the power of positive thinking, son? if Luna's life spirit is high, it is not impossible that she can get through her critical period. It is out of scientific things, but that does not mean it can be underestimated" said papa, papa words make me stunned to look at him.

The power of positive thinking, will it work? it's just a myth in my opinion, not something that deserves to be a life gamble. Luna's very critical condition, we can't do anything try - try something that deals with life. At least that was what was in my head at the time. But. if it works, will Luna be able to live longer...