I Borrowed Him : Diary Luna
Season 3: Episode 53
I heard Jester's brother take a deep breath in and then exhale slowly, not long before Jester's fingers began to play the guitar and enter the intro of the song. The intro sound of the song All I Ask at that time immediately made my heart feel claustrophobic, maybe because I was very deep in the meaning of this song or maybe because of me... this year is the second me and Jester can be together...
***adele - All I Ask***
I will leave my heart at the door
I won't say a word
They've all been said before, you know
So why don't we just play pretend?
Like we're not scared of what's coming next
Or scared of having nothing left
Look, don't get me wrong
I know there is no tomorrow
All I ask
If this is my last night with you
Hold me like I'm more than just a friend
Give me a memory I can use
Take me by the hand while we do what loves do
It matters how this ends
'Cause what if I never love again?
*******************************
Amidst the song Jester brother arrived - suddenly stopped playing his guitar, I saw Kak Jester when it supported the head bowed using his left hand. At that time I also heard him crying, his breathing was irregular which made this room feel a sad atmosphere.
Me? not much different, actually my heart has been feeling tight since. Several times I held back my cries with a hard pinch on both my thighs, all I did to be able to continue this song well. But in the end it was Brother Jester who was not strong enough to endure his sadness, I did not expect this to end like this.
"Enough..I can't carry on. I'm sorry.." sobbed Brother Jester said, his voice sounded so heavy and vibrating.
I sighed for a moment and was about to continue the song even though Jester's leg no longer accompanied me with the beautiful voice of his guitar, I also keep staring at the camera on Jester's cell phone so that I can remember - these memories are stored well and this song was delivered perfectly.
This moment must make me happy because I can again tick the list I made, behind all my efforts to hold back my tears I remain happy to succeed in realizing my dreams.
***adele - All I Ask***
I don't need your honour
It's already in your eyes
And I'm sure my eyes, they speak for me
No one knows me like you do
And since you're the only one that matters
Tell me who do I run to?
Look, don't get me wrong
I know there is no tomorrow
All I ask
If this is my last night with you
Hold me like I'm more than just a friend
Give me a memory I can use
Take me by the hand while we do what loves do
It matters how this ends
'Cause what if I never love again?
Let this be our lesson in love
Let this be the way we remember us
I don't want to be cruel or vicious
And I ain't asking for forgiveness
All I ask
If this is my last night with you
Hold me like I'm more than just a friend
Give me a memory I can use
Take me by the hand while we do what loves do
It matters how this ends
'Cause what if I never love again?
************************
I don't know how it turned out but I've tried my best with my current condition, whether it will be good or not, but one thing is certain is that the sound of a bit of Jester must have been recorded along with the sound of my singing.
I patted the shoulder of Brother Jester and he slowly raised his head to look at me in the face, with tears streaming down as Jester looked so sad. I sighed and then I pointed to the phone that was still recording, without a word and only with my smile, Brother Jester understood what I was asking.
With a step that looks gontai kak Jester walking closer to his cellphone which is placed leaning on a vase of flowers on the table, I saw him operating the cellphone and for a moment he was silent staring at the screen. Not long ago the eyes of Jester's brother turned to me, without a word he gave the phone as if Jester's brother allowed me to see the results but I refused.
"No need, it must have been my worst performance. I just want it to be a memory - a memory for you, hopefully you don't erase it" I said, brother Jester put the phone back in his pants pocket and then walked back to me.
Not yet had the opportunity to sit, I broke the silence by saying...
"Go home, sis.." chirped me, I saw Brother Jester so surprised that he immediately turned his eyes to look at me.
I smiled at him without saying anything after asking him to go home, slowly the lips of Brother Jester seemed to be moving whether he would say at that time. I cut it off by saying...
"Thank you, I'll see you tomorrow~" I said in a spoiled tone, again Brother Jester looks shocked by what I said.
Not long before Jester was ready to leave my room, put the guitar in his bag and then tote the guitar bag for him to take with him to leave my room. His steps looked shaky and as if he wanted to wait for me to hold him back, but I did not hold him back and kept letting Brother Jester out of my room.
Not that I was heartless or mean to him, but I did it all because I couldn't hold back these tears any longer. When the door closed, tears broke that I had been holding all this time. They flowed so fast that even this thin body trembled violently, my lips muttered "I'm sorry.." all day.
Time passed and I was still unable to hold back these tears even as the nurses and doctors turned to me to check on my health and condition, I actually cried all day because maybe my heart was hurt deep after making my prince cry like that. Days passed. and now...
Third Day...
A day that surprises me because... Dad, mom, Selena, Grece, Justin's sister, Luke's sister and Harry's sister came to see me. This is really surprising because they visited up to Paris, a trip that of course was not a short and cheap trip but in the end they got here. When I asked her how they got here, Selena answered that they were using a private jet belonging to the Naomi family.
Well, of course, it's no wonder they can get here without any preparation as if to Paris as you go to the store at the end of your estate. But I'm happy to see them here because at least I can make myself stronger and less whiny anymore. I'm tired of having to keep crying every time I see Jester, at least today I can laugh because I don't know when I'm going to die... Haah, at least I want to have fun on my last day.
"Where's Naomi?" ask Selena
"He went to the hotel where you were staying, he said he wanted to make sure Jester was okay before he saw you" Selena replied
"Ooh, as I expected, she always did what I wanted before I even asked her to" I said, and Selena looked at me with an annoyed look.
"Do you intend to insinuate me?" selena asked annoyed at me, I just laughed in response to her annoyance.
After that, my mother, father, Selena, Grece, brother Justin, brother Luke, and brother Harry also talked about many things, including they asked about my condition that day. But there are things that I regret, all being excessive to me. They looked so sad and none of them made my mood happy.
I know, I know... All because of my condition right? but it's useless if they come here just bring sadness, I want to have fun today and maybe this is my last day to live. Who knows? at least I want them to make me laugh.
I have tried my best to draw the sound of their laughter each but still failed, they all still look moody. There was no hope if I just relied on them, so I decided to...
"Selena, can you tell me about the opening cinema?" I asked Selena, all surprised to hear me ask about the cinema.
"Luna... It's not the time for that, is it?" timpal mom as if mom wanted to forbid me to watch
"Aaa~ mother, I don't have any more time.." I replied spoiled.
"Luna, you better rest first. Tomorrow we consult this issue with the doctor" said the father who supported the mother to prohibit me from going to watch.
"When else, dad?" I pressed him, and at that moment my father and mother sighed at the same time as if they were upset by my selfish attitude.
For a moment they were all silent, I knew they were heavy-hearted to let me go to an open-air cinema but on the other hand they realized I couldn't possibly be stopped when I had already decided something. At that moment he turned to leave the room, "mad dad?" ask in my heart
"A.. father.." chirps me who made dad stopped his steps, dad turned to look at me.
"Where are you going?" I looked up, my smile lifted as I said
"Dad will consult your request with the doctor" replied the father and walked out of the room again.
After my father came out at that time I looked at Selena with my typical smile when asking her for something, a smile that always managed to make Selena could not refuse my request. When I launched my first attack at that moment Selena immediately threw away my face, I laughed a little that made mother, brother Justin, brother Luke and brother Harry look at me in wonder.
Not even my door sentence was thrown, the sound of the door opening was heard. We all turned our attention to the open door and I saw my father and Mr. William come into the room. How surprised I was to see Mr. William here, "When was Mr. William here?! what's coming with the others?!! what should I do?!!" I panicked in my heart
Mr. William understood how panicked I was then, immediately gesture his hand as if asking me not to do anything. I nodded in response to his orders, and then Mr. William's attention turned to Luke's brother and Harry's brother. Again with the gesture of master William asked the two to approach and the three of them came out without saying anything, I was quite confused what was going on. but now I have to refocus on my goals, that's Selena.
"Selena~" I said spoiled, snapped as Selena listened to my potent call.
"What?!! I don't want to obey you if your request is weird - weird!!!" he snapped at me, and I laughed when I heard him so upset.
"Hey hey. Get me an open cinema schedule for tonight" I asked her.
"But you haven't got permission!!" timpal Selena is still with her snaps
"It's okay, at least I know the schedule. So when I was allowed I could.." I wasn't done yet I said, Selena cut it off.
"What if it's not allowed?!" timpal Selena with a question, I sighed and then I answered
"I will be a curious ghost that will continue to haunt you~" I replied in a regretful tone
"Luna!!" simultaneously my father, mother, Selena, brother Justin and Grece shouted my name
"Ahaha... kidding, but please lah~ I just want to have fun. If I don't get permission, I won't force it" I replied
"Tell me!" snapped Selena again as she scrolled her phone to find my request
Not long after we heard the door open again, the figure of Naomi and Jester this time who came to see me. Aaaa~ how happy I was to see my best friend's face at that time, but unfortunately the smile that I looked at her was reciprocated with sad eyes.
"Naomi~! I miss~" I said to her, but my powerful voice at that moment made Naomi's cry break instantly.
"Cheal soon." - Naomi said as she walked over to me, I nodded in response to her words.
"Where are you? what's better?" naomi asked so attentively to me, her hands clasped my hands so tightly as if she was afraid to lose me.
"I feel healthier and more energetic, the nurses here are also better than my old hospital. Unfortunately sometimes I don't understand what the nurses and doctors say, so I just bawl when they talk to me" I replied with a slight laugh, I deliberately kept laughing so that they would not grieve continuously because of me.
"Luna... It's a summer open cinema schedule and venue, not far from here but.... You really want to go today?" timpal Selena interrupted my conversation with Naomi, her hand also led me to give her cell phone with the schedule I requested.
"Huh?! can't!! you're still sick!!" naomi's snapped look of anger and shock that became one, I just avenged her anger with a small laugh.
"I've had the doctor's permission and the doctor's permission" I said, although I lied a little about the permission but I'm sure I'll get the permission.
"I'm going to see a doctor" said Mr. Jester as he walked out of my room
For a moment we were all silent, strange.here was full of people but felt very lonely, no different from me who for two days was in the room without their presence. I alternately looked at their faces, starting from the faces of father, mother, Naomi, Selena, Justin's sister, and Grece, they all looked at me with sadness and pity...
I don't like this, it's not the time we're all enveloped in grief, is it? should we have fun now, I took a long breath to prepare to say something to all of them. Coincidentally when that brother Jester went back into the room, I turned my eyes to him and smiled while saying...
"Listen to me~ I'm glad you guys came here and visited me... But, if only to cry over my situation, you better go home, because my goal here is to enjoy the days happily. I want to finish my dreams with a smile" I said as I said it and it might sound jutek, but I couldn't stand them anymore.
I pouted as I stared at them in turn, slowly beginning with Naomi and Selena as they forced themselves to smile and stare at each other. After that I also saw father and mother who also looked at each other, then followed by Grece and brother Justin who in the end also looked at each other. No sooner did Naomi's little laughter sound, then she said...
"That's the worst smile I've ever seen from you, Selena" Naomi sneered at Selena, laughing as she said it.
"You have to read it and see your fake smile before insinuating someone" Selena sounded annoyed
"The two of you should have imitated me, my fake smile remaining charming as ever!" Grece interrupts Naomi and Selena's quarrel, both of them suddenly look at Grece and say...
"That's worse than what I've shown you!" simultaneously Naomi and Selena said the same thing, the laughter of Justin's brother, father and mother broke instantly.
The atmosphere became so warm with the laughter of all of us, when it was only Jester's brother who still looked glum looking at me from a distance. He was still staring and standing near the door, his eyes that looked glazed over and he kept appearing before me. I slowly turned my eyes to look at Naomi, Selena, and Grece in turn as the three of them were still teasing each other, I no longer wanted to make Brother Jester cry because of my circumstances.
On this third day I'll show him if I'm okay with all my circumstances...
And even better than that, I'll be watching the movie theater open tonight!!
I can't wait for the sun to sink and be replaced by the moonlight, I'm so excited for that!
***THE LUNA WRITING ENDS***