I Borrowed Him : Diary Luna
Season 4: Episode 4

I was silent for a moment and papa sat in the corner of one of the cafes close to the hospital where Luna was treated, papa seemed to be enjoying the dishes he ordered whereas I just stared at him without touching the food in front of me. I'm not so sure what I need right now, whether it's the person who calms me down or the person who's always next to me to support me. Because for me both have different roles at times like this, I have to determine it right now.

Slowly I looked at my face sharply to make papa look surprised looking at me, not usually I feel the need for someone to help me. I'm used to doing anything by myself with this hand, but everything has changed since I was with Naomi. I've always needed someone to help me, whether it's good or not...

"Papa.. I need papa here" chirped me, and yah. Papa's response was in accordance with what I imagined at that time. He was shocked to hear me ask him to accompany me, I always educated papa to be an independent person.

"Why? tumben you ask for company.." asked papa sounded astonished by my request, I threw my face because I believe papa will be disappointed in me who is not independent.

"I have often lost control of my emotions, but right now all I can ask for help is my back." I replied.

"What about Miss Naomi, can't she be your back?" tanya papa presses me, huhah. that question will certainly papa ask considering Naomi has offered herself to accompany me but I refuse.

"The circumstances have always calmed me down, but I have reason not to ask for his help... It bothers me. and I don't want to have a problem with it right now" I replied firmly.

"Well, papa understands" said papa firmly, he accepted my request without a second thought...

"Directly, do you agree?!!" I was surprised when papa smiled at me and said something cool to me...

"Where can a father see his son suffer? if you need papa, as a father it is my duty to accompany his son. Because no matter how big you are, in my eyes you are still a child to papa. Ahahaha.." replied papa then he laughed so hard, I was stunned because of the cool words papa at that time...

"Damn... Papa is always cool in my eyes, can I be a father like papa?" I muttered in the middle of papa's laughter

When my father said he was tired and wanted to rest, I advised him to stay in my room but he disagreed. Papa chose to open one more room despite having to separate two floors from me, when I asked why at that time papa said that papa could communicate with Naomi freely. Papa says he has Naomi's promise to keep me and Luna updated all the time, Haah... Naomi is always overreacting.

I filled my days in Paris with my dad, for some reason I could take good care of my heart. I was often sad, but it never lasted because of the figure of the papa next to me. Papa always asked me to take out everything that was in my head, when I revealed it. At that time I felt relieved, I was lucky to have a papa here.

Not only that, papa occasionally asked me to always contact Naomi even if it was just a base - stale. The idea worked, often I felt better after my brief communication with Naomi. All that I went through for two days, because during that time also Luna was not aware of her coma. If I remember - remember. - this is the fourth day since I was in Paris, so did Luna fall in her coma.

On the fourth day of the night when my father and I came home from the hospital after visiting Luna, Luna opened her eyes. Aaah was not like that, right at midnight on the same day it turned out Luna had opened her eyes. That's the information I got from the hospital, unfortunately at that time I was asleep at the hotel.

I woke up in the morning blind when it was because a phone came in on my phone, still with eyes that felt so heavy to open I immediately picked up the phone. I got news if Luna realized from her coma, at once the eyes that felt heavy to open immediately became difficult to return closed. I was shocked, happy, and also sad of course, I didn't know what to say when I met him. After knowing all the lies, surely everything will feel awkward right?

I got ready and ran to the front of the hotel lobby to intercept a taxi, lucky I immediately met a taxi that was waiting there. Soon I boarded it and asked the driver to drive me to the hospital, it didn't take long until I got to the hospital. I immediately ran back to the information room and asked for Luna's room, I'm sure she's been moved out of the isolation room because she's already conscious from her coma.

After getting her room number, my feet began to hesitate to step towards Luna's room. Like I said, I don't know what to say when we look in the eye. She must have felt the same way as me, I thought about it while walking towards Luna's room.

When I arrived right in front of the closed room, this hand trembled while holding the door algae. "Should I see you this morning? or do I meet him later in the day? does he want to meet me? what if he refuses my presence because all his lies have been exposed? what should I say when I meet him?" that's how I thought - I thought my head was.

After a while, I finally knocked on the door of the room and pulled the door algae to open it slowly. From the gap of the open door I saw Luna lying in the gurney that she slightly held her back so that her body could be a little more upright, her eyes fixed on a television in front of her. I don't know what he was watching at the time, which is for sure me. He saw him laughing and his big smile...

Not long after my existence was felt by Luna, she turned to look at me and that was when I opened the door even wider so that I could enter it. I was silent when our eyes looked at each other, as well as Luna who had a flat face look at me. As I thought before, this will feel so awkward both for me and for Luna though. Yet... Luna was still Luna. she suddenly smiled at me and said...

"Come on, brother.would you stay there until when?" he said it again as if he was insinuating me who was still staring in front of the entrance, I realized from my daydreams and all my excessive thoughts.

I walked in with Luna's eyes staring back at the television screen with Charlie Chaplin's humour show, a black and white humor show somehow that year has been aired. Such trivial things alone can make Luna laugh out loud - bahak, making me even more confident Luna bears a heavy burden that I might never be able to bear alone. But Luna could...he could bear all that, how could it be? am I too weak, or is Luna stronger than I can imagine? I don't know...

I pulled out the chair there so I could sit right next to Luna's gurney, there I just sat there and fell silent with my eyes still. My brain really froze and could think of nothing but the things I mentioned earlier, my daydreams were crumbling when the sound of Luna's heavy breathing was heard.

"You see I'm just keeping quiet - at a place like this?" he broke the silence between us

"Why didn't you say it early?" I asked to suppress her even though I was sure she felt my sadness after knowing about her illness, again I heard Luna sigh.

"Because you used to love me." he said to me...

At that time my brain just worked, in it I asked - ask "What? what did he just say? what's the connection between me loving her and her lying to me about her situation?! he was joking with me?!! she likes to play me?!!" as soon as it was inside my head, I was emotional at that moment after hearing that answer but I held it very well while saying...

"What...you mean..?" I asked stammered, I had trouble not to vent my anger at him.

Our eyes met when it was because I managed to dare to look at him, after the previous I could only be bowed but the current was different. The overflowing emotions due to Luna's unreasonable answer made me dare to look at her, at least that's how I felt before I finally read Luna's diary of this incident.

"It is your love that makes me not dare to tell you the truth, I have fallen in love with you too deeply and when I think about my long life, my heart feels so claustrophobic..." he said, I cut it so emotionally.

"Then you think I'm not hurt by the way you left me first?!! why did you come back to me if you think like that?!! why don't you just tell me from the beginning this will happen?!! Why?!!" I snapped, I lost my self-control back then.I'm sorry, Luna...

"I'm sorry.." Luna smiled at my anger and.Oh, my heart broke at her apology...

I fell back into silence staring at her sincerely smiling face in front of me, I didn't know what to say anymore and should I stay mad at her with everything she's ever done to me? why am I the one who feels bad about her? should I apologize to him? but on what basis? all those questions were buzzing in my head all day...

"I used to think that if you immediately hated me then you didn't have to fall in love too deeply with me that would bring you down with me... I want you to immediately leave me drowning deeper in the trough of our love because it is separated by my circumstances, it makes me think to make you hate me" said Luna with her smile

"I've been chasing my dream that I told you about before. I want to be a singer and focus on pursuing that dream so I can forget you and I succeed... I was a finalist in the talent search and that was my biggest achievement in life... I should have been very happy when I reached the final and just had to beat two more people, however..." Luna hung up her story, for a moment she was silent but now her eyes were staring at the television screen which still displays humor but she no longer laughed with the show.

"In the thousands of eyes of the audience who saw me at that time, their cheers called out my name, the roar of the audience waiting for me to come out to the stage... all the stars that enveloped me. I felt the emptiness of my heart empty and the feeling of pleasure that I should get... my achievement was pseudo in my heart.." that's how Luna continued her story, when she looked back at me with glazed eyes....

"...Separating from you made me understand how wonderful it was when I was with you and I always remembered all those memories." she said again but once again Luna stopped her sentence, stopping her sentence, he took a deep breath to hold his cry. I know that she wanted to cry at that moment, I felt so much pain in her heart as it revealed all of her heart before me.

"... It was then that I realized that all I needed in my life was you. Once loved and loved someone, it made it impossible to forget them... my heart is always thinking of you and my love for you is even deeper.I'm sorry for loving you so deeply.." with a smile when Luna said it, I said it, but the tears in her eyes couldn't lie to me if she felt a deep pain.

She looked strong on the outside, but fragile on the inside. I knew at that moment she was trying not to cry in front of me, but man still had his limits to endure all the sadness. It is undeniable to me that I once loved her to the point of making me feel crazy when I was away from her, everything that smelled of Luna always made me nervous and all because of the magnitude of my love for her... And now when I hear everything she's been quieting all this time, that love grows back in my heart...

I remember how much my love for her once withered before it developed... He is the man I have loved so deeply... Lincoln Luna...