I Borrowed Him : Diary Luna
Episode 53

Brother Justin looks surprised to hear what I just told him, his eyes look enlarged looking at me. The smile that usually always accompanied my days suddenly disappeared, now there was only an expression as if I did not want to believe what I just said. For a moment I saw him throw his face and it was seen if Brother Justin was setting his heart or maybe the sentence he wanted to tell me, but for me... whatever Justin is trying to change my decision is futile.

"Luna, you know where you're from." Justin said, I immediately chimed in. I know which way Justin's questions are, maybe because I'm tired of hearing general questions that seem alkaline.

"I heard it straight away!! I eavesdrop on the talk of doctor Ellie, doctor Richard, father and mother!! what he said now has had a huge impact on me!! I can't feel my legs anymore, both of them are numb all day!! that's not important for now!! stop trying to lecture me!!!" I snapped at her very emotionally, though my tears also continued to flow down my cheeks.

"Luna... calm down, okay?" said Brother Justin, his soft and soothing voice somehow felt so cold in my ears.

For a moment we both fell silent, I lowered my head and let every tear drop fall over the blanket and both of my clenched hands. I was right - right in a condition that was no longer able to think clearly, for some reason I felt... this is the lowest point of my life and maybe my age will not be long...

"You trying to walk?" justin asked, breaking the silence between us, I who heard the offer was shocked and then my gaze turned to look at Justin's sister's face.

"Huh? what's?" ask him

"We're trying to ascertain if you're really paralyzed, I still feel if it's just your subconscious thinking. Luna, you're mentally down and you hear bad news like that. It could be that your feet are just in your mind" replied Brother Justin as he stuck out his hand to help me stand up from the bed, for a moment I was glued to look at Justin's feet until Justin's big smile seemed to encourage me to do it.

I looked at my legs behind the blanket, slowly I opened the blanket and I looked at my legs that looked a lot bruised there. It's not a new sight to see my white skin suddenly appear bruised - bruised like that for no reason, since suffering from leukemia. I often see my skin bruised - bruised for no reason.

I tried to shift both my legs but there was no movement at all, only the occasional thumb and a few toes moved like a spasm. I wanted to cry back to look at Justin, but Justin's big smile when it made me want to keep trying. Until I finally managed to move my left leg to get off the bed, along with that Justin's big arm stroked my head and said if I was great.

Little by little I have managed to shift both my legs down from the mattress, now I sit on the edge of the mattress and prepare to stand supporting the body with my legs that feel numb. Brother Justin took off the bottle of infusion from his holder and prepared to concentrate my body, with the cue from Justin's brother I tried to stand up and succeeded.

I smiled because what Justin said was true, it was only in my mind. It turns out that my legs are still able to concentrate my body weight. Well, of course, my weight is not too heavy on my feet, I have a height of 170 centimeters and a weight of only 49 kilograms... you can imagine how thin I am right now..

"So I can stand up!!" I cried at Justin's sister

"Good! come se.." Not finished the sentence brother Justin, at that time my feet felt so limp and not powered...

My legs flexed themselves and made me almost fall to the floor, fortunately Justin's legs immediately caught my body. I felt a tremendous pain at that moment, there was a pain like slashing on the hip and it made me scream loudly as my right hand squeezed Justin's shoulder very strongly.

Brother Justin clenched my body tightly as if allowing me to vent my pain on him, feeling like I had permission to vent the pain I was suffering... my left hand now began to hit the back of Justin's leg with a tube until some time finally the pain slowly subsided...

I set my breath that gasps and I cry again.How cry I am. I feel the soft clap of Justin's feet on my back, Brother Justin knows how to calm me. Slowly my crying subsided, though I still felt very sad and disappointed in myself. I am now a paralyzed woman, what else can a man like me do?

"You see my brother. I'm not lying about my condition." chirped me as I slowly released my arms to him, as did Justin's sister.

"Help me to get away from Jester's life.he doesn't deserve a woman like me, I'm just going to burden her perfect life" I said, then Brother Justin took me back to lay my body on the bed.

Justin's brother and I were both silent for a while, I was lying on the bed while Justin's sister was standing on the bed right next to my head. I looked at the face of Justin who was thinking hard, I don't know what was on his mind.

"Do you know what's more painful than the pain you just felt?" justin asked, suddenly breaking the silence between us

"What?" much

"Luna. once you leave Jester, your heart will soon be troubled. You'll feel twice as much pain as you've ever felt, trust me because I've felt it" Justin told me, now we look at each other and from that look I feel if Brother Justin is talking serious things with me.

"You.. have you ever been heartbroken, brother? when..?" when...?" tanyaku...

"When you say that you are in love with the man who appears in your dreams." replied Justin.

Like being struck by lightning in a hole, I looked at him and petrified. "Huh..? what'd he say? I must have listened wrong, yes I'm sure I heard wrong" I said in my heart, I slapped Justin's cheek to make sure he was the brother Justin I knew and this wasn't a dream.

"Sister... Justin... This is really you... right?" I asked stammered, I was still unable to digest what I had just heard from him.

"This is the Justin you know, the Justin who has been with you and knows everything about you. I know you must be surprised, but this is the fact that I fell in love with you a long time ago." replied Justin, for a moment I turned my eyes to the window. Looking at the lights of the buildings that adorn the night, I still could not believe what I had just heard.

"Luna.." Not yet finished the sentence Brother Justin, I immediately cut it.

"Shut up!!" I snatched at him

"I can't be quiet, I..."

"Say quiet!!"

"Luna listen to aa..."

"Shut up!! Be quiet!! Quiet!!!"

As soon as my room became quiet, I shed my tears again because I was so emotional when I snapped at Justin's sister. I tried to rearrange my heart and mind, trying to figure out what was really going on.

"You hate me?" justin's chirp and the chirp jolted me, but I was still silent and didn't want to look him in the face.

"I knew this would happen when I told you what I thought of you, but if you've resolved to stay away from Jester?" brother Justin continued his words, I turned to look at him with anger even though tears continued to wet my face.

"I ask you to shut up!!" I snatched at him

"I have nothing and all I can offer you is time, feelings, my future and my life. I don't have an amazing life and you know it, but I'll give you everything. If you choose to live alone in the end, at least let me get involved in your life" Justin's soft voice pierced my heart as he said it

"You don't know, brother!! you will never understand!! Asking Brother Jester to accompany me for the rest of my time I can't afford, what else to let you accompany the rest of my time brother!!" I snapped at him, Brother Justin clasped my hands and looked at his eyes as if trying to convince me.

"I'm fine! I won't mind, because being able to accompany you to the end is what I want!! so, let me do it!!" justin's words forced me, I shook my head several times refusing his request.

"I will not be able to. My love for you. is greater than my love for Brother Jester, that is to live alone without having ties with anyone so that no one is sad when I die" I said to Justin