I Borrowed Him : Diary Luna
Episode 44

In the room of Brother Jester who may be as vast as my whole house, "aaa... What kind of room is this? a house in the house?" I said in my heart as I entered Jester's room. I sat on the sofa in Brother Jester's room with a table in front of me like the living room, while Brother Jester sat at the end of the bed bowing his gaze as if afraid to look me in the eye.

Awkward and confused, let alone my brother Jester who decided to meet brother Jester follow confused. But if this is not the case, how can I restart everything from the beginning well.

"A... What is Luna? ka.. What do you need? did my mom and dad call you? or Luke and Harry asking you to meet me?" asked Brother Jester breaking the silence between us, I sighed before answering his question.

The voice was very much missed, muttered with shame and his words were stamped - taba. xixixxii.

"I heard from Justin's sister you didn't go to school long enough, sorry if I was impressed to not know myself...but is it true because of what I said at that time brother?" much

"Ti. no, it's not like that. A. I. I'm just.. I'm lazy." she replied.

"really?" I asked to confirm Jester's answer, I knew he was lying to me.

"Ka.. What do you need?! I'm busy!" he replied in a slightly panicked tone, probably because I was shooting at a question so sensitive for a guy to answer.

How else, I'm not the type of woman who understands things like this. I am still ordinary in dealing with love, even this feeling that makes me a person who is not opinionated. Sometimes I want to get away from Jester, sometimes I want him to always be by my side. I don't understand what I really want either, nor am I sure this is what happened to Brother Jester.

"I'm here because I'm worried about you, brother" I replied

"I'm.. good - fine." said Jester.

Prince, is it hard to be honest? adorable, but don't be this annoying donk. Haunted guilt feelings are uncomfortable knowing! Aggressive is a little, why should I always start everything.

"Sister!" I snapped, immediately the eyes of brother Jester now look at me but we just fell silent.

"I know you're not well, I am.." I'm not done yet I said, Brother Jester cut him off.

"okay! I'm like this because of you!! every time I go to school, I always feel short of breath!! my heart feels so painful!!! how do you want me then?!! keep feeling that way until you graduate?!!!" snapped by Jester, I was silent.

For a moment I forgot that if I was the cause of Jester's sister like this, I was really a bad woman... after I broke her heart and now without feeling guilty I judge her actions that shut her out of the outside world. For a moment I thought of a way to help Brother Jester get him back up, "Offer to stay with him? aah no. No. I'm too ashamed to say it" I said in my heart.

"Aaa. sis.." I have not finished saying, Brother Jester arrived - suddenly turned his face back and cut off my words.

"Hey... toying with the other person's feelings... How does it feel? toying with other people's feelings.. I was curious...what is it... fun huh?" timpal, Brother Jester, and I also jerked.

I was angry with that sentence, I was also very disappointed. That sentence really hurt, didn't it? but.. don't I deserve all those words?

"Sister!! I don't.." again and again Brother Jester cut my words

I stood up after hearing that sentence and immediately set my foot toward the exit of Jester's room, somehow my heart felt very emotional. Maybe because of Jester's question to me about the feeling of playing with other people who actually I don't want to do that, I feel offended by his words.

But just as I was holding onto the algae in Jester's bedroom door, I remembered my mother's message that all the mess between us was the result of my lies to her. I again thought that if I was the cause of our relationship to be like this, I was actually the cause of the problems in this relationship but I always blamed Brother Jester for the confusion that befell us.

"There's one thing you don't need to know, but it really does affect how I look at you" I chanted when I still haven't pulled the door algae, I turned and looked at the face of Brother Jester who was now starting to look at me with a confused face but I knew he was sad.

"I'm disappointed with all my life, I hate my life and if it wasn't for the love of my parents.I wish I'd never been born in this world." she said.

"I know you're hiding something from me, so I'm asking you to write it down in a diary we bought together" Jester said

"Mom, Justin and Selena said I had to tell you the truth, but I decided to keep it. I'm not sure of your response after hearing what I'm hiding from you, but all you need to know is that I never thought of playing with your feelings" I said.

"Then what do you want from me?! you leave then come on like that over and over again!!" snapping Brother Jester to me, I sighed for a moment before answering that question.

"I never want anything, even if it has to. I just say all my wishes in my life.." I said stammered, I smiled at him and my smile made the expression on the face of Brother Jester who originally looked angry now changed into a confused expression.

"In life I want to be beautiful, I want to be said to be cool by many people, I also want to eat a lot without making me fat and I want to be a famous singer. Is that too much? well, I said one thing I really wanted to get out of my life.." I said it so quickly like a rapper singing the song and hung up my last sentence for a moment.

"I want to be liked by you." I said continuing the sentence I had hung earlier.

"Sister.I am a person who is too sensitive and also thinker..little things I will immediately think excessively, but. I have difficulty to express it well..." I said then walked closer to the position of Jester's brother who was still sitting on the edge of the mattress with a surprised expression looking at me, near him I knelt and held both hands.

Our eyes met each other at that time, with a little head up I looked into the eyes of the little brother Jester who looked down at me. Even my smile did not escape my face, I was already at the stage of just wanting to be with him. I wanted to throw all my ego and excessive thoughts at him.

"I can't tell you anything about me, but I'll keep my promise to write down everything I've hidden from you in that diary. If you want to accept that situation, I'll pull all my words that say if I want to get out of your life, so do I... I'll try to understand more about you because this is my first love, I'm not experienced in this" I said, and at once Jester hugged me tightly.

"Thank you for sticking with me, this is also my first experience of feeling love.I'm sorry if I didn't treat you well." said Brother Jester then I shook my head several times.

"That's not it. I'm the one who actually pulled you into my life, I really should thank you. If you're not here, I might just be alone and might just cry for my life" he said

The embrace of Brother Jester to me grew tighter, along with the embrace I felt my heart feel so warm. Like that it feels the warmth of a hug from a stranger who loves huh? it felt so comfortable and didn't want to miss for a second.

A little more Luna, a little more you will definitely get your happiness with your prince. Ayoo spirit to heal, if you can not recover at least fight to make him happy.

Diary about the diary, of course I wrote it and I have written a lot including a strange love story that happened today. Dear diary's..... Luna Lincoln is so happy right now.. Thank you my prince.