I Borrowed Him : Diary Luna
Season 2: Episode 17

"I'm a girl with leukemia... Do you understand what it means?" I asked Peter who was still surprised by my words, he shook his head a few times slowly.

At that time I was confused as to why I should tell him this, why I should be honest with people I don't know very well. I turned my gaze to look at the end of the beautiful beach in front of me, at once I realized why I had arrived - it was open to him... Yes, I each consider Peter to be my prince... Under my subconscious, I wanted to reveal all my lies to her all this time but I was unable to do that.

"Moon...?" peter tapped me while gently patting my shoulder, I chuckled and at that moment my tears rolled back down my cheek.

"Ahaha..pardon me, if I discuss this. I have always had no power to hold back tears" I chimed in while trying to wipe away every tear drop that had not been held back to come out.

"It's okay, go ahead if you're ready" Peter said

We were silent for a while because I was still preoccupied with the upheaval of my emotions that arrived - arrived uncontrolled, two years... for the past two years I have been deceiving myself if I had no problem with my love story, but I would still cry when I remembered the incident.

After a while I was finally able to control the emotional turmoil that was so explosive, I sighed for a moment and slowly I looked back at Peter. He looked patiently waiting for me to stop crying for that long, I chuckled and then turned my eyes back to look at the end of the coastline.

"Why laugh?" ask Peter

"Nothing, maybe because I'm relieved... Aaah don't think about it, I laughed because you were patiently waiting for me to finish with all my cries" I replied with a slight sound of a small laugh, I again sighed to prepare to tell her.

"Jester Gates, an only child of the Gates family with all his perfection, he was handsome, but the way he showed me his love for me made me unable to hate him." I said trying to remember my prince.

"Then? what's problem?" ask Peter

"I'm the problem.destination that makes me unable to continue with him.." I answered stammeringly.

"He knows about your illness?" peter asked slightly pressing me, I shook my head in response.

"So where does the thought of Jester not accept your situation come from?" peter asked again in a pressing tone

"That's all my thinking, you know.I had a big fight with him for a trivial reason that I made, but his response was very surprising to me... Brother Jester shut himself up and was so devastated because of me, what would happen if our relationship really continued and I...... die arrived?" I asked Peter, looking at Peter who frowned when we looked at him.

"You think he will.." not yet finished Peter said, I cut him off.

"I won't be able to die peacefully because of that." I chimed in with a smile.

Peter may run out of words when we hear my words, we similarly turn our eyes to look at the coastline in silence. I don't know what Peter was thinking at the time, but I feel that whatever he's going to say will only repeat the words of Selena, Justin's sister, father and mother. For me, it's all over, I just want to put everything that still bothers me to Peter without wanting to take any advice.

"I agree with you" said Peter, arriving, I was surprised by his chirping at the time because none of the people who knew about my position would agree with what I chose.

"Well?!" I said as I looked at Peter who was still staring at the coastline in front of us

"I say I agree with your choice, if I were in your position, I would definitely do the same" Peter replied, hearing the answer leaving me with a bewildered smile.

"You're the first person to agree with my choice, usually someone else will say things that don't make sense about having to survive, to be honest, and others like that" I said to Peter in a surprised tone, but I also felt happy to get support from Peter.

"But there's one thing I don't understand about you." Peter chirped again, looking at me with a serious expression, I tilted my head slightly as our eyes stared.

"Why do you... always think that everything will go the way you think?" peter asked me, I was a little jolted by his question.

"Why? yeah because..it's gonna be like that, right?" I asked Peter back, I felt that he would come back to understand my reasons but Peter shook his head a few times.

"No, it's not always true" Peter replied firmly, I scrunched my forehead and looked at him in surprise.

"You're alive today, you should be able to make the best use of your time to be with him. If I may say, you're just wasting your chance to be with him" Peter replied, an answer that left me feeling slapped.

"Ta. but who knew I would die so quickly with him? I won't have time to leave it, will I?!" ask me again with a little bit of a clash

"You think you're going to die fast but you've survived to this point, do you look at all of that with such a bad perspective?" ask Peter

"Well. ii. no, I'm not like that. I mean.." I haven't finished saying, Peter then cut me off.

"If I were you, I would have left him, but before that happens, I would have taken all my remaining time to have fun with him and form as many wonderful memories as possible" Peter said

I fell silent and looked at Peter in my daydream, Peter's words were actually more or less the same as what Selena said at our last meeting. But somehow when said by Peter.... as if he showed me how the viewpoint of the man with my problem, "Maybe that is also what Brother Jester wants? What if I was honest with him then I told him I wanted to build a memory - a beautiful memory together until death to pick me up?" ask in my heart

"Death to me every human being has twice death." Peter broke my daydream.

"Two.... death...?" ask me confused

"The first death when our spirit is separated from the body and the second death when no one ever mentions our name again when we are dead... that's why I try to keep imprinting on someone's heart so that my death has meaning for the people I love" Peter replied, then he smiled at me.

"In this short life of ours, I want everyone who knows me to remember me even if it's been a hundred years" Peter said with a meaningful smile

I felt slapped at that moment, I understood if he was happy to insinuate me over the decision I had chosen even though at the beginning as if he agreed to what I had decided. I stared at the white sand under my feet in shame at Peter's insinuations, several times I felt slapped because I always looked at everything from my point of view.

"Hundred years? maybe only the grandson of your son was left at that time, you must have been forgotten." I told him.

"That's not true!! although it has been generations of grandchildren from my children later, but they will definitely still remember me!!" peter said not accepting my insinuations, I smiled cynically looking at him even without a word.

We attacked each other's words at that time, full of laughter also occurred between us. For the first time in two years, I could laugh like that. My heart was relieved after I had poured out all the contents in my heart that were stuck to Peter, maybe it was because I was relieved and could bring out all the long-buried self-expression.

By late afternoon, Peter and I were coming home from the beach. In the middle of our trip at that time I saw Manda and two women friends were chatting on the side of the road, Manda saw me very clearly on the road with Peter. I remember her surprised face when I saw me walking with Peter, I was sure she was jealous of me.

So I I'll just tell Peter if I want him to stop and go to Manda to explain what happened, Peter agreed with my idea and we stopped not far from the position of Manda who was standing on the side of the road with two female friends. I got out of the car to get close to Manda, but Manda seemed to be avoiding me.

I tried to keep chasing him until Manda finally stopped as Peter ran past me and became Manda's barrier to keep going, I was more and more convinced if I should straighten out this misunderstanding.

"Manda! wait, listen to me first!" I said as I continued to walk closer to Manda

"Explain what else?!! I don't need your explanation!!" snapped Manda at me

"It's not like you imagine, Peter and I were just chatting and it had something to do with your relationship with Peter" she said

"What do you mean?" ask Manda wonder

"Peter, help me explain to Manda about the content of our conversation" I asked Peter, but Peter was silent and looked at me.

"Peter?" I asked him what he was doing at a time like this, Peter sighed and said...

"Manda.I don't love you, I'm in love with... Lunar.." said Peter at the time.

My eyes were wide open to hear him say that if Peter fell in love with me, my ears immediately rang loud enough that I could hear nothing else at the time except a buzzing sound that appeared out of nowhere. Maybe because I was emotional for him, or because I knew this would be a new problem for me.