I Borrowed Him : Diary Luna
Episode 37's

The next morning, on Monday, the date on the calendar was red. Brother Justin volunteered to be my guard that day in the hospital room in place of the mother who now has to work part-time, in the room we just kept quiet for a short time.

Maybe because Justin knows I'm in the ugliest mood of my life, or he just didn't want to force me to talk because I looked like a doll just lying there staring silently at the sky - the hospital room sky. I don't know what possessed me at that time, I was so eager to start a conversation with him after a long time we were silent to each other.

"Is brother Jester looking for me?" I asked to break the silence, only the sound of breath I heard when it came from Justin's brother.

"Why not answer me? is there something?" ask me again

"Jester is looking for you and he is so emotional for not being satisfied with my answer" Justin replied

Bothering the people closest to me makes my heart uncomfortable, what can I do with my condition like this? I wanted to give them happiness, but it was the burden I always gave them. What a sick girl who is useless! (

"What did Brother Jester do to you?" I asked again, a sigh was heard again from Justin's brother.

"She just nagged, I just listened to her every word. Nothing else" he answered

"really?" I try to make sure

"What do you think you don't trust me?" justin's sister asked me so pressured, I was silent for a moment and then somehow I remembered my dream when me and brother Justin vacationed in the next city to see cherry blossoms.

A dream where I saw two people fighting big fights right in front of my eyes but I couldn't do anything, and when I woke up at that moment I just saw Brother Jester sitting in front of the hotel room entrance staring at me sharply.

"I was thinking about the incident when we were picked up by Mr. Jester because we missed the train, I dreamed two people had a big fight right in front of my eyes but I couldn't do anything to get through it" I broke the silence of the room

"You're thinking if me and Jester had a big fight this time?" asked Brother Justin, hearing the answer I immediately lifted my mattress so that my body sat leaning on the mattress to look at the face of Justin's sister.

"This time? so that time wasn't a dream?!" I asked with a face that was so surprised to look at Brother Justin.

"No, that's not what I meant. You misinterpreted my words, Luna" her dream was flat

"Sister!! be honest with me!!" I snatched at him

"What do you know about Jester? about her heart?" justin asked me, I was confused to hear that question.

All I know? I even realized that I didn't know much from Brother Jester, other than he was the prince in my dream. Oooh Luna is so stupid that you don't know much about your prince.

"What do you mean, brother?" just a lot of confusion

"One day you will understand it, for now let my question be a mystery to you. As soon as he recovers and goes back to school, he waits for you in his agitation" she replied, smiling at me

"I may soon leave Brother Jester." chapped me then, my words made Justin's big smile disappear and was so shocked that he said nothing as if asking me to continue what I was thinking that morning.

I sighed and then looked at the clear sky from behind the glass window of the room, for a moment I remembered all my memories with my brother Jester good fun even to the point that made me sad. Just then my tears suddenly flowed out of my eyes, honestly I was so not sincere with everything... I can no longer imagine losing everything I have achieved in the end.

Want to not cry but why is it so hard? I'm very crybaby, Luna..... What if Jester's sister finally found out about your condition? Are you ready to strengthen his heart that even strengthens your own heart you are not able to.

I. in the end more often give judgment to myself because of my deteriorating circumstances.

"I've heard and understand why you think that way, do you know that you have a choice?" justin asked me, slowly I turned to look at Justin's feet who stood and approached me.

"The choice to be honest with him and let him choose to accompany you or leave you, have you ever thought that way?" ask Justin to me

"I once thought to tell him about my illness.but, I was too afraid to face the reality if.." I hung up my sentence and was silent for a moment until Justin continued that sentence.

"He's gonna leave you? what difference? you will also leave him" he said, chiming in on my words that I had hung, I looked into his eyes in silence and tried to figure out what was wrong with Justin's thinking but I couldn't find it.

Brother Justin is right. If I really intend to leave brother Jester, then in an honest way maybe we will soon be separated. I didn't really want to leave him, but I was just afraid to start the day that my prince and I would never be together again.

"You're right. I'm just afraid to start.." I chimed in with my sad voice, Justin's soft hands stroking my fake hair.

"If you are afraid, it means your heart is not ready to end your beautiful story. You don't have to do it according to your thoughts, you have to start being honest with your heart" Justin said so gently

"Honest... on the heart?" I asked with a slight tilt of my head looking at him

"Every time you think too hard, your heart keeps screaming to say if that's not what you really want. Feel every scream of your heart when you think of something that makes you sad, be honest with your heart if all you want is to stay with Jester" he replied with a typical smile from Justin to me, I returned his smile.

"Thank you for the word - he said. I will try to be more honest with my heart.." I said.

We laughed together, after which we spent time with small talk. Again, Justin's feet hypnotized me, without feeling Justin's feet bribed me and I opened my mouth to eat the food. Bribe after mouthful without me realizing I had chewed well unconsciously, the sound of Justin's laughter made me realize if I had just eaten so greedily.

I was annoyed with him, I nagged very quickly like a rapper but brother Justin only responded to all my nagging with laughter. It did not feel like the morning changed in the afternoon, mother replaced brother Justin to take care of me. That afternoon I spent the rest of my life as a helpless sick patient, sleeping, waking up, getting a doctor's visit, and taking medication and then going back to sleep...

A whole week I spent my days in the hospital room, Justin and Selena's sister went to see me and now I'm allowed to be outpatient. Arriving at home in the afternoon I was greeted by Justin's feet waiting for me in front of the main door of the house, I immediately pointed my feet towards the room that I missed so much and laid my body in my bed.

"Where are you?" asked Brother Justin who brought some of my bags into my room, I turned to look at Justin's brother who was busy rearranging my things.

"Lumayan, still often pain in the hips down" I replied and then buried my head back in the pillow

"Have you decided where you're going with Jester?" justin asked, I was surprised by the question.

Rarely did Justin question my relationship with Jester's brother, all this time I always started chatting about our relationship but this time there must be something going on until Justin questioned this. I sat on the bed staring at Justin's brother who was still busy taking things out of my suitcase to put them back in place.

"Why did Justin ask about it?" I asked, brother Justin stopped his activities and looked at me.

"Because Jester looks slumped, you haven't been here for two weeks and you've missed the semester exam. Good thing your friend's family asked for special permission so that you can immediately take a follow-up exam when you return to school" he replied

"What excuse did you say to Brother Jester?" ask again, brother Justin sighed for a moment and then returned to organize the goods in my suitcase.

"Me and your friend said you were abroad for your grandmother's funeral, she didn't believe me and forced me and Selena to tell you which country you were headed to. Well, with his private jet, go out of the country like we go to the next city" replied Justin along with the completion he took out all the contents in my suitcase.

"Sister, what should I do?" I asked, for a moment we were silent and brother Justin looked at me so deeply.

"About heart I don't have a definite answer, but if it's about the follow-up exam then you have to study soon" she broke our silence

I was angry with the answer, but Brother Justin laughed at my anger. With great difficulty Brother Justin tried to persuade me that I would no longer be angry - angry at him, in the end for the umpteenth time I also lamented at him.