Love Is Hurt (Wedding Polygamy)
Season 3's. No more.
"Why is his face pouting like that?" Rimba's sister glanced at me.
"Disease, brother," I replied.
"Later the story, I ate first. Your cooking is so good. Tomorrow bring me again," his god winked a ignorant eye.
I smiled amusedly. At least Kak Rimba's joke can erase the pain in my heart a little.
Rimba continued eating. Actually this food is for my husband but because he said he wanted to eat with his girlfriend so I just bring it for Brother Rimba instead of being thrown out and rubbed.
"Drink, Brother!" I handed her a glass of fresh juice.
"Thank you, Beautiful," teased Rimba.
If only, Mas Bintang like Kak Rimba, surely I would be very happy. I have a husband who values me. But, baby I have to bury all my dreams because in fact the husband I want does not want me to exist.
"Come, the story now Brother is full," said Kak Rimba. Not usually Rimba in the morning has come to the cafe.
"As always, brother. Problems with my husband" I explained.
Rimba looked like he was breathing a long breath. He asked me several times to leave Mas Bintang and let go of my husband. But I couldn't afford to lose him.
"When do you want?"
I shook my head, not until when? I just don't know. Although thousands of times Mas Bintang reduce the wound in this heart. Still I can't just let go.
"I don't know, brother," I replied.
Rimba's sister clasped my hand which was located on the table. Then she smiled warmly while patting the back of my hand.
"Sister didn't force you to give up. But if your heart is starting to be unable, you better let go. Don't force it, it will hurt you later. You can do it" said Rimba, rubbing my cheek. I don't know when the tears fell, suddenly my cheeks felt wet.
"Sister," yank.
"I don't know it's heavy and it's not easy. But Brother is sure slowly you will be able to. You just get used to living with it not being able to live without it" said Kak Rimba again.
"Thank you, Brother. It's been the safest place for me to complain." My eyes are back in tears.
Rimba was the first person to know my household relationship and Mas Bintang. I haven't dared to say all this to Mama and Daddy, I'm afraid they're sad because of me. Moreover, Mama never failed at her hand home with Papa. I don't want to make Mama sick thinking about me.
"So, what's the prize?" goda Rimba let go of my hand.
"I'm ready to make Brother breakfast every morning" I said.
"Good idea." He's poking my chin.
I chuckled while wiping my tears violently. To part with Mas Bintang I'm not ready. Maybe our domestic relationship will run like running water. Without knowing where it will dock later.
"Yes, you're ready. We go straight to the location," asked Rimba as he glanced at his watch.
"This morning, brother?"
"Yes, Nara. Later in the day Brother has a meeting with a client. All of you also learn," said Kak Rimba.
I took a long breath. Honestly, even though I busy my mind with various kinds of work, my mind can not be distracted.
"Come," asked Rimba.
"Just use your car" he said.
"Where is my brother?"
"He takes care of the work in the office" replied Rimba.
"Why, Brother?" I asked when I saw Kak Rimba stop suddenly.
I followed the eyes of Kak Rimba, yes there was Mas Bintang and Mbak Mona. Mas Bintang must not know if this cafe is mine.
"Come, come in." Brother Rimba pulled my hand before Mas Bintang and Mbak Mona saw us.
I paused for a moment while neutralizing my emotions.
"Are you okay?" Rimba's brother cupped my face.
"Sister." I was never as strong as I imagined.
"So, I told you, if you don't want to let go."
If letting go of the Star Mas was that easy maybe I wouldn't have a heart. But don't leave him far away from him I can't. Sometimes I hate myself, why can I love a man who doesn't want me in his life at all.
My crying broke in the car. I started the morning with tears and tears. I should have started everything with prayer and hope that my life would be full of meaning.
Rimba brushed my back while occasionally whispering strengthening words so that I could live out the destiny that had been created for me.
"It turns out I'm not that strong, brother," I said crying loudly in the arms of Kak Rimba.
"You are strong, it's just that if there is a problem of feeling that no one is okay" said Rimba.
There is nothing small about talking about feelings. Everyone will experience the greatest phase of heartbreak. Where all that really crushes the whole body.
.
.
I got off the car. I'm so tired today. I saw Mas Bintang's car parked neatly in the garage. He must have come first.
Mas Bintang served as the director of the hospital in place of Father Sky. Maybe he's not too busy because he's just a doctor monitoring him.
I saw Mas Bintang already sitting at the dining table enjoying a bowl of noodles because it was visible from the smoke that was clumping out of it. It's the first time I've seen Mas Bintang eat noodles, he's usually anti-food. Mas Bintang is the type of person who maintains health and diet, let alone he is a doctor.
I walked past it. No greeting as usual. There was no smile on my tired face. I chose to give up and let everything flow like water. I realized that the heart of Mas Bintang I would never have.
"Just home?" it was her asking that made my steps stop.
I paused for a moment and looked at his back. This is the first time he has asked about me. To be honest, I was a little surprised.
"Yes," I answered briefly densely and clearly.
"Tomorrow Mother invited us to dinner" said Mas Bintang without seeing me.
"Yes." Yeah."
I walked into the room. No more smiling looks that used to decorate the night. There was no intention to bother cooking for my husband's dinner. Already, I've given up. I am a human being with feelings. I can also give up on the circumstances that torment me every second.
"Morum."
I lay my body on the bed. My body felt crumpled, my emotions were really tested today.
"Mas, if you can't love me. Then I will still love you. Even though this pain is asking me to give up. But if I'm tired don't blame me for giving up."
The best level of love is to let go of someone you love and to let that person be happy with the choice of his heart. I disagree with that sentence. However, after I thought there was indeed a point that letting go was much better than defending and eventually leaving a wound.
Seriate...