Love Is Hurt (Wedding Polygamy)
Season 3's. Tranquilize.
However, time can never be guessed. Sometimes feelings are tested by things that are never imagined. The things that make it weak seem not strong to defend each other. Not that weak. But life always has unexpected things. Sometimes the heart feels doubted by the conditions and circumstances. I understand, there's a lot of things I can never do for sure. All I know is that I'm just trying my hardest.
"Mas."
Nara still rubbed my back with a gentle rub in her hand. My body trembled violently withstanding the cry that seemed to want to break. It's time a boy like me suffered the greatest heartbreak when he failed to become a guardian figure for his family.
"Mas, I can definitely get through this."
Nara clasped my weak body into her arms. A warm hug I've long missed. My hug wasted now transformed into a figure so warm for me to go home.
"Hiks hyks hyks."
Nara's embrace as tightly as possible seemed to vanish all of the pain and disappointment that was building up inside her chest. How could Mona have ruined Bee and teamed up with Ikmal just to get me back to her? Does he not know if his actions have made me lose everything.
"I understand how you feel, Mom. But I'm sure you can get through this. You are a strong man. Be a force for Father, Bee and Mother."
Naraku, the great woman I've thrown away for nothing like Mona. As my world crumbles and fragile Nara comes as a cool heart I want to linger inhabiting the empty space in my heart.
"Ra, I didn't expect Mona to be this big. He ruined my life, Ra," my rug pitted. Although I know that all will not change Bee's condition back to how it was.
"This is the destiny of life, my. Sometimes the person we love is the one who first gets us hurt" Nara said. I could feel her tears falling on my shoulder. Did Nara cry to see me crumble like this or did she laugh at me.
"But why must Mona, Ra. Why should he? I should have taken revenge. Not him."
I don't know why I complained about this feeling, do I hope that if Nara takes pity and comes back to me again? Oh no, Nara won't give me a chance to go back to her heart.
Throwing something away takes time, it can't be instant. Let alone releasing someone so dear. Not easy, not easy at all. It's just that, something that forces itself to be released, as hard as it maintains it will still come off. So did Nara and I, as much as I clasped Nara's hand and told her all my grievances when I complained about being separated from her. He will not come back to embrace me like he is today.
"That's because I'm strong. God has chosen me to face all of this. Keep going on everything, Mas. Everything's gonna be fine. I know it's not easy being in your position is not easy but you are a strong man, Mas. Don't be fragile, don't keep lamenting. Face it all."
Every single word that came out of Nara's mouth was like a double-edged sword and was able to slip into my chest cavity. Am I able to get through all this? What if Bee's baby was born without a father? People will assume that my family is not right.
I let go of Nara's embrace and rubbed my wet cheek.
"Thank you, Ra. You want to accompany me" I said, actually embarrassed. I hurt this woman but she came as a wound healer after I hurt her.
Why don't I like hearing a friend's word from Nara's mouth? I don't want to be a friend but I want to be a person who can always be next to him. But I realized that all those desires were unlikely to happen because Nara had chosen to be happy with the Jungle rather than me.
"I'm sorry, I hurt you, Ra. Now I am in your position. I don't think this karma has stopped chasing me. Can I give up, Ra?" I looked at his eyeballs. Lord, if you could put this woman back in my arms. I can certainly get through any storm that comes in front of me.
Slow down, to let go of something that is deeply loved, can not be with time instantly. Enjoy process. If having to be clumsy is okay, it's a sign of still having feelings Nara said. Because every heartbroken person has the right to be a crybaby. The wood will answer everything. How long does it take? No one knows. Each wound has its own time to heal. Every love takes time to grow.
"Mas, I'm gone. Don't say this is karma but a lesson to learn to live better. Everything that happens by God's will. Now all you have to do is face it all with prayer. I have not failed to be a child or a sister. Dad and Bee must be proud to have, Mas."
I nodded while wiping my tears violently. I can't imagine the shape of my eyelids because most of them cry. Since parting ways with Nara I really have no purpose in life like I used to. Nara was a source of happiness, after she left I didn't even know how to be happy.
"Ra," call me.
"Yes, Mas?" He looked at me with a smile. His hand still clasped my hand as he patted the back of my hand and gave it strength.
"Are you happy with the jungle?" my many.
I wonder if Nara is happy? That way I can go quietly and leave Nara. If Nara's not happy, I can't be happy either. Because he is the source of my happiness.
"Why do you ask that?" tanyanya looks at me. Nara, I know you're not okay. Tell me if you're not happy, before I actually walk away from you.
"I want to know if you're happy, Ra. So that I can go quietly. Once Bee's case is over, me and my family will be out of town. Before I wanted to make sure first, if you were happy with the man of your choice," I said.
Nara smiled as if she was okay. And I know she'll always be fine without me by her side. I'm the only one who's not okay without Nara beside me. It seems like after this I really have to bury my dream of getting back with Nara. Even in my heart, I always want to be given one chance to be happy.
"I'm happy, Mas. You don't have to worry. Even if I'm not happy, I have to be happy. Don't race with me. Our way of life is different" said Nara.
What Nara said was different. Our way of life is different and no human knows what life is like in the future.
"Do you still love me, Ra?"
"Nara."
Seriate...