Love Is Hurt (Wedding Polygamy)
Season 04's. Chapters 19.
I know sometimes it feels sad when longing feels so painful. When wanting to share each other unwind, but must learn to accept to be able to meet easily. I want to share my grievances through mobile phones like people do when they feel longing for people separated by distance. It felt so tight and tormented the chest.
I smiled wryly staring at the void in the silence of the night above the hospital cage. Beside my bed was Mas Angga who was deliberately moved to be close to me. Anggi sleeps while leaning on the lip of the bed. While Galactic Sister sleeps on the sofa while keeping watch.
For a week I was in the hospital. However, no family or husband came to ask me about it here. Miris, really sliced like nothing. Anggi and Galactic Brother who incidentally do not have blood relations with me are more concerned than the biological family that I have always loved.
I still remember the last time I met my parents at home. Sis Al and Kak El said that we broke off the blood relationship. That's how much of a mistake I made that stuck in their chests. I really don't have a chance to accept their forgiveness.
Before you really leave this world. I want to hug the one I love the most. I want to babble at papa like I used to. Like when I was a kid.
Dad is the first love of his daughter. Why did I lose my first love? I wanted to lean on her shoulder and complain of all the pain that was so piercing inside her chest.
"Mas Angga," I said. I want to reach out to Mas Angga's face, why doesn't he wake up to see me here?
"Arin misses you, Mas. Build, Mas. Please Arin," I grabbed her with tears.
My whole body hurts, the effects of chemotherapy are really amazing. I not only lost my hair but also my blurred vision, wet lungs, eye infections, allergies and dehydration. That's why I have to be treated in the hospital.
"Mas, are we both going to give up on fate? What about our son, Mom? He will live alone in this dark world. I'm afraid, he's not okay after we're not around. Awake, Mas. You can't leave, you have to hold on so you can take care of our child later."
Yesterday, it was too short. Mas Angga is the best man who loves me sincerely. She treated me like a queen and never hurt me as long as we were in a relationship. Although due to our own loss, we were trapped in a forbidden relationship. However, Mas Angga was responsible and therefore it was our promise both of us. But who would have thought if fate played with the love we built so hard.
Yesterday, we were still here. Enjoy this taste. Never does. I imagine we end up being two painful people like this. It felt like the entire chest and heart were crumbling dimly and shattered into pieces.
"Sister Naro, I miss you, brother. Sorry."
I don't know how my husband is doing now? Was he looking for me when he wasn't home? Or is this what she wants, I'm leaving and I'm not gonna bother her with Sherly.
"After this, you will never see you again, Brother. I hope you're okay even without me. If, after he was born I lose instead to this disease, can you take care of my son, brother? Please don't hurt him. He was not wrong, he was present because of my mistake. But take care of him for me because maybe I'll give up."
Tears rolled down my cheeks. I am very clumsy and unable to endure the pain. Especially every time this pain nested, my body to the point of shaking withstood the pain.
"Son, forgive Mother. You have to be strong, you have to survive. Sorry, if later Mother can not welcome your arrival. Sorry, if Mommy can't hold you. You should know that Mother loves you very much. Mother does not want to go, but this is the way of the fate of Mother."
If given one chance to live, I want to see my son grow up and prepare a future for him.
"With."
Galactic brother woke up hearing my cry. As soon as possible I rubbed my wet cheeks.
"Sister."
Galactic brother embraces my weak body. I was crying in his arms. However I am not a strong woman, I am just an ordinary woman who is forced to withstand this weight.
"Sister, I'm scared. Me, i_"
"Stttt. Do not be afraid, as long as I have you safe," said Galaksi rubbed my shoulder gently.
When the whole world dumped me but there were people as good as Galactic Brother and Anggi who would accept me for who I was.
"Sister." Anggi woke up.
"Big brother why?" ask Anggi to panic.
I broke free from Galactic Sister's embrace and shook my head and wiped my tears.
"Sister." Anggi rubbed my wet cheeks.
"Please, forgive Brother."
Anggi shook his head. She also felt my fear attacking my chest.
I'm improving myself. The new days have arrived. I began to set plans to agree on many things. One of them tried to be strong to face all possibilities and prepare themselves if death began to approach. At least after I left my family name was clear of people's sight. For sure, this pain and suffering will end.
"Figure, if later Brother can not survive until the end. Brother pin him on you. Please take good care of her and take good care of her. Let's just say he's your own son" I asked.
Anggi shook his head, "Sister can't go. You can't give up, brother. Brother has to hold on for Mas Angga and your baby. Please, Sis. Hold on," said Anggi who was covered in tears.
I was too. I want to have a lot of things I want to fight for. Maybe this is how love works. Someone who has not had many goals suddenly wants to achieve this in the future.
Time seems to be playing tricks on me. My feelings are being tested with despair. I was confronted that not all plans could go as smoothly as expected. I was faced with complicated choices. The choice to endure while facing death.
I can't imagine the future. Still able to survive at the age of nine months is already a blessing for me. May I continue to fight until my son is born and Mas Angga wakes up. Even when that time comes, I may no longer be a part of the inhabitants of this earth.
"Sister is no longer strong, Ngi."
Seriate...