Love Is Hurt (Wedding Polygamy)
Season 04's. Chapters 28.
Now everything is different from what was once called a plan. I have chosen my own path, though no one accompanies me through all this. I let everyone stay away, because what it means to keep something that always makes it fragile. I learned a reality I never thought of before. I'm looking for a way to understand what's going on. Although never with all my heart.
I thought this was God's plan because he wanted me to be a better human being. However, it turned out that this was indeed the path of destiny that I had to go through. It's hard to be between the three points between yesterday and the life I never wanted to have.
"Sister Naro, Brother how are you? Arin misses Brother."
Maybe I'm wrong to love two men at the same time. My feelings towards Mas Angga slowly faded after time went by so quickly. Now I love my own husband, Brother Naro.
"Sister, when exactly did I fall in love with Big Brother? Now, I miss the same big brother. I want to see Brother before I leave. Before I was no longer in this world. Sorry, Sis. I can't be a good wife to Brother yet. You have to marry a dirty woman like me."
I am currently sitting in a hospital cage. Some of the hoses ran through the rest of my body. The pain of the hoses was more stinging than the cancer that gnawed at my body. Lately my body has been declining. Starting from immunity to body resistance. It seems that death will soon come to me and make me dust among the ground.
I rubbed my stomach which was growing. I was forced to give birth prematurely due to the weakened condition of the body. Doctor Novi said if not immediately in surgery, my three babies could be in danger even though the possibility of this operation was successful only 30%.
"Mama, Arin Kangen, Ma. Sorry Arin who can not be the best child for Mama. I'm sorry Arin embarrassed Mama."
"Papa, can Arin be a child so that he can continue to spoil himself with Papa? Arin was always in Papa's arms."
"Sister Al, Brother El. Arin likes you guys who are possessive with Arin. Even if it's not the same now."
I miss my old life. Where I became a queen who was always spoiled by both my parents and my twin sister. But now, such a law of karma applies to cheap women like me. A woman who is stupid and willing to give her body to a man who in fact is not her own husband.
"Aragh!"
I feel my stomach hurt. I put a wedding photo with Kak Naro and rubbed his distended stomach that really hurt. God, is it time for me to leave this world? Will the time I disappear from the surface of the earth all get better?
I grabbed a glass of water on the nightstand. My throat is dry and thirsty. Anggi went out for a while to buy food. While Galaksi returned to Indonesia to retrieve my files before the operation arrived.
"Come, Son. We're powerful. We can," I said to encourage myself.
I waited for the water in the glass until the toilet. I've been dehydrated lately. Doctor Novi said my blood pressure was dropping. Some of the particles in my body were damaged as long as I didn't do chemotherapy.
"Father, Mama, Brother Al, Brother El."
I just realized that the average person in the pursuit of death will feel tremendous fear. The chest feels tight and the mind drifts out of nowhere? But I thought of nothing but giving birth to my three twins safely.
"Argh, it hurts so much!" I cringed several times withstanding the pain that spread throughout my body. "This pain is like making my body stop working.
I could not lie down, could not sit, could not stand and could only lean on the headbord of the hospital bed with a blank look. I leaned back to the side because if I lay on my back the pain in my abdomen would learn to enter with great piercing into the chest cavity.
"Son, please strengthen Mother. We must not give up until you see the world. But can you be honest if this pain is like stopping the flow of blood in the body of the Mother," my aduku on the three babies who still remain comfortable in my stomach. Hope they hear a soft voice and pain that radiates throughout the body.
I closed my eyes for a moment. The faces of those I love. Papa, Mama, Kak Al, Kak El, Mas Angga, Kak Naro, Kak Nara and everyone in my life. I'm afraid, I'm really scared when it's time for me to leave but I can't say an apology before I leave this world.
Falling in love is things that are not always able to be called by the word sometimes just incarnate in the eye and gurgle in the chest. So, I just leave all this frozen lips in the face of the eye, in the span of the arm, on the small talk that I hold so as not to pass quickly. I, have labored to curse time with all the rumbling in my chest. Something I ended up concluding as a longing.
The shadow of what happened when Kak Naro stuffed hot soup into my mouth, it was painful. The harsh treatment and dirty words that came out of his lips could not make me hate my husband. L loved her. I really love her. Even my feelings are greater than my love for Mas Angga. Why did I fall in love with my husband? And I know, if my husband doesn't want me in his life at all.
"Sir Naro," I cried while closed. "Sister, sick," I snorted as if complaining that the man was now beside me. "My stomach hurts, brother. My head is dizzy and my chest is tight" I said.
The oxygen stuck to my nose instead of helping me breathe made my chest feel sore. It feels like a wound in there. I want to release this oxygen but I'm afraid I can't breathe. He died while my children were not born.
"Argh."
I can't bear this pain. The eyes that had been closed suddenly woke up when they felt a sharp pain. It seems like the time has come. Arrive when I'm leaving this world.
"Come, Arin hold on for your kids. For their sake. They must live in order to feel happiness in this world. Please Arin."
I cried out in my heart to be able to survive fighting for my three twins. May God hear the cries of my three children who do not want me to leave this world. Let the four of us hold on for some more time.
"With."
I was silent when I heard that familiar voice in my ear.
Seriate