Love Is Hurt (Wedding Polygamy)
Season 04's. Chapters 34.
I smiled at Mas Angga. It's a shame it's not like before. The feeling that once stirred in the chest is now limited to a memory that is worth taking home.
"Mas." I looked at my ex-husband. If we had been married at that time, it would not have been like this.
"Yes, Rin." Mas Angga grabbed my hand. "Why?" ask her with teary eyes. I could see a tinge of worry and destruction clearly imprinted on his face and eyes.
"Arin put the kids, Mas. Love them and prepare the future for them. Arin doesn't want them to suffer like Arin, "please look at this man. There was no more vibration of feeling like before, all those feelings had been pushed by my husband and I could not turn away from him at all.
Mas Angga's eyes are glazed. I know this guy loves me so much and still loves me. But I'm sorry, I don't want to betray. My feelings he no longer has.
"Arin, hold on for the sake of our son. I don't want to lose you again. Although Mas can not have you but Mas happy you are the same Naro," he said sounding soft.
Wherever a person goes he will not be able to avoid death. It will arrive even if trying to run a ten kilo mill to avoid it. He will still pursue. Then me? I don't want to run away from it because as hard as I can try to get away from reality. He will come when the time comes.
Life is only temporary. Nothing is eternal, including togetherness. Although I refused to God's fate because I had to leave when all my life improved. I was afraid, I was really afraid of being in a strange and cold place. There I'll be alone with no one. Without Papa, Mama, Kak Al, Kak El, Mas Angga, Anggi, Galactic Sister and my dear husband, Kak Naro. I'm really going to be alone all the time.
Lying if I'm not afraid. Lying if I look okay. I'm not okay. I freaked. I wanted to seduce God to extend my age for a moment, at least seeing the final smile of my three children. But what if I cannot avoid that myself?
"Mas, Arin's time is over. It's time for Arin to go and leave this world. Mas must promise Arin, that Mas will take care of and take good care of our children," said I.
If anyone knew how much I was suffering from this disease. Even I was already unable to move other than lying sideways with that big belly. The pain I can't explain in words. My whole body is numb. The nerve particles are like being squeezed and paralyzed instantly.
"No, Arin. You can definitely hold on. Don't you want to see our son? They still need you. How do they live without a mother?"
Mas Angga's tears just poured down his handsome cheeks. What mother doesn't want to see her child grow up? Me included. Not only do I want to welcome them but I also want to grow up with them. But what can I do? My job is quite up here and everything I do in the world has a due date. I can't get past that date, because that's when I'm going to leave this world.
"Mas, Arin's disease is already a complication. The probability of this operation being successful is only 30%. That's also for our kids. Arin was happy Mas could fight for them in the middle of death."
To open his eyes it felt like pain. The effects of chemotherapy a few months ago are still there. Wet lungs, eye infections, kidney failure and red spots on the skin. That's why I stopped chemotherapy because I did not want to later it would even result in the safety of my three twins. Just let this cancer kill my body slowly as long as my children survive.
"With."
Mas Angga's cry broke while hugging the lying one. The roar and screams were still clear when I closed my eyes because I couldn't stand the pain.
"Don't leave Mas, Arin. You cannot live without you. Please hold on, I still need you for the kids. I can't take care of them alone."
Mas Angga's voice was still clearly heard in my ears. I could no longer open my eyes. It felt like my head was heavy with pulsations hitting in there. The doctor said, there was fluid that broke in my head to enter the vital brain and I had a right brain hemorrhage some time ago. The pain, I may not be able to describe through anything because I have never felt this kind of pain.
"I'm sorry I left you on our wedding day. Forgive me for asking Naro to marry you. You just don't want to get pregnant without your husband. I don't want you to be the talk of people."
Mas Angga was wrong, even though I was married to Brother Naro. People's eyes on me have not changed. I am still a cheap woman who would foolishly give up the body to a man who was not her own husband.
"Arin, open your eyes. Don't make Mas panic," urged Mas Angga.
I still hear everything Mas Angga said. But I couldn't open my eyes anymore because it felt heavy and painful. Ahh, is this really so if you want to die? May I turn around and return to my previous life.
"With."
Mas Angga hugged my already weak body. I can't even feel her embrace anymore. My body is completely numb and imperceptible.
"Mas loves you. If it wasn't an accident, we'd be together forever."
All events must have their silverware. The accident that Mas Angga experienced was also predestined. My marriage and Brother Naro were also written in the book of life before the world was made. So, no one needs to be regretted by anything. The world will spin on its axis and ravage human life.
"With."
I heard the sound of Brother Naro half running into the room. Hearing the voice of the husband I love, the eyes that had been heavy to open immediately welcomed the handsome face of my husband who was crying.
"Arin, hang on, honey."
In weakness and a body that could not feel anything, I stretched out my hands rubbing the handsome face of my old husband. Our age difference is 11 years. He's obviously much older than me.
"I-ku-nc-love-you. I'm pa-m-it, brother."
Seriate.....