Love Is Hurt (Wedding Polygamy)
Season 05's. Tata Story 37's.
Love is stronger than death, though it cannot stop death from happening. However, no matter how hard death tries, it cannot separate people from love. It also cannot erase our memories. In the end, life is stronger than death.
"Metal."
I hugged my son who was about to take his last breath. The doctor raised his hand and resigned. Part of Lala's blood vessels ruptured and instantly all the medical devices in her body seemed to not function at all.
"Lala, if indeed you can not survive anymore, Mama sincerely release you," I said resignedly.
Lala's body immediately convulsed with eyes glaring upwards. His breath seemed to be choked and could no longer be saved.
"Tag."
Mas Rey hugged me and Lala. "Let's put Lala in God's hands" whispered Mas Rey.
Slowly Lala's body began to stiffen and pale. He then breathed his last breath in my arms. I still froze as if struck by lightning in broad daylight. Tears can no longer come out and I don't even feel my body has a soul. Lost, lost and forgotten.
"Lala!"
"Lala!"
Mas Rey immediately pulled my body and let the doctors bathe Lala's body. I rebelled and rejected a fate that would play tricks on my life.
"Lala!"
Mas Rey desperately hugged me who rebelled about to refuse the nurses who brought Lala into the mortuary to be bathed.
"You must be sincere, Lala is happy there," said Mas Rey to calm me.
Family members flocked to the hospital including my former in-laws. Lala is their favorite granddaughter because Lala is the only female, while the other grandchildren are all male.
"Lala, don't leave Mama."
I think losing my husband would be very painful. However, losing a child is much more painful. It feels like the particles in the body are gone and gone unembedded.
I don't know how to deal with life after this. Mas Gevan and Lala had left me for good and now I was truly living in solitude and bitterness. I can't even imagine my life after this. All the particles were destroyed and lost to nowhere.
"Lala, Mama can't live without you. Don't leave Mama, son."
* * *
For God's sake, it's really hard for me to go through. Without you being with you. It's hard for me to refuse to remember any more, all the memories we've been through. Together.
And I'm here heartbroken can't take it. Your departure and all this reality. I can't live like this, I can live without you.
Eternal farewell is death, no matter how great the office you sit in, how much money you have and no one will be able to avoid it.
#seventeenvsarmada.
My son's body was buried in Pontianak near Mas Gevan's grave.
Lala's body was taken to the Public Cemetery, in the middle of the city. Lala's funeral next to my ex-husband's. I walked blankly, while my shoulders were embraced by Mas Rey who from yesterday never left me.
At Lala's coffin cemetery, it was reopened before being put into the ground that had been dug up by burial officials.
"Good way, honey. See you in the second life" I tried to smile at the end of the wound.
Lala's coffin was put to the ground, and I cried hysterically, but I had promised to be strong and sincere but in fact I was the one who broke the promise.
"Lala!" my yelling.
"Lala!" call Mama Meysa
"Lala!" yelled Mama Ara.
And that shout drove my little princess' coffin into the ground. The cold lands wrapped up the child I loved. Hugged it tightly and even blocked my eyes.
I swear by heaven and earth, I am really not ready to lose. I wouldn't be able to live without my Lala, somehow the story of my life after this. Am I able to survive or give up on the situation?
All the memories with Lala are still attached here but he's gone and he's not coming back. I kept crying, until my eyes swelled up and no longer cared about my body condition.
Lala and Mas Gevan left almost at the same time. They both left wounds and loneliness that made me wail all the time.
If crying can make the dead live again, the lost appear again and the departed come back. So I want to cry, no matter the tears that dry up, I want her back.
The most painful longing is to miss someone who is gone. No matter how long you cry calling her name to get her back, no matter how great your tears echo she won't hear. Because he'll never come back even if he's the best five hundred million times and even waited hundreds of years.
I felt a warm swipe on my shoulder, a swipe from someone who had the burly hands of the man who supported me in every way.
"Try to be sincere, dear. You have to stay alive to continue Lala's dream" said Mas Rey
I looked at Mas Rey with a sad look and complaint. If money could revive a dead person, I would pay whatever price I paid.
I held a tombstone that read my son's name there. I hugged as tightly as I could and tried to feel his presence here.
I want to be angry and yell in front of his face, but it's all free, Mas Gevan and Lala won't come back to me. She's gone forever, haven't I cried enough and why else am I angry?
It felt like a dream that really felt real, just last night I was hugging her fragile body warmly.
And now, he also chose to go and let me live alone. Still ringing in my head when Lala yank away to see her papa. Now they really live happily in heaven without inviting me who is still lamenting on earth.
The entire flow in my body seemed to stop and make me just silently stare without moving in Mas Rey's embrace.
"Lala, Mas Gevan!"
I stared at the two tombs with hearts as if they were sliced away from me. Not yet have I risen from the heartbreak of losing Mas Gevan a few weeks ago and now my dear son is following and leaving a wound in the heart.
Why does God love to torture this self? After being broken by the betrayal of Mas who abandoned me. Now I have to face the eternal farewell of a farewell that will never find its meeting point and even a farewell that will have no end, even if the world is turned upside down five hundred million times and even waits for hundreds of years.
My head really hurt, for two weeks I was crying regularly. Every day bathed in tears in the art of seducing God. I hope there will be a miracle happening. However, who would have thought that I was actually inferior to such a torturous fact.
I closed my eyes, enjoying every pain in my heart and life. I can't escape all this, I just keep having to go with the flow of this life story.
"Good road, Mama's son. Sorry for failing to take care of you. You know, Mama loves you until later."