Love Is Hurt (Wedding Polygamy)
Season 05's. Tata Story 28's.
"Mas."
Tata woke up when she felt my gentle strokes on her head. As soon as possible I put my hand away and rubbed the tears violently.
"Yes." I forced a smile.
"When did it come?" tanyakanya.
"So," I answered hiding the wound behind a smile. "How's Lala doing?" my many.
Tata didn't forbid me from meeting my son. At any time may not interfere with Lala's activities, either at school or at home.
Tata shook his head with his limp face, "Tata's condition is decreasing, Mas. After the transfusion, Lala had chemotherapy."
I donated my blood to Lala because her golongan is the same as me. Lala's condition seems to be deteriorating. It makes my heart hurt.
"Mas promises to do what's best for Lala" I said reassuringly. I'm a doctor but not my part but for my son I will do anything.
Tata nodded. I know how much he loves Lala. Surely his heart was so wounded when he saw his son lying like this.
"You're cold." I took off the jacket I was wearing and put it on my ex-wife's body.
"Thank you, Mum." The nature of Tata has changed a little. He was not as cold as before.
"Sama-sama," I nodded
We were both momentarily silent as we stared at Lala who was closed comfortably without being disturbed by the sound of the clanging of a heart detector that echoed through her inpatient room. I can't imagine a body this small must be tortured by the cruelty of the needles. If time could be reworked, I would never betray my son and wife.
"I'm afraid of losing Lala, Mas. Lala's the only power I have. He's my reason for staying longer."
If I used to be the guy she wanted and always made her smile. Now I'm just someone who deserves to be called a memory. All my. All's fault. All because of my foolishness, I have released the gold of gems just because of useless trash.
"I'm sorry, ma'am" I said feeling that it was my fault.
"Forget, Mas. There's no time for that. Now our focus is on finding a cure for Lala's disease." This former istiku is a strong and resolute woman. He's brave and wise. But, baby, he's not mine anymore. I'm someone who's been considered an unworthy memory.
Throwing something away takes time, it can't be instant. Let alone releasing someone so dear. Not easy, not easy at all. It's just that, something that forces itself to be released, as hard as it maintains it will still come off. Likewise with me and Tata, as much as I hold Tata's hand and tell all my complaints when I complain about being separated from her. He won't come back to hug me like he used to.
Slow down, to let go of something that is deeply loved, can not be with time instantly. Enjoy process. If having to be clumsy is okay, it's a sign of still having feelings Nara said. Because every heartbroken person has the right to be a crybaby. The wood will answer everything. How long does it take? No one knows. Each wound has its own time to heal. Every love takes time to grow.
"Can I accompany you here?" my door.
"But what about Queen?" Tata.
"He has no right to forbid Mas from accompanying Lala" I replied.
Tata did not answer. He refocused while rubbing Lala's head gently and affectionately. Lord, may time be repeated. I want to fix all my mistakes. I want to be with my wife and son. I sinned. I really don't deserve to be happy.
I know that Tata and Rey are close. I can also see if Rey has feelings for this former Istiku. But what right do I have to be jealous of? Didn't I deserve Tata's love? I am a man with no feelings.
"Lala, you have to hold on, son. Mama promise, after this will take good care of you. You're the only one Mama has."
My heart is hurting. It seems that I am no longer in Tata's life. Even he said that Lala was the only one he had. I was trying to withstand the impact on my chest that managed to break the tribe. Trying to keep accepting all the things created by my own stupidity.
"Lala get up, son. Said Lala wanted to be a dancer? You will be at the school you want. My mother will prepare the future for you. Your mother will be everything to you. Here there is also Papa, although Papa is not with us. You're still Papa's son and Mama knows you love Papa."
The tears I had been holding since then finally escaped and flowed down my cheeks. It hurts when I hear that word.
We are still left here with a million unresolved feelings of selfishness. Not us, I mean me, yes I'm still leaving a sense of Tata who now doesn't even want to look at me anymore. What does Tata know? The hardest thing in life is to forget and erase everything about it. I need some time, how long do I know?
Understand, I can never get to anything. If I never really wanted to let go completely. I just want Tata to go through all this with something new. Let all that has been past be truly left behind and dated. Don't bring anything, because I've done the same. I love her by letting go of the story of my last day. However, for some reason the shadow of Tata's face still flashed and flashed in my head.
"Papa's son, Papa's here, honey. Papa misses Lala. Papa misses breakfast every morning. Papa Kangen takes Lala to school. Papa Kangen studied with Lala. Papa misses all about Lala. Papa wants Lala to wake up so we can play again."
I can't remember all the memories that can't possibly be re-enacted. This sick person is called farewell. Moreover, everything is caused by my own ego and I have committed stupidity that leads me to regret and guilt for life.
"Wake, Lala. Awake, Son. Papa wants to hug you. Papa wants to feed you again like before. Forgive Papa. Forgive Papa for failing to be your parent. Papa can't afford to see you like this."
Seriate...