Fake Princess
CHAPTERS 108
Devan looked at me, this time his normally laughing face was as serious as mine. I wanted so badly to hug Devan again, to allow him, my only friend, to kiss me to the end of the world.
I can't do it. “ I have to find him,” I whispered. “ I have to do.”
I took one step back, raising my trembling hand. The skin around Devan's eyes wrinkled as he frowned in confusion. Tears flooded the corners of my eyes as it called out to my power, feeling it roll inside me. I know mantraini, my heart is broken, it works.
“ I'm sorry,” my sigh.
A white light flashed over my palm, missing Devan and flooding him in brilliance. Devan shook and closed his eyes, both of his hands raised in front of his face, and it was all over. I lowered my hands with my weakly drooping shoulders.
“ What is it?” Devan asked gasping.
“ A spell.” I could barely look at him. “ To prevent you from telling Diana to anyone. You won't be able to talk about it, or write it down or even tell someone about the spell. It's a barrier, but only for this problem.”
Devan gulped, his eyes glazed. “ You won't lose it?”
I shook my head. “ Not until I find it. After I find Diana, her spell will end on its own.”
Without Devan beside me? Without Devan beside me always protecting me, making me laugh when I feel desperate? It was bitter, like ashes and blood on my tongue.
Devan came up to me and hugged me. I had a feeling he was trying to remember me, to put my arms in his mind. Her lips moved in my ears. “ I love you, I'm sorry. Please, be careful.
Then Devan left, the door swung shut behind him, and my heart went with him.
The next few days passed by blurryly. I know I should have been on standby, should have been wary of another murder attack from Melani, or at least, her spies. However, perhaps he felt that it was too dangerous or too fast to launch another large-scale attack, as no evil had befallen me. But even without worrying about it, I knew I should think about Diana. I had to sneak Vivaskari out unbeknownst to Melani and look for her in a very dangerous place; Saremarch, Melani's private residence. I have to think of a way to protect myself and save the kingdom.
I can't think of anything but Devan. Sometimes in anger, because he left me. Sometimes I feel like Devan betrayed me. But I usually understand it. I've been convinced of the path I chose, the path that has very little chance of succeeding. Even the soothsayer only gave me a chance of survival of one to three. I understand Devan won't see me die. So I was torn between feeling betrayed and wanting to plunge myself into Devan's arms and demanding that she love me forever.
Everything felt different when I was a princess. At that time I had to witness Devan's genuineness with the other girls and at least convince myself that his heart was there. It's hard to believe that, even though Devan always comes back to me after his sense of romance is gone, he just wants to be friends with me. And Devan must have hidden his feelings, harbored his own, because I would not be allowed to marry a low-class Rithia noble, no matter what his parents' expectations were.
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