My Cry and My Happiness Are In Your Home
I asked for it

POP Gus hafidz

seeing our loved one lose his beloved mother made me feel the same pain.

her crying was so bitter that I could not hear and see her.

'ana sure is a strong anti-woman nur, cry if it can make you feel relieved, but ana hopes that crying will be the beginning for anti-happiness'

"assalamualaikum ummah, hafidz wants to tell if his mother nur died,,, it seems like hafidz wants to join between his bodies, all of you want to participate in mensholatkan also,, yes umma,,, waalaikumsalam wr"

after telling the ummah about the state of his mother nurain, I decided to go to the cafeteria to tell Abi and his brother Nurain who was in the canteen to buy food.

~

"umma, hafidz would like to talk about something the same umma?" ask me at umma who is focusing on opening page after page of the yellow book in his hand

"of course you can, hafidz would like to talk about umma?"

"it's about___ nurain umma!" by venturing I try to express what has been in my heart all this time

umma did not immediately answer, he saw me at a glance and then save the book he had held.

"umma, hafidz___liked nurain and wanted to make it halal for hafidz" by repeatedly Saliva I swallowed because I was so nervous to say all this in the presence of umma, the mother who had given birth to me

"hmm,, is hafidz sure?" tanya umma suddenly that makes me stare not understand.

"the meaning of umma is not to doubt hafidz, it's just that umma has been in your time.the time when the feeling of liking arises easily, without thinking about how in the future. umma remembered very well when umma and Babah said he wanted to match hafidz with Aisyah. hafidz said he wanted to get married later if he had completed the study of S2 hafidz. but now S1 graduation is just in sight but hafidz already wants to ask someone. umma just do not want to hafidz do this without any ihtiar to Allah"

umma stroked this head gently and lovingly.

"iya hafidz understand umma. hafidz used to talk like that because in fact hafidz was not ready to marry, especially with Aisyah who had hafidz consider her own family. but for now insyaallah hafidz heart is really ready and steady with the choice of hafidz. hafidz has also been doing Istikharah prayers repeatedly about this, he said, and the result of his heart is getting stronger without any doubt that nurain is a hafidz choice"

"godly if you are absolutely sure of your decision then umma will support you, but has Hafidz spoken to Babah?"

"yet, hafidz just talked with umma because hafidz also wants to ask for the opinion of umma. about what Babah will approve the decision of hafidz to propose nurain? is Babah marrying Hafidz to Aisha?"

"daughter, soul mate is a secret of Allah and Babah must know it. Babah and umma used to be intending to match hafidz but we did not force. if indeed hafidz has another candidate as long as he is both his religion inshaallah Babah and umma will support hafidz's decision"

"Syukron umma, insyaallah later after Babah from hafidz mosque would like to express the meaning of hafidz to Babah"

umma just smiled as she nodded and gently stroked my head.

well, that's how a mother always supports her child's decision as long as it's good and advises her child not to make mistakes. Syukron umma,,,, the,,,

~

the next day I tried to dare to talk to the Lord about nurain. with a step back and forth I tried to approach Babah who was sitting on a bench while feeding the fish in the pond behind the house.

"why fidz? here sit the same Babah" said Babah when he saw me who was not far from him

"rich ko who is confused why? anything to talk to Babah about?"

he refocused on giving food to the fish while I was still silent at his side.

it was hard to tell Babah, because I was very reluctant to him. In fact he was a very warm father to talk to, he said, even if he was with Lutfhi or Farah he always joked and laughed.

but somehow if I was next to him I feel reluctant and prefer to be quiet if he is talking also only answer as necessary if he asks.

"you want to talk about nurain with Babah?" her sudden questioning made me a little scared and could only nod my head in response.

"umma has told all the same babah___fidz you know, from a small you are a quiet child. if there is a problem you always cover it from Babah and umma. even if you want something you always try by yourself without bothering anyone. From small you are very difficult to approach by anyone, except umma and Aisyah. seeing your closeness with Aisha, Babah is more sure to match you in the future.His father Aisyah is a friend of Babah from our time unmarried. Babah thinks you like Aisyah, but it turns out Babah is wrong you actually like someone Babah never thought.sorry if all this time Babah can not be a good father for you. Babah could not approach Babah's own son, until Babah did not know how Babah's son felt.did not know what Babah's son's liking was"

without my guessing, Babah's tears began to come out while he was talking at length to me.

"not so bah, hafidz did not mean to hurt Abah by telling the umma first. hafidz only asked for the opinion of the umma about the wishes of hafidz before conveying it to Babah, because hafidz knew Babah really wanted hafidz to match Aisyah and hafidz was also afraid that Babah would be disappointed with hafidz's decision"

"no son, Babah is not disappointed in what you want. Babah intended to match you with that aisha solely because Babah thought that you loved Aisha. But after umma told Babah everything, Babah would also support your wishes. even if it's necessary tomorrow we'll come to his house to propose, what do you think?"

"subhanallah Syukron bah__ Syukron ! hafidz was happy to hear that Babah and umma had approved the intention of hafidz. But what about uncle Yusuf bah?"

"you don't worry about it let Babah later who will talk to him. God willing he is a person who Sholeh and would want to understand this"

~

the next day without informing the big family first.I, umma and Babah left for the house of Nurain.

"assalamualaikum"

"waalaikumsalam wr"

"masyaallah sir kiai, Miss nyai, please come in"

nurain's father welcomed our arrival cordially, although the state of the house was still in a state of mourning after the departure of his mother nurain.

we sat on the chairs, and soon nurain and his friend welcomed us.

'asyaallah nur, it feels like this heart is not willing to see your eyes moist because of the ceaseless crying'

I looked back down after a glance at his smiling face but still left a very deep sadness

"sorry sir, the house is not as comfortable as the house of kiai let alone this is still in a mourning atmosphere"

nurain's father said he opened the conversation.

"it's okay sir, instead we want to apologize for visiting the night without saying first" said Babah politely

"it's okay sir kiai, even I am very happy to be visited by Pak kiai. but if I may ask about the importance of what to the extent pak kiai, sir, Miss Nyai and den Gus come to my house these nights?"

"this you know sir, actually our arrival here intends to deliver our son who wants to convey his intentions directly to the father's daughter in front of the father and family. please son, you better deliver it directly"

Babah turned her words to me.

"bismil was bornrahmanirrahim, actually my arrival and my parents came here that is___ I want___ to ask for and insult the daughter of the father named shidqya nurain"

masyaallah it is not easy to say especially directly in front of his father nurain.his taste of throat tongue is suddenly dry and this tongue is difficult to say. this is how it turns out to feel stubborn when you want to propose to a woman we love.