My Cry and My Happiness Are In Your Home
Nurain

Pov Aisyah's

I still can't believe that Nurain would experience something like this in her pregnancy, and that's because of me.

I could see from his shady gaze, there was a disappointment towards me because of the incident when hafidz saved me from that calamity.

although actually it was an absolute accident, but somehow I felt so guilty about it.

"ka aisy, Farah to the toilet first well. ka aisy first just enter the mosque"

farah said as we were still standing in front of the hospital mosque.

"Dad,,"

a call made me have to turn around to see who called.

"how's nurain doing now? is there any action?"

asked Nilam in a very worried tone

"lam, doctor Rini said the possibility of survival for nurain is only 20%. I__i can't imagine what if nurain is not safe, what about the child,,, hiks,,, this is all my fault,,,,my fault"

the cry that I had been holding back from now came out with a sobbing that I could no longer hold.

"isy, if anyone has to be wrong, it's not you"

Nilam hugged me along with a cry that was no less bitter as me.

"now, we are into yuk. we pray that nurain and his son are safe.we leave everything to God"

I nodded and followed the steps of the patchouli into the mosque.

DRRTT

a call came in when I just came out of the mosque and it was from my mother.

"o Allah, son, where have you been, my mother contacted you several times but was not picked up"

the voice of the mother of the sebrang immediately showered me with questions when I just received her call.

it's true, from earlier my phone was unceasingly reads, but I ignored. even some incoming messages, I haven't read a single one. because it is too focused on nurain, nurain, there is no clarity on his condition yet.

"iya ma'am sorry, Aisy has not had time to pick up a phone call from anyone"

"why? you still have practice? didn't you say today you wanted Nilam's nyamperin?"

"yes, it's me with Nilam"

"yeah, now you go home yes. was Alfan's son here, nganterin dress for your show tomorrow, because aisy hard to contact his word"

"aisy, can't go home yet Ms. aisy__aisy"

"aisy why, son? did something happen to Aisy ? ko sound sisy like a cry?"

"his wife hafidz Bu__hiks"

"you're crying, son? why is the same wife nak hafidz?"

asked the mother who sounded starting to worry from her voice

"his wife was hafidz, an accident, and it was because of aisy__hiks,, hiks,,"

"innalilahi, where's aisy now? let samperin aisy's mother"

I also mentioned the address of the hospital that takes care of Nurain.I hope that with the presence of mother here, can give a little peace to me, so as not to be too upset in sadness and guilt.

~

"how umma? is the operation started?"

asked Farah, when she and I had returned to the waiting room where Nurain was treated, while Nilam, had to return to his room because there was still a practice schedule.

"son, we pray that all will be smooth and survive both"

umma said while hugging Farah.

hafidz, however,, the,,,,

ah, I don't think I've ever seen him this worried, the look on his face illustrates how devastated he feels now.

I see, hafidz must have been very afraid of losing his wife because he loved Nurain very much, like me who,,,, was,,,

"here son, sit the same umma"

I nodded and sat to the right of umma, and Farah to the left.

"you must not blame yourself too much. umma sure, you did not intentionally do that. because umma know you since childhood"

"but umma, because of that incident nurain had to experience all this. aisy,,, aisy is very sorry"

again, these eyes let out their clear droplets, because this regret I can't describe in words.

"no dear, all have been there to organize. life, death, disaster, all God determines.we humans can only be patient and rely on Him"

again, umma tried to strengthen my heart so as not to fall too hard on my regrets.

almost two hours already, we are waiting for the process of nurain operation, but there are no signs of the operation will be completed soon.

we all waited in silence, each with his own definite thoughts feeling both sorrow and hope for his second salvation. No exception my mother who had come to follow me but is now waiting with us.

occasionally my eyes look towards the hafidz who is silent while looking down.His eyes are red with tears that seem to hold him in order not to come out.

his lips continue to recite dhikr endlessly as if trying to ask for his strength and compassion in order to give his wife a chance to be able to gather again with us.

now in my heart it is not only about guilt, but also jealousy that I cannot deny.

jealous to see hafidz so worried for his wife,

jealous of such deep hafidz love for nurain,

jealous of the position I used to crave but couldn't get.

TING

the sound of the operating room lights has turned green, it means her surgery has been completed.Our eyes are all fixed on the door of the room, when doctor Rini started out with her colleagues.

"how is doc the state of my wife and son?"

hafidz quickly approached doctor Rini, who had just opened the mask from her face.

"hmmm, her baby is safe, and she's a girl"

"Alhamdulillah"

we say simultaneously give thanks

"then my wife?"

"hmmm, with a heavy heart Aunt says all this to nak hafidz that nurain___dia__he has a koma nak"

with a heavy breath doctor Rini said how the state of nurain now.

all of us who were here, were silent for a moment.so was hafidz, who immediately threw himself on the floor with tears flowing down.

I know how devastated he feels to know this harsh reality.In fact, even my heart aches to see it like this.

"you must be strong, son"

babah said while embracing her son who was like losing control of himself

"nur,, sorry Brother,, sorry, sorry dear brother,, torment"

her cries broke, as we also felt her sadness.

umma, Farah and Babah tried to calm hafidz down, but she was still swept away in her tears by sinking her head on her knees, as if the regret was deep within her.

I'm sorry Hafidz, because I you have to see your loved ones lying weakly unconscious.I'm sorry, sorry hafidz