My Cry and My Happiness Are In Your Home
Too Sick

Aisyah POV

yesterday when I met with Alif he said that hafidz was in Indonesia. I was very happy to hear it, but why did hafidz not tell me before.

disappointed indeed, because the more here hafidz seemed to keep my distance. 'what is possible because hafidz really likes nurain?' batinku.

if I am allowed to ask God for a choice, then I will ask God to make a heart of hafidz to choose me and love me only.

"isy, uh, what time's the practice today?"

haikal asked one of my friends at my place of work when we met in the hospital hallway

"about one kal"

"if so, why don't we have lunch together after the practice? I also finished about an hour"

"thank you for the invitation, but I'm sorry I can't because I have outside business after practice"

"ohh, what about tomorrow?"

"eumm, look at Haikal's doctor, maybe here I'll explain a little why I always refuse to eat together by the doctor. not that I do not appreciate the doctor's invitation just that I feel uncomfortable if I have to eat together without an urgent reason, especially with my status which is a Muslimah with very closed clothes. I do not want to cause slander for me, doctors or others. I think my explanation is more than enough for doctors to understand"

with a soft tone I try to give understanding to Haikal doctor who has repeatedly invited me to eat or go together, but hopefully that way he can understand.

~

after arriving at the house hafidz I immediately entered with a greeting. not when entering I was immediately greeted by Farah with great enthusiasm.

it has indeed become his habit because in addition to being close to hafidz I am also very close to Farah, he I have considered like his own sister.

moreover, I do not have a brother, because I am the only child of my parents after repeatedly miscarried my mother until finally born I am safe. and this is why mom and dad always spoil me.

chat with Farah for a while, until finally Lutfi came and then Farah left me to continue helping Luthfi work on PR in her room.

for a moment I looked towards hafidz who was busy with his book. then I circled my gaze in each room looking for the whereabouts of umma and Babah while asking him hafidz turns out they were out.

without further ado and waiting for a long time I asked him something that I wanted to discuss with him, namely about how Islam views mental health.

and sure enough, I had expected him that hafidz was the right person for me to discuss and asked his opinion on this.

because with so much detail and clarity his hafidz explained to me how Islam views mental health.

during explaining, this ear is so focused on listening to it but this eye was not spared to be able to steal a look at a servant of God who I think is very perfect. Subhanallah, subhanallah,

"how do you understand?"

ask hafidz who managed to make me nervous because I was afraid of being discovered if I had been paying attention to him.

"god willing, ana,,"

"sextime isy"

hafidz's cell phone suddenly shook, and he quickly grabbed his phone. some time he pokus on the flat object and then hafidz smiled when his eyes were still pokus on the screen hp in his hand.

I don't know who he was opening the message from, but it is clear this heart why it is not calm.who managed to make him smile like that just because reading a message. was it when I sent her a message that she was smiling so sweetly? why is my heart so filled with suudzon like this.

"fidz?"

I'm trying to divert his attention back to focusing on what we're discussing

"fidz, who's the message? ko anta smiled like that?"

"uh, yes isy. ko not from anyone. how did we get to the discussion?"

I replied a little disappointed, because hafidz was hiding something from me. But what? or is this just my guess that arises because of my selfishness?

"fidz, can you just say something that might be a little privacy?"

I dared to ask something that I had kept in my heart without daring to ask directly to hafidz.

because I'm afraid that this heart can't accept if it turns out the answer is true, but this time it might be the right time, and I also have to be ready if the answers I hear will make my heart ache.

"ask pa isy? ko even bengong that?"

"eumm, look, what's anta__actually__"

"assalamualaikum"

the sound of someone coming in from the door kept me from continuing my question, and it turned out to be umma.

"waalaikumsalam wr"

answer me and hafidz together.

"there is Aisha"

"ummas"

I stood up to greet him and then we hugged each other as usual when we met.

"where did you just play here? umma kangen loh same aisy because it's not here long enough"

"iya umma Afwan, because the cottage is again a holiday then his schedule of practice outside the solid.so just to play here although in fact aisy is also very kangen the same umma and Farah"

"yes no papa dear name is also a duty. how are the same mother healthy father?"

"Alhamdulillah is healthy, but still has not returned from Malaysia"

"Alhamdulillah then. oh yes fidz how has there been an answer from his family nurain?"

tanya umma turned her talk to hafidz. But hafidz did not answer her directly, she instead looked at me with a gaze that I did not understand.

"the fidz? how is there an answer yet?"

umma once again asked something that I did not understand.but I also wondered in my heart what about the family of Nurain? the answer to what the nurain family should give to hafidz?. This heart is increasingly unsettled to hear the umma say something related to nurain.

"su__ has umma"

hafidz answered in a nervous tone, still looking at me.

"what's his word? nurain accepted your proposal, didn't he fidz?"

DEG

this heart seems to stop beating when I hear what umma. hafidz said proposing to nurain? by when? why didn't he tell me?

O Allah, is this sick to the heart when it hears the fact that a loved one loves another? it feels like the heart has stopped beating and the body is very difficult to move.

"umma, hafidz Aisyah, excuse me there is a business that must be resolved immediately. assalamualaikum"

without waiting for an answer I came out of the house and immediately left the boarding house.

why fidz? why did that Setega to me? is this the reason all this time your attitude has changed? why fidz?

I cried so much in my car with a chest that was getting crowded because of his sense of sakiittt once knew all these facts.astaghfirullah, Allah.