My Cry and My Happiness Are In Your Home
childish

would I be too selfish if for now not to listen to any explanation from my husband or doctor Aisyah?

I don't know why my heart hurts so much when I hear my daughter calling another woman 'mama', let alone that I saw Naura seemed so close and loved Doctor Aisyah more than anyone.

was it during my coma that doctor Aisyah took care of my daughter? but why should Dr Aisyah? why not umma or Ning Farah? why should anyone else?

or does this family expect Doctor Aisyah to be my successor because I am the one who never realized from my coma? then Gus hafidz, why did he also let the doctor Aisyah take care of Naura? did she also think that I would never wake up from my coma again? so that my own husband also seemed to have prepared a surrogate mother for our daughter?

aaahhh,,, all those questions and prejudices gathered in my head as if to master my heart that was currently being emotionally charged.

suddenly there was a knock on the door of the room.

"de, can I come in?"

said the father from behind the door of my room that was slightly open.I just nodded slowly while looking at the father who was staying in the doorway.

"dad can sit near you?"

I nodded my head again in response to my father's question.

"how? is her heart calm now?"

father said as he sat beside me and embraced my shoulder affectionately.

"Ade, if you were sad for something, you always said to me, if the toughest test in life actually arises from our own body, the heart.Why the heart? for only the heart can feel happy, weeping, laughing and sometimes despair, but not only does God create the heart as a place to store all feelings, but God does not only create the heart as a place for all feelings, God also created the mind which functions as a controller for our hearts if it turns out that our hearts are wrong or too far prejudiced"

I looked at my father in a bit of confusion, as I was unable to digest the meaning of what my father had just said.

"pak Kiai has explained everything to father.he said when Naura who was a baby was crying and did not want to drink formula, all panicked because your daughter did not stop crying, she said, nothing calms her, including your husband's hafidz, but after Aisyah's holding the tiny baby, the baby easily falls silent and Bahakan falls asleep in her arms. maybe the baby misses a mother's embrace, and that's what he got from Aisyah, of course after you as his biological mother. we never know how the instinct of a baby when he seeks comfort from someone who thinks has maternal instinct, although we have also been a baby but we do not remember all that is not it? many times nak hafidz forbade even expel Aisyah from taking part in caring for and nurturing Naura, because according to her with the presence of Aisha hafidz fear that if you realize it will be hurt again when you see Aisyah who takes care of your child,,,"

"but why should I call doctor Aisyah with the name mama well? can't call her Aunt or anything else"

I said cut off Dad's words

"well, father also thought equally fondly.but the call came out of Naura's own mouth, repeatedly Aisyah taught Naura to call her Aunt, but Naura who just learned to talk continues to call her by the name of mama even until now.from there the father thinks, maybe Aisyah's affection for Naura is as great as you love your daughter. honey, that little boy is just like an angel, still holy and innocent so they can feel which ones sincerely love them and which ones do not. Importantly your position is not replaced by others, he said, you're still her biological mother, still the wife of Gus hafidz athary and that's never going to change. consider the presence of Aisyah at that time as a will for your daughter to get a mother's affection for a while during your coma.It is important Naura knows who her biological mother is, and she is, even when she first met you she knew right away that you were her mother, and I was sure, Naura knew all that from Aisha. so according to father there is no intention in the least for Aisyah to separate you from Naura. You understand what father means? right now your heart is tested, son, remember not only to use your heart but use your mind as well, so you can judge everything wisely"

dad stroked my head gently

"yes already, now it's night you rest well. Dad also want to rest, tired of the trip just now right"

then my father got up after kissing my forehead.

"oh yes one more, do not be angry with your husband well let alone to silence him. Kasian, he has been faithfully waiting for you for several years well"

said the father while turning his back looking towards me, I just nodded. and the father resumed his steps leaving my room.

"can you come in?"

gus Hafidz asked as he opened the door of the room, I just looked at him at a glance without giving an answer. Because honestly, I was still upset with my husband. why the time in Surabaya he did not tell me about the doctor Aisyah who was so close to Naura.

"are you still mad at me, brother?"

ask again after he sits on the edge of the bed

I was still reluctant to talk to her, so I focused on my activities to pick up a change of clothes in the closet, I went straight to the bathroom to change my clothes that I haven't changed all day.

"why go to the bathroom and change her clothes? usually you always change clothes here even if there is a brother"

I was silent for a while, but I decided to change my clothes in the bathroom.

actually I'm not good at doing this, or rather not the heart. Because maybe Gus hafidz has a wish on me, because ever since I realized from my coma, Gus hafidz has never touched me again for fear that my body has not completely healed.when I know, he tried his hardest to resist his will.

but if tonight I have to serve her as a wife, it's uncomfortable if my heart still hasn't completely regained its composure.

after I finished changing clothes, I went back out and immediately landed my body on the bed.

I know this is very wrong, but I'm just an ordinary human being who sometimes can't control my emotions when angry.

"hmm, yes, my brother's in love back"

his words, without me responding even a bit.

"honey, are you really sleeping?"

I felt the touch of his hands curled around my waist, and occasionally kissed my hair as if he wanted to lure me into responding to his mischievous behavior.

actually my faith began to waver when b**r her explore my l*h*r. but I was still wrong with the man who was my husband status. so I decided to close my eyes as if I had fallen asleep.

for a while Gus hafidz was still surfing with his naughty hand-touch actions and I was still firm with my stance of not giving any response to what my husband did. until then I felt his hands start to stop touching me, maybe he gave up.

and sure enough, when I turned my body to face him.the man who did mischief was now asleep with his hands touching my sen*t*f area.

I want to laugh to see it, because honestly for me this is funny, even though this is actually an act that is forbidden in religion because I indirectly reject the wishes of my husband.

even if Gus hafidz continues his activities, I will respond because after all I am a woman who also has a passion if constantly provoked by my opposite sex.

but yes, maybe tonight is not the time for us to play a role in getting the rewards of jihad, hehe

'forgive your childish wife this yes my husband'