My Cry and My Happiness Are In Your Home
Prejudice

"honey, wake up while drinking milk"

as always, my husband will be on standby and always on time to wake me up from my napping routine.

since Pregnancy, Gus hafidz has become very protective of me. especially when the doctor says that my blood is always less when examined makes Gus hafidz pay more attention to me.

"you have slept for an hour, now you wake up. Drink the milk of the ashes eat fruits. My brother is ready for all of it"

with her eyes still not fully open, I tried to get up to sit down.

"what's Umi and Abi's love inside? healthy well son, always support all activities of the umi for the health of both of you"

I smiled watching my husband who was so happy to take Dede baby in my stomach to chat while stroking my stomach gently.

"it feels like you can't wait another four months to meet our baby.Hopefully God will deliver all your births, and God is healthy for you and our children"

"amen, O God, amen"

"just pick up the phone first"

I ate all the fruit that Gus hafidz had brought me while waiting for him to finish talking to someone over there.

sometimes Gus hafidz smiles behind his words, I don't know what the person behind his phone said, but obviously lately I really like to see him laugh.

in fact, not infrequently I always look at my husband's face as fixed as if tomorrow I can not see his face back

"why did you see that brother?"

gus Hafidz's question made me realize

"no, I love to see you smile"

"you're well, getting pregnant is getting more flirtatious anyway"

"dih, who's the flirtatious one, but by the way who just called bang"

"oh, it's Miss Reyan said the day after she wanted to go to Indonesia right to Sukabumi. and Abang also had to go there, because he wanted the largest calligraphy painting survey there. think you don't papa brother stay a while?"

"hmmm, nur's coming?"

"don't dong baby, you're pregnant. Brother does not want you to tire continue to impact the health of you and our baby"

"god not tired ko bang, just sitting in the car seat alone"

"then don't come now, Brother still not calm if you have to go far. anyways Brother not long ko, the night also has come home inshaallah"

"yeah, I'm not coming"

"but you're not angry, are you, brother?"

"no, I understand ko"

answer me with a smile, even though I really want to come along because since her innate pregnancy always want to be close to my husband.

but I also did not want to make my husband worried, and I was forced to obey his words.

~

"dad's assalamualaikum"

greet me to dad while we're making a video call through WA

"waalaikumsalam son, how are you and your future granddaughter healthy?"

"Alhamdulillah healthy well. father himself how healthy?"

"Thank God you're also very healthy"

"dad, when are you going to Bandung? Ade Udeh misses out on dad"

"yes son, I'm sorry I haven't had time to Bandung. insyaallah later when the event tasyakuran seven months you father try to make permission to go home"

"really yeah yeah yeah, Ade's waiting for his arrival"

"god willing, son, oh yes where is hafidz? don't you look?"

"again shower, want to get ready to Sukabumi in a moment well"

"are you coming, son?"

"not well, not in permission to fear the fatigue of his words"

"yes it is as good as not, you just wait at home while praying your husband to be safe and his business smoothly"

especially since the departure of mother, only father where I complain and spill all the yearning.

my brother is very difficult to contact because he is too busy with his activities as a TNI, only occasionally we exchange news.it is also if by chance my brother is taking a break from his activities.

"honey, can you get your brother's shirt which__loh ko your eyes are moist? wh why? you're a crybaby?"

Gus hafidz who was still wearing a towel immediately approached me when he saw me who was crying.

"don't ko bang, just abis vc an same father so nur kangen deh want to meet"

"kirain Abang someone hurt you, we doain aja let the father be healthy always.if you are not pregnant again would have asked you to make it to Surabaya and father, if you are not pregnant, then you will be invited to visit Surabaya, but your current circumstances do not allow for long journeys"

"iya nur ngerti ko bang, after all I've seen the face of the father just so his kangen a little treated"

"don't cry anymore well, kasian Dede her baby. if the cry of the umi must be in the stomach also cry"

gently Gus hafidz wiped the rest of my tears that were still on my cheeks.

"Don't stay in Sukabumi for long"

I said while confirming the buttons on my husband's shirt

"you, the more here his cheeks become fuller yah"

"i mean that big fat brother"

I pretended to be offended by the words of Gus hafidz who indirectly called me fat

"not fat but contains dear hehe"

"just know"

"no papa oruh, so if you again ginges more and more Gambang pinch your cheeks hihi"

"nudelins"

"hehe, don't frown so dong. kan Abang want to go time on the face pout so. even if you are chubby but pretty ko tetep"

"Dragon"

once again I feel heavy releasing the departure of my husband who only one day. somehow my heart is always restless if far from my husband.maybe this is just the innate hormones of my pregnancy?

"just one day ko, insyaallah tomorrow night also Abang is here again.not papa yah Abang stay for a while.yeah already interracial brother ahead before leaving well"

I just nodded while holding back the tears that were so easy to come out.

after saying goodbye to all the families, my husband immediately left with his car. And I still feel at home looking at the car that continues to drive it until it is lost behind the boarding gate.

~

during the day, when I just returned from the streets with BI Nani, suddenly the house was filled with people who passed by.

I don't know who they are, for sure they are not from among the usual santri cleaning schedule at the umma house

"BI, what's the matter with so many gini people?"

I asked BI Nani who was beside me, but aunt only shook her mark and did not know anything.

I walked into the house with my aunt following me from behind.

"son,, hiks,, hiks"

with a little running umma immediately hugged me accompanied by sobs of tears that were so bitter

"umma, what's wrong? why is everyone gathering here?"

ask me who still does not understand what happened

"you're patient, son, hyster, hysterics, hysterics"

I did not answer umma's words, and only pokus walked forward trying to approach the crowd of people who were in front of me.

with trembling legs, I approached the figure lying on the cover of the kaf*n.

I sat next to him, trying to open the cloth even though this hand felt stiff for me to move.

this body was so trembling, holding back the fear that had just come to my heart.

"babeel,,,,"