My Cry and My Happiness Are In Your Home
Badan Proposal

Aisyah POV

finished eating I went back to the room, it just so happened that today there was no practice schedule so I just spent some time at home. I open my phone while laying down on the bed hoping there are replies to incoming messages from someone who I always wait for news. apparently there is still no reply to messages from him, he said, though almost every day I send her a message via WA but still not in R also by her. kesel really her as if I am not important to her. I threw my phone slowly on the bed and then I drowned my face in the pillow 'basic breeze you fidz' I said in my own upset heart.

drrrttt

drrrttt

finally he replied also WA from me, I immediately took the phone that was lying earlier, I opened it with a feeling of hope. turns out,,,,, I just took the phone that was lying there,,,

{assalamualaikum de aish, today is about busy no huh? if you do not, ka Alfan would like to ask for help to de aish come to the place of home learning children can?}

A message came in from someone I knew very well. Alfan his name, he was my senior brother when on campus, his propesi in addition to doctors he also set up a study house for orphans and poor pakir. actually I was amazed at her because at her young age she could do a lot of things that were beneficial to others, and that she did it selflessly.

since college he always approached you until we were close, I actually knew that he had a special feeling for me, that's what I know from her cousin who happened to be in class with me at the time, but I chose to pretend I didn't know, because I was scared, I will hurt her because I cannot repay her feelings towards me because this heart space has been filled by her, by hafidz my little friend and my little teacher and it's still the same today.

{waalaikumsalam wr wb, insyaallah ka later aish try. but if Aish can not attend let Yasmin replace him}

{iya is okay. but Kaka hope aish can attend}

I just read the message from him without replying, because my answer was enough.

'you where the hell is fidz, what else? so busy kah that there has not been a single message from me that you reply' my inner.I think I can not wait for a reply from him, he said, I'd better call in person who knows he's gonna pick up my phone. bismillah,,,,,, uh,,,

"assalamualaikum hafidz" I said when the phone I had been connecting to was finally picked up as well

"waalaikumsalam wr wb" he answered briefly

"kaefa haluk?" ask me again

"Alhamdulillah" he replied briefly

"what, ana interrupts your time?"

"no, why ish call ana? anything important?" his question was like there was no longing for me, I don't know the more here I feel hafidz the more distance from me. once again I try to talk as usual to him. there was actually one question that I wanted to ask her, but I was embarrassed to ask her. I was silent for a while, and I finally ventured to ask her now, now, well even just through a phone connection, I think it's better so that hafidz also can't see the hue of my face that is really nervous.

"is there no plan for, um, getting married?" ask me with a really nervous tone.

"kalo for that I don't know yet anyway" he answered accompanied by a small laugh, whether what he meant behind the laughter maybe he considers my question funny or silly I don't know, either, but at least with a laugh it makes me nervous a little disappear.we just dissolve in ordinary chat, nothing special even though actually what I hope is a little code from him, he said, that she harbors hope with me, but it seems I need to be more patient to wait for her.

~

at home learning, I try to focus on the children who are now in front of me.

"ka aish,, it's a good color for the sky is bright blue what is cloudy blue" asked salsa, one of the children who studied at home.

"what would you like salsa to do? cheerful or rainy or what?" ask me back to salsa

"eum, what yes" salsa scratched her head as if she was confused by what was in her picture

"ah yes mending it yes, thanks to Alfan" salsa smiled happily while returning to her seat

"I don't think aish will be Dateng, you know already first from brother" he said while smiling kindly to me

"yes ka, I happen to not be busy today" I replied if there is, I, actually besides not being busy I was deliberately early here just to make my heart more calm, because my conversation and hafidz was not getting any answers I wanted.

"aish, can Kaka talk to Aish for a second? but not here later after learning the children are finished if Kaka may want to take aish somewhere"

"where are you? I'm sorry before it wasn't aish just resisting, "I hung up my words for fear of offending her

"iya Kaka understood, sister just wanted to invite aish to eat ko in the open and surely her many people to pass by" his words had understood my fear that would cause slander if I had to chat in a quiet place

"but aish bring your own car"

"yes, Aish bring aish's car and Brother bring big brother's car so we won't be drinking in the car"

"well, let aish catch my sister's car from behind"

ka Alfan only smiled nodding in response to agree to my request.

~

at a restaurant I and ka Alfan sat with each other to keep their distance.We ordered drinks and a little snack to fill our stomachs are not too hungry.

actually I'm not comfortable sitting here with someone who's not my mahram, even with hafidz if we go out to eat we always rame-rame never both unless we were in the house was still witnessed by our family.but what power, what power, I do not feel good if I continue to refuse ka Alfan's invitation, because actually this invitation is for the umpteenth time against me so I feel bad if I have to refuse him back.

"aish, thank you for accepting my sister's invitation this time" she said as she looked at me with a gaze that I knew the meaning behind her.

well, that look was a look of love, a look of hope but again I could not return that gaze, all I did could only turn my face away from her. Thank God I wear a veil so that it doesn't contrast too much if I try to avoid looking at me.

"yes you're the same. If you can know what you want to talk to Aish?" ask me to the point not to be too long together even in the open, but I feel uncomfortable.

"aish,, actually, big brother wanted to give this to aish" he took out a small dark blue box from his suit pocket.

"what is ka?" ask me in a plain tone

"you open it first" Ka Alfan put the little box in front of me. I hesitantly picked up the box, I slowly opened it and,,,,, I, I,,, a white-eyed ring was stored beautifully in the box.I could not deny I was fascinated by the beauty of the ring but, what does it mean to Alfan by showing this ring to me. I turned my eyes to Ka Alfan asking for an answer on the meaning of all this.

without warning ka Alfan stood up from his seat and then gathered right in front of me.

"aish, it took me a long time to gather up my courage to this day, I am not a perfect man who can promise you much perfection over your life, but here I gather the courage to say that I promise to always take care of you because of Him, making you smile at every moment with me, and for sure I will always try for us to always be able to step together side by side in search of his Ridho.

aish, I'm sorry if today I was presumptuous to do this without your permission, but I'm hereby trying to prove that this heart has truly chosen you, that this heart can only look at you. If you receive my proposal then put the ring on your chest behind your palms, but if I'm not your choice then you can put the ring back on this table" sober all the eyes of visitors to this restaurant is on me, I'm shocked as to what ka Alfan did, I'm shocked, I never thought he was this brave.

God what is this, if if if I have a hafidz in front of me then without thinking I immediately accept it, but this,, what should I do??? what answer should I give