My Cry and My Happiness Are In Your Home
that love, that, never existed

Aisyah POV

"aisy, I'm disappointed in you. Why are you acting like that to Alfan's son?"

for the first time she said to me in a tone filled with anger

"Mom, calm down. don't be emotional, we'll talk about it well just like Aisyah"

dad tried to calm mom from her anger.

"mother is disappointed with Aisyah well. why did she have to take a unilateral decision? not that time had agreed that their marriage would be held for about six months again, but this suddenly Aisyah asked to be pushed back again.what the hell do you think again isy?"

I just kept quiet to let mom finish her anger at me over being so today, where I said that I wanted to postpone my wedding with ka Alfan when ka Alfan and his father visited the house to determine everything.

"son here sit with father. from the beginning son Alfan came to this house to express his intention to propose you and you accept it on your own will, right, there is no coercion of our sari or from anyone, but why when nak Alfan and his family want to determine the wedding day instead delay it suddenly? can you tell me why?"

gently dad tried to invite me to talk. I was confused what to answer, because I did not want to make dad angry let alone sad if I know the reason I resigned the wedding time, because,,,,,,, if I want to,,,, I am still confused with my own heart.

I'm not really sure yet, if hafidz is no longer in this heart, because this heart still feels warm when it sees him.

"yes if you don't want to tell the same story father or mother. Dad only wishes the best for you, for your happiness"

keep me going while stroking my hijab.

"thank you father. aisy just needs time to really convince aisy's heart"

"my dear, father and mother will always support you as long as it is good"

we also hugged each other.

that's how my parents, always support every decision I take but do not hesitate to gently advise if I am wrong.

~

"is Aisy here?"

as usual, Farah always greeted me cheerfully.

"mom,, mama"

"masyaallah gems really ateu"

Farah kissed her fatigued voice who began to learn to talk.

"here, now replace the same aunt aisy yah her sling"

i, Aisyah took Naura from Farah's sling

"eummm,, very fragrant anyway, go where the darling of Aunt in the morning is already beautiful aja"

I said as I kissed Naura's wrath already in my sling

"want to take a walk with Abang ka"

farah said in a somewhat quiet voice like she did not want anyone to hear

"where?"

ask me curious

"don't know, you don't know.Maybe to the villa has a tea nurain ever loved Brother"

"who did you say?"

"that's the assumption Farah aja anyway. about it since the tea nur brought to Surabaya with his father. Abang often alone there.ever time that Abang want to live there alone with Naura, but umma and Babah forbid because umma feel bang hafidz not ready if you have to take care of Naura alone"

well, since the departure of Nurain left this house the life of hafidz increasingly chaotic.there was never again a smile let alone laughter on his face.

he became very quiet and like unkempt. ranging from his hair that became thick and even his thin beard that used to always adorn his handsome face now he left unkempt.

I always look at it with tears because for me, now hafidz seems to lose some of his life.

and I understand, why there is a story about Laila and majnun. because of her great love for Laila, make kais like a majnun.aktunnya hafidz currently on his wife.

"Ang so take Naura for a walk?"

hafidz suddenly came out of his room and Farah immediately asked, but there was no answer from him.

Hafidz looked at me who was holding Naura with a sharp look, as if I should not touch her child.

"let's let Farah be fat again"

without waiting for long I immediately gave Naura to Farah, and hafidz immediately took it from Farah.

"Farah, are you as good as accompanying your brother for a walk? because ka aisy is not calm if hafidz just go alone with Naura. is nothing, Naura is still a baby and you certainly know it is not easy to go carrying a baby without anyone accompanying"

"yes the hell ka, but Farah today there is a thesis hearing and it can not be delayed. umma, Lutfi same Babah also happened to go to Lake again"

"are you sure? Farah does not want if the sister will be snapped again by Abang because of trivial things"

true, hafidz once yelled at me when Naura almost fell off the chair, even though the chair was not too high and even under the chair was already held up by a thick carpet that was so soft. but hafidz, he said, without hesitation snapped and blamed me, also telling me not to interfere again in taking care of her child.

I was sad and chose not to go back to the cottage again, but my little heart could not lie that I loved Naura as much as my own son.

It felt longing, if a day did not meet with Naura, then I decided not to pay attention to all the words of hafidz that began to be rude to me.

"fidz, where are you taking Naura for a walk? let me accompany yah"

there was no response from him, hafidz was just busy installing a baby seat on the car seat as if he did not hear my words.

"fidz,,"

"without me even answering like you already know the answer"

"but fidz I'm just worried about Naura"

"do you think I'm going to harm my son?"

"it's not fidz, it's, it's,,,,"

"i'm his father, and you're nobody Naura, so you don't feel most entitled to my son"

once again hafidz was very formal and cynical to me, as if I were a stranger to him.

"ka,, it's new. Farah apologizes for Brother's attitude to brother"

suddenly Farah was behind me when hafidz had taken her car out of the parking lot.

"Farah, it looks like ka aisy has to catch up with hafidz. Brother is afraid hafidz has not been able to fully take care of Naura"

"but ka,,"

"sister no papa, it's common with his attitude.'s already well brother wants to follow them first"

I immediately caught up with the hafidz car with my car, and Farah only looked at me with a gaze that might be worried or uneasy over her sister's attitude.

during the trip I continued to focus on looking towards the hafidz car.

'where will he take Naura?'

right in a minimarket, I saw his car stop. Maybe he wanted to buy food for the two of them.

hafidz came out with a baby wheel out of his car, I just noticed his motion from inside his car.

I saw hafidz as if it was difficult to open the stroller to open, earlier I wanted to let him but it seems he was a little trouble then I got out of the car to help him.

"the way it's like this"

I said take over the stroller in his hands.

"if you want to buy something in, let Naura take care of me"

hafidz only looked at me with a cold gaze and then walked into the minimarket.

"the beautiful want to walk well with her Abi, well her seneng"

I held Naura and invited her to play in front of the minimarket while waiting for hafidz to finish shopping.

"De Aisy watch out"

suddenly a body pulled me and Naura so fast that we both fell, and Naura immediately cried because of shock.

and,,,

BUUUKKK

"Naura"

hafidz immediately retrieved Naura from my sling, she kissed her daughter with fear that was clearly visible on her face.

"sorry dear Abi. muach.."

the same worry, which I saw when he was so worried about Nurain.

a large flower pot fell from the balcony of the minimarket.

"don't you papa de aisy? is anyone hurt"

ka Alfan helped me stand up and asked so worriedly, I glanced at Alfan's face there was such a deep concern for me, just like Hafidz's concern for his daughter and his wife, but not to me.

I smiled bitterly at the events today.now I realized that love was not there for me.

even when me and the kid were almost wretched, only the hafidz kid cared.