My Cry and My Happiness Are In Your Home
the morning tragedy

"son, you're fine here, don't bother the nurain family, and most importantly don't make the nurain too tired"

the nanny's mother looked at me with a gaze that I didn't understand.because I myself was a little confused why mother told Gus hafidz don't make me too tired.

though maybe for now we will just rest to welcome tomorrow.

"nur, umma tipped hafidz yes while here. if he's naughty or do something you don't hesitate to pick his ears, umma will not defend him if he misbehaves to you"

the nanny's mother said to me with her playful tone

"yes ma'am, God willing"

"ko's mother? from now on call umma not mother anymore because now nur is the daughter of umma"

I reflexively hugged the nanny mother who is now my mother because of the marriage bond between me and her child.

I cried in her arms, as an outlet for my miss on mom. In this way at least it can reduce the longing for the mother.

"why are you crying, son?"

umma rubbed my head gently, and I just shook my head in response

"don't cry anymore, now there's umma who will love you like your mother. Now wipe away your tears well"

umma wiped those tears off my cheek, I looked at her affectionately.

Thank God, Lord, for you present a mother who also loves me like my own mother.

~

after all the family Gus hafidz pamphit, now live family one by one began to leave us.

"de, Abang also had to pay back to carry out the duties of Abang as a state servant"

"why don't you leave tomorrow?"

I whined a little bit for my brother to delay his departure until tomorrow, because I still want to gather with my father and brother

"can't, Brother was only given leave until the seventh day of our mother's death. Ade don't be sad because now there is someone who takes care of Ade like Abang takes care of Ade"

I looked towards Gus hafidz who was chatting with my father.well, now that Gus hafidz is my husband, he will take care of me and guide me. may I be the best wife for her.

"yuk, between the brothers and the front and do not cry over the departure of our mother again well. the mother is happy with God, we just need to pray it now instead of crying over her"

I just nodded and walked while being held by Brother to approach father and Gus hafidz

"have you gone home?"

gus Hafidz asked when he saw me and Brother approaching

"iya Gus" replied Abang accompanied by a knotty smile

"don't call Gus, hafidz aja bang because now I'm also his brother Brother"

"really, forgive brother who seemed to forget that now has a brother hee"

Brother patted gus hafidz's shoulder

"well, the password left first, sorry for not being able to take you to Surabaya tomorrow"

"it's okay to understand your duty, you are also careful well on the road.may be safe to the destination and always surrounded by people who love you"

then the father hugged the brother with tears that began to come out of the corner of his eyes

"sorry, if you can't be a good father for you, son, even though it's not in our midst but believe me you always see us and are near us"

I saw that Brother also started crying, but he hurriedly wiped away his tears and covered his sorrow before father.

"titip Ade Abang well, take care of him as best you can and love him like his loving brother. Brother believes hafidz is a person of Sholeh and trust"

~

at nightfall, I waited for my father and Gus hafidz to come home from the mosque.Today I did not cook because there was still leftover food from the event.I just warmed it up then arranged it on the dining table.

until the time when Isa arrived father and Gus hafidz still did not return from the mosque, maybe immediately following the recitation or just chatting with the mosque manager, that is what is usually done by the father.

'i better pray Isya first' my inner self.

finished praying, I took the time to read the dhikr and then the Qur'an tadarus for a while. I glanced at the study table in front of me.

'mother, nur kangen very much with mother.this is the seventh day of the death of the mother, can you still see nur now? yesterday the laughter of the mother still broke the silence of this house.the voice of the mother still ringed in these ears.but now, her sense of all became silent, silent and desolate.

'mother, if nur knew yesterday at graduation was the last day nur could see the mother's smile, nur would not let go of the mother's embrace at that time, nur would also always be beside the mother, nur would also be, go home with mom, and maybe sleep while hugging mom.

'mom, nur miss mom, very,,,

these eyes are still not able to be compromised if you think back to mother.just a picture of her face that I can now see, I hug and I kiss with satisfaction.

not yet sincere, just miss this still at home occupy the space of the heart and may never go because I will keep it well.

crying while hugging the picture frame of the mother, for a long time make these eyes become tired and drowsiness also come to stop. slowly these eyes began to close with the remnants of hope and dreams that had not yet materialized

~

Allahuakbar Allahuakbar,,,, you know,,,,

the dawn of Adzan reverberated, I who was still half conscious did not get up straight from my bed.

trying to gather energy to get up, I directed my body to turn towards the back of my back, but it had not yet accumulated, suddenly,,,,

"ayaaahhhh,, uhhh"

BUKK

I kick someone who just slept in my bed.

"why son?"

frantically he opened the door and ran straight towards me

"innalilahi son, why are you downstairs?"

ask the guy I just kicked so hard.

"tadi hafidz fell down dad"

'hafidz? so the one I just kicked was Gus hafidz?' my mind is still not fully conscious

"de you even bengong, instead of helping your husband you know must be sick"

"astaghfirullahal'adzim sorry well, kirain who sleeps next to Ade who, Ade also forget that Ade is married"

innocently I said that might make Gus hafidz would be offended.

"forget? didn't you hear me wrong? just now there is an incident of people forgetting to marry until this way"

I just looked down under the blanket, when my father said his strangeness over my attitude that might be rare.

but it's true I forgot, if I was married yesterday.not because of amnesia but maybe because of the great sense of loss and longing for my mother.

moreover, I and Gus hafidz married on the seventh day of her mother's death, the day that mourning still enveloped my house, especially my heart.

maybe even when yesterday the event took place this heart is actually between happy and sad, but sadness still dominates my heart, until the incident forgot this morning was inevitable.

astaghfirullah, I don't know what Gus hafidz is thinking right now about me.