My Cry and My Happiness Are In Your Home
Deg

"ukhti syafina shidqya nurain,,, shohih dzalika ismuki (is that really your full name)?" ask her using Arabic and definitely without looking at me as well. well that's how Gus hafidz if he talks never look at the person he is talking to either because it is keeping his eyes on or maybe that Gus hafidz did only to me. because I see when I talk to BI Nani gus hafidz always looking at aunty with a friendly smile even. hmmm

"shohih ustadz (truly ustadz)" I replied while looking down but at a glance looking at it. Because honestly I was confused ko name written on the sign of ustadz Agus athary, but the occupying even Gus hafidz. what ustadz there is not continued Gus hafidz who replacein? know ah focus is the same test that was not important awhile ago.my mind tries to brush off all the thoughts that will make my memorization disappear.

"toyyib, are anti ready to take this exam?" ask again in a cold tone

"get ready, God willing tadz" I replied slowly, because actually I'm not sure if this memorization is still there what's been lost partly swallowed as I was surprised to see people who,, I'm disbelieved, I was so shocked, but he is the son of my teacher!!! aisssshhhh so wrong her

"good for the first question of the book of al-jurumiyah, listen carefully because ana will not repeat for the second time, Faslun almu'robatau. Almu'robatu qismaani qismun yu'robu bil?" Gus hafidz stopped signaling that I should continue the verse he mentioned just now, before answering to look ahead just to take a breath, and,,,,, before answering just to take a breath,,,

DEG

I looked right into the eyes of Gus hafidz who was staring at me sharply, I silently stared because this was the first time my eyes and his eyes met each other. it made me hold the breath I wanted to draw and throw it back

"ukhti nurain? what anti pay attention?" his words awakened me

"aeemmm,,eeeuuu,, iya ana is paying attention to ustadz" I answered stammeringly

"Afwan, can you repeat the question?" said again in a soft voice while again subduing my gaze so that my concentration returned

"sorry time is up, and ana said there was no repetition of the question for the second time" he said in a cold tone. nyebeliiiiiinnn,,, why should it be, anyway, I started to get upset, but I could what. when all night I've been studying and I make sure I've memorized about the temple that was read by him earlier.why should he be the examiner?' my mind seems not to want to stop cursing her, even I should her call with her pronouns as if this tongue is difficult and replace it with her pronouns, she said, well I know it's disrespectful because other than the son of my teacher he's also my teacher isn't it? tuh kaaannn again called it by the word 'She'. aaahhh, I patted my forehead a sign I was upset with myself

"ukhti nurain, what is anti-dizziness? or is he sick?" gus Hafidz suddenly asked

"not ustadz, ana is healthy" I replied spontaneously.maybe thought I was sick because I saw me patting the forehead

"then you ask to concentrate again so that it doesn't take long, or anti want to end his exam without continuing the next question?"

"no, no, no ustadz, no, no, no, no please. ana is still concentrated and still willing to continue the test" I replied a little loudly for fear that the oral exam would really not be carried on.

"then ana also begs for anti can be more concentrated"

I just answered him with a nod.

"well, listen carefully to bismillah. Almu'robatu qismaani qismaani yu'robu bilharokati waqismun yu'robu bil alphabets. The falladzii yu'robu bilharokati?" Gus hafidz stopped at the temple, meaning I had to continue the temple.bismillah I thought of recalling the temple which I had always remembered, but now? o Allah, I, ighfirlii dzunubii waffahlii Rohmatik. I still remember the temple, I close my eyes so that my concentration can return and awake.

"ukhti,,,"

"toyyib, next can you please anti-translate the verse that just anti-read?" his word gives the next

"bismillah, falladzi yu'robu bilharokati as for those who are d'irobired with dignity that is there are four kinds, isin mufrod, jama taksir, jama muannas Salim and fi'il mudhore that are not connected with the end of something" alhamdulillah this time I can answer it smoothly and quickly until the question after question is completed by ustadz and ustadzah.

~

"how did you go so well?" maryam asked when widia and I approached her because the exam in my room was over

"that's how" I replied with a slight lethargy

"why is she Wid?" ask Maryam to Widia who I can still hear

"for those who praised ustadz Agus kali" replied Widia while glancing at me

"ustadz Agus who? does exist? ko ana just found out there ustadz whose name is ustadz Agus" asked Maryam curious

"well, ana also just found out about the exam" Widia replied in response to Maryam's question

"which one is Wid?"

"you know the anti-person? let ana answer. people tuh nyebelin, sok jutek, cold snobs, cool pretentious, love to spread the charm, anyway his people really nyebelin and ana do not like to see him. especially because she is so," Widia nudged my hand as I again eagerly answered Maryam's question who wanted to know about who Augustus was.

"what the hell is Wid? ana has not really known the characteristics of ustadz Agus" I said while continuing to walk side by side with Maryam and Widia.

"no need to continue nur, later Maryam also know ko. is it Iam?" said Widia who seemed to forbid me to continue my words

"no, ana has not been sorted out. the point is ana sebel,, really bebel with him, keseeellll,, dasa Agus"

"Afwan gus, we didn't know that Gus hafidz and ustadz Hambal were walking behind us"

DEG

my body seemed numb right then and there, when the person I was ugly turned out to be behind me hearing everything I said about him. Widia and Maryam had walked a little backwards to pay their respects and let Gus hafidz and ustadz Hambal walk first, but me? I am still silent sculpting confused how to? do I have to turn around and apologize right now or do I have to,,, aahhhh run away