My Cry and My Happiness Are In Your Home
Fear and Shame
"nur, is the name anti called?" Widia approached me with a worried look on her face
"iya nur, what is anti nyimpen?" silmi also approached me, followed by my other friends
"you don't know, you don't feel like you're missing anything other than the clothes and other stuff you need here" my heart began to fidget, I was afraid that if I did break it, I would put my parents to shame, and the nanny would be disappointed when she believed in me so much.
"no papa insyaallah this is just a misunderstanding, ana sure anti not wrong" now assyila began to return as usual,, calm me.
"again for the names mentioned to immediately face the court room amni, Syukron for his attention wassalamu'alaikum wr wb"
"according to ana mending anti go there first, insyaallah if anti is not wrong will not be punished" now Widia who tried to cheer me up
"it is not about the punishment that you fear Wid, but ana is ashamed of the same caregiver must be mother also heard this announcement.what he said if he knew ana was called to the amni court after the Akbar raid. just yesterday he advised, the present even got into trouble" said I who still can not calm my heart. whereas I have not faced it but this heart seems to lose before the war.
"god willing, he is a wise man.had anti mending there first" said assyila again.
I nodded and started walking nonchalantly towards the amni court room. All the princesses looked at us whose names had just been called, they stared questioningly, but there are also those who stare cynically as if we were indeed proven guilty.well, that's how to be santri, everything is done and known together.eating, sleeping, bathing, nyuci, ny, until if there is a problem will be known together.maybe according to you who are out there school, this is only a trivial problem or maybe even not a problem. but for those of us who used to live by rules and order, the, not the intention of saying outside there are no rules only if in the pesantren all rules have been made and agreed by both parties between the pesantren and parents of students, and, then this is a big problem and maybe a disgrace if it is known to commit a major offense, but not infrequently it will also be considered ordinary if the person is used to breaking the rules, and it is not me. I'm here to learn, to train myself for the better and for sure I don't want to make my parents ashamed for what I did, I want to make them proud not the other way around, my name was called Because of an indecisive offense I knew what was my fault, I felt that I had embarrassed my parents and disappointed the nanny's mother.