THE BATTLEFIELD OF LOVE
Episode 6's. Freddie Holmes
"Jen." someone called me in the middle of the street when I was just about to walk home after I finished eating with Noah to the front of my flat. I looked back, a modified sports car passed me.
"Fred..." Freddie Holmes's. Why he should show up here. My ex boyfriend is still expecting me. My heart is beating looking at it.
I saw him in a casual, body-fitting shirt, and a leather jacket, as usual he looked dashing. His workplace isn't that far from here.
"How are you. I happened to see you." He parked and stood in front of me. This time it was her figure that felt intimidating for some reason. Maybe because we haven't seen each other for a long time.
"Good, ... " He's a 33-year-old, car modification lover, we met at a community event in this area a few years ago. Falling in heart when you first see it. And then couldn't take it off.
He owns a well-known car modification workshop in El Paso. He's established, dashing, he can get whomever he wants.
A year ago, Freddie and I parted ways without him agreeing after we were together for about a year. He wants a more serious relationship, I'm not ready for that at all.
At that time I did not think he could propose to me so quickly.
"Have you had dinner?"
"It." I actually avoid moments like this. "I have to go home Fred, tomorrow there's a morning operation." I was looking for a reason to avoid it.
He thinks I'm too selfish. He was angry and did not understand when he heard my reason. And asked me where my logic was because I wanted to go through an extra lecture that was so long. While he can give everything for me.
He was right, he could give everything. Unless he can't heal the hard years I've been through. I know I was being selfish. I let go and hope he meets a more deserving girl.
"You're so happy to avoid me Jen. Didn't you?!" He stood so close that he took me a step back.
"Fred, you know why. Why are you making this so hard." Maybe almost half a year later he didn't call me. But then he tried to talk to me again. I always try to avoid it a little.
"You accompanied me for a little drink, we haven't talked for a long time..."
"I should..." I want to answer I can't and avoid it.
"It's just a conversation, why do you always avoid me, even my phone is rarely picked up. I'm not gonna force anything on you." An angry tone was stuck in his voice.
I still didn't move from my place.
"We're just drinking in Herrings, I'll take you home at 11." It was the pub we always went to
I was still silent in my place.
"Come on. I promise I won't be more than 11." He pulled my hand. I finally gave up and got into the car.
"Why are you so stiff, which is Jen I used to know.." she laughed. I'm pounding, I'm not sure what I'm doing is right or not. But now I've been in his car. The two of us were silent for a moment when his car was walking through the streets that had started to desolate.
"How's your workshop ... " He shrugged his shoulders.
"Good going as usual. Everyone's asking you why you never came back. Looks like they're going to have a free consultation with you..." I laugh.
"You look thinner, do you eat well..."
"I'm fine." He was not the first to say I was skinny. Am I forcing myself too much?
"If you need anything, you can ask me. Why don't you call me..." I'm silent. I'm not like the other girls, asking all kinds to their girlfriends. I feel insulted to do so.
"Why don't you see another girl Fred, it's been almost a year." She's quiet. I don't know what she's thinking. He was silent until we arrived at Herrings Pub.
The pub is not too crowded. I don't really want to drink. Freddie ordered a whisky and coke cocktail. I only drink lemonade.
He started talking as usual. Telling simple things, it's nice to hear Fred tell stories, he can always make you laugh.
He kept his promise to come home at 11. I got in his car and he was driving to my flat.
"Fred, why don't you just forget me."
"Tell me how Jen does it." She's staring. My heart was ready to hear his words.
"Fred..." He pulled his car over at an on-street parking lot. He's facing towards me.
"Jen, I'll be waiting for you..." He held my hand. Staring at me in my eyes at the dimness of the street lights.
"You what?"
"I'll be waiting for you to go to college. Just so you're with me. Whatever you want as long as you stay with me..."
"You're wasting your time, Fred..."
"No!" Voice's hardened.
"Fred, you and I have talked about this. You're making everything so hard. I know what's on your mind..." She wants me to have her baby and I will make me give up my dreams.
"Why don't you try it. You don't miss me. I'm not breaking my promise..."
"Fred, that,..." He took off my seat belt and quickly pulled me in his kiss. It was pushy and I couldn't breathe when Fred locked my position. I tasted her breath that smelled of vodka.
"You know how much I miss you. If you know of a drug that could make me forget you, tell me Jen." I looked at him and felt sorry for him.
"Fred, that,..."
"I promise I won't force you." A kiss came back to me. "I can't forget you. I tried Jen! dating others, even hating you! And I'm getting tired of doing it."
"Come back to me." I knew this plea would get me in trouble.
"I'm so selfish Fred, don't you realize that. We're gonna fight a lot."
"I don't care! If you could be so selfish! I can too! Why are you so proud of yourself! Like you don't need anyone else? You think that's true!?" He was angry at my refusal.
I was silent with his anger. If I could just let go of my own selfishness. But my anger won't let me take it.
Fred's right I'm too proud of myself. I feel cursed to live like this.
I started sobbing.
"Why are you so stubborn Jen! You're not okay! I know what you're up to, look at you! You put in a lot of effort, then what you're going to accomplish up front! Why are you trying so hard!? Who will see your proof. Your mother never thought you existed! Why are you so stupid!" His anger made my tears fall.
He'll never understand. He never lived it...
He backed off to see me cry.
"I really don't understand Jen..." He gripped the wheel tightly. And running the car. I'm not talking about anything just trying to wipe away my tears that can't stop coming out.
I thought we were going home. But then I realized we weren't headed to my house.