THE BATTLEFIELD OF LOVE
Part 84's. Cheers Up Tootsie's
"Why you?" A voice made me look.
"No." James appeared and sat down beside me. "Just be sad." I tried to wipe my tears.
"What makes you sad? Fred again or Andrew this time? If Fred's ever gonna say you're stupid, but if Andrew I can beat him up for you." I will not laugh for the rest of my tears.
"The problem is not that simple. If I were faced with the same choice maybe I would have chosen the old one too." I'll tell you what happened. She smiles.
"I think you think too much. Andrew hasn't said anything. Why do you think it must be like that. Don't think ahead of what hasn't happened."
"Really, I don't think I'm wrong..."
"Don't think too much. You don't know what he's thinking at all."
I'm quiet now. My thoughts still remain the same, with the arrival of that woman everything will change.
"Get into the room and rest. There's no point in you crying over things that don't and haven't happened." Men never understand women's intuition.
"You will never understand." James breathed to hear me.
"You want me to talk to him?"
"No. This is our business...You can't help me. I just want James alone, it's okay I'll be fine."
"Yes, I haven't been sleepy yet I've accompanied you here." He turned his head to look at the stars above. I just sat with him.
"If he is like you said. He'll go back to the girl what you're gonna do." After a while he asked.
"I'm preparing myself, crying here. Maybe tomorrow I'll get tired of crying and accept it more peacefully. I also can't continue our relationship, if she's been overshadowed by that woman. So I better make peace with reality. Because in my shadow maybe if Fred suddenly shows up here. I will also ... You know, choosing the same thing. I understand his point of view." Now I'm not crying anymore. Just sit next to James and be quiet. "You know after a while the love affair doesn't become something to be looked at too seriously."
"You won't try to fight for your relationship." I'm shaking.
"No James, for what. Let him choose himself. Our problems are many, why add unnecessary problems. A normal, quiet life is all that's needed right now."
"Suddenly I just wanted infected to disappear and I could go back to El Paso, meet my mother and see the city again."
"There were crowded, life at least did not change too drastically. What lives now are small towns, where people can survive by farming and working on food with their own hands."
The talk was fun then, talking about the hopes and past that we hoped would happen again, what we missed, maybe there was hope we would experience it again.
"You still remember your ex-fiance James?"
"Hmm. I guess if here, we get married, there's something really hard going on. I'm beginning to understand that sometimes accepting destiny is a way to keep a quiet life. There is nothing we can have completely in the world. So did my mother's departure."
"Yes.you're right." I agreed after both experiencing what it was to lose. "We just walk and do what we can."
"It's late, it's getting cold. Let's go to sleep, you need to rest for tomorrow." He's moving now. This time I feel much better now.
"Thank you for coming with me to talk to James."
"When you need Tootsie." He called me back with that silly call. I grimaced wide.
"My teeth are flat now."
"Ohhh I thought you still needed carrots." They called me Tootsie because I only had two front teeth when I was eight, and the toothless side grew too late so I was like a rabbit with two teeth in front when I smiled.
" Oh, I still like carrots." He's laughing now.
"They'll be harvesting carrots soon, you can eat away at them as much as you can." I punched his arm in return.
Strange, someone from the past. If Pighead aka my brother was here he'd be an extra bully. But our destiny wasn't that long, at least Pighead's friend is my conversation partner now.
I feel lucky, grateful tonight at last. Losing a love that is not mine. It's okay, it'll just be sad for a moment.
There will all be time.